I had weird ex-boyfriend incidents this weekend

The knocker upper called me last night and asked me if I knew anyone in politics in the county. I probably do, but off the top of my head I couldn’t think of anyone. I barely watch the news, let alone get involved in politics. He then tells me it’s because he’s trying to get a job at Brookwood (basically a secure facility for bad boys) and it’s very politically charged and he needs some sort of referral. Um.. since we’ve been reacquainted in the last two or three years, you’ve gotten fired from one job, and just stopped going to the others. Do you REALLY think I’m going to ask someone to refer you for something? I think not. I didn’t say that to him on the phone because I was still a little shocked by the question and completely enthralled with the Golden Globes, but I just might. Unreal.

Friday night, as I was just getting into The Transporter 2, my phone rang. It was my ex, Bill, who had moved back from South Carolina in August. We have yet to see each other. He mainly calls me to ask me questions about pop culture he can’t answer, and then says nothing for the rest of the conversation. If you call me, have something to say! Anyway, I didn’t answer the phone because I was tired, just getting into the movie and since it was 11 on a Friday night, I figured he was half in the bag. When I checked my voicemail at 12:30, I was right. The message was completely incomprehensible (is that a word?). I listened to it twice trying to make sense of it, but I got nothing. I deleted it, even though I should have kept it to terrorize him with. He called while I was at the gym on Saturday, but I never returned the call. I really didn’t have anything to say. I emailed him today and he was like.. “oh.. yeah.. erase that message.” Some people (myself included) should not be allowed to drunk dial.