I need to start playing the lottery..

I was at work until 8:00 last night, which is funny considering we were in the best shape we’ve ever been for a closing. I’d hate to see what would have happened if we were in bad shape. I basically left here, got a happy meal (I gave J. the toy.. I don’t think he was impressed), tried to watch TV and eventually went to bed. It’s funny how J. isn’t getting enough sleep and I’m getting TONS as I’m going to bed at ungodly early hours. Anyway, like I said, I have a closing today so this may be the only time I have to post so I better get to it, and quick!

Let’s start with reality result shows: Paulina Porizkova got booted from Dancing with the Stars and rightfully so. It’s not that she was bad, she was just…. boring and lacking a strong fan base like the others. I will be shocked and disappointed if Leeza Gibbons doesn’t bite it next week. I wasn’t awake to watch last night, but Goil was dismissed from Top Design. I can’t say I’m all that surprised. He’s been losing his shit the last few weeks and his “innovation” might have been too much for the judges. Chris Sligh, the curly haired singer from Greenville, SC (one of my old pseudo stomping grounds and home to my red carpet partner in crime, C. Howe) was eliminated from American Idol. He and Haley Scarnato were in the bottom two and after hearing him butcher my favorite Police song “Everything Little Thing She Does is Magic,” I can see why. Sanjaya and his seven ponytail fauxhawk are somehow still going strong. America has issues. I don’t know what has happened on America’s Next Top Model, but I do know the girls were getting a little skeeved out by Natasha’s “not” green card marriage. I can’t wait to watch the episode!

In other reality show news (kind of) Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi has separated from her husband, renowned writer Salman Rushdie. No offense, but she was way too hot for him anyway.

I had a list of things to write about, but damned if I can remember them now. It’s been a long week and I can’t wait until it’s over. My friend Amy is supposed to be coming into town this weekend, but she hasn’t been feeling well so I’m not sure what will happen. I’m trying to get my shit together for Ireland but the weather is kind of similar so I’m wearing what I’m going to pack, which make it difficult. I forced J. to go to the mall with me Tuesday night and hit all the girlie stores in one fell swoop. I even begged him to go have a cigarette so I could have a few minute alone at the Clinique counter, where the girl suckered me into buying more so I could get the free gift before I leave AND a lip gloss I didn’t know I needed or paid for. We also hit the discount beauty supply store and Bath and Body Works. Poor guy.. he was a good sport though. After that, we went to his sister’s house for what was supposed to be a quick visit. We finally left around 10:30. His sister kind of scares me, as she’s very similar to him, but it seems like she likes me and I laughed my ass off the whole time. I also found out that J. is going to Florida the week I’m in Ireland. A buddy of his is retiring from the Navy so he’s going down for his ceremony and spending the week with him. He leaves and comes back the day after I do, so we both need to get packing!

Anyway, sorry I missed your hump day, but at least it’s getting closer to the end of the week! Hope you have a great one and if I can, I’ll throw some more fluff your way later on. If not, buck up little camper… tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Books

I read a lot. I always have, and more than likely always will. When I was about three years old, if that, I memorized the book “Milton the Early Riser.” I knew where to turn the pages, so everyone thought I could read. Sneaky little sucker, wasn’t I? Anyway, I've matured a tad since then, so my taste runs the gamut from cheesy girly lit (The Devil Wears Prada, for example) to my obsession with the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre and memoirs. Anyway, I have a plane ride to and from Ireland to contend with so I needed to find some new books to bring with me. I went through my Amazon.com wish list and it read like this:

The Night Gardener by George Pelacanos
Skylight Confessions by Alice Hoffman
Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon (the more I read the description, the more I wonder why it’s on my list)
Gimp: When Life Deals You a Crappy Hand, You Can Fold or You Can Play by Mark Zupan
Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs
What is the What by Dave Eggers
Lisey’s Story by Stephen King
Best Seat in the House: A Father, A Daughter, A Journey Through Sports by Christine Brennan
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid: A Memoir by Bill Bryson
The Day I Turned Uncool: Confessions of a Reluctant Grownup by Dan Zevin
Striking Back: The 1972 Munich Olympics Massacre and Israel’s Deadly Response by Aaron J. Klein
The Idiot Girls Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life by Laurie Notaro

What I did pick off my list were The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (I think) and Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger. Why, you ask? Because they’re paperback! I swear, every book I tried to get that I felt was long enough for me to warrant bringing along, was hard cover. I don’t know about you, but I’m packing enough; hardcover books are extra weight I just do not need in my carryon luggage. I might still take a trip to Barnes and Noble (like I need an excuse) because I don’t know if 1,000 pages of reading will be enough for me.

If anyone has any recommendations, please feel free. I’m not real big on sweeping, period epics (a taste that also is obvious in my movie choices) but other than that, I’m game.

A good laugh

One of my co-workers and I were discussing how celebrities are going to rehab for anything and everything, and how it's become the "in" thing to do. It all began when I was telling her about my newfound love for Amy Winehouse and her song, Rehab. I'll let her do the talking:

this is true. I wonder, if Britney ever cuts a new record, if she would consider calling it: "Shame Spiral" . it could include hits called:

"F*ck Hair and Underwear"
"Disposable Children"
"Boozy-boots"
"Crotch Attax"

Seriously... if you didn't almost pee your pants over that, you have no sense of humor. I wish I could take responsibility, but I lay that post squarely on Petra's shoulders. She's a funny broad.

It might be time to come out...

I am a closeted (ok.. maybe not so closeted) fan of The Hills on MTV. I DVR The Black Donnellys so I can watch The Hills. I know.. it's a sickness. Anyway, I didn’t watch the first season of Laguna Beach, but I did catch a few episodes in the second season which must explain my love for Lauren Conrad. It may also be why I find this so funny. It couldn’t happen to a more annoying person and considering those kids in Laguna like their booze, I’m really not surprised.

Last night I said I wasn’t going to, but I watched the entire episode of Dancing with the Stars and YES, I voted. I don’t know who’s going to go tonight, but I hope it’s either Leeza Gibbons or Paulina Porizkova. They were both so boring and to do a boring mambo is not a good sign! Anyway, the men performed the quick step and the women performed the mambo. Billy Ray Cyrus looked like an entirely different person. I was so surprised at how well he did, and I kind of hope he doesn’t go home, even though his score last week was one of the lowest ever. I think his daughter’s fan base will ensure his return. I think Apolo Anton Ohno has turned himself into a bit of a front runner, along with Laila Ali. Both are obviously athletic, but are able turn that into grace as well. Laila’s mambo was one of the best and Apolo probably had the quickest steps of the night. Honestly, all the guys did pretty well. Then again, I guess if I practiced something 6 hours a day for five days a week and had nothing else to do, I’d be great too! I voted for Heather Mills because 1) I feel bad for her, as I’m sure most people are shunning her due to the whole “divorcing a Beatle” thing and 2) she’s quite good! Granted, her style choices haven’t been that great so far, but the back walkover she pulled off last night was amazing. I also split my votes between Ohno, Ian Ziering, Ali and John Ratzenberger. I just like him for some reason. Tonight is the results show, 7 mintues of which will be shared with American Idol, which apparently is a huge deal. I don’t get it, but whatever.

I watched “Running with Scissors” this weekend. The movie is based on the memoir written by Augusten Burroughs and has a bevy of stars including Annette Bening, Alec Badlwin, Joseph Fiennes and Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m not a Paltrow fan, never have been. However, she played the spinster sister pretty convincingly. I was never quite sure if she was homicidal or just strange in that non-threatening way. Annette Bening was amazing and I’m no longer surprised why she was nominated for many awards for this role. I’ve read every single book by Burroughs and I thought the movie was a great adaptation. It was directed and conceived by Ryan Murphy of Nip/Tuck, who seemed to be the perfect candidate for this kind of material. I don’t believe the movie did real well at the box office, but if you like quirky comedies, I highly recommend it.

Does Hollywood have to remake EVERYTHING?

They’re remaking Teen Wolf… with a girl. I don’t know about you (and it may be my love for Alex P. Keaton talking) but why would you remake that movie? It’s awesomely 80’s and amazing and no one but Michael J. Fox should play Teen Wolf. No, not even Jason Bateman.

Nina Garcia, one of the ultra fabulous judges of Project Runway, has given birth to a son with her husband, David Conrod. Lucas Alexander Conrod weighed in at 7 lbs, 6 oz and is as fashionable as ever. I’m sure Nina will be in fighting shape to judge the next season of Project Runway.

I have a new favorite song: You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse. I’ve heard a lot about her (and seen her penchant for bouffants) but I heard this song and loved it instantly. I felt that way about her other song, “Rehab” which I heard for the first time on my way to work this morning. Anyway, I downloaded it last night and it now sits firmly atop my Ipod playlists. I like the fact that unlike most, you can still hear her British accent when she’s singing. I never understood how or why performers somehow lose their accents when they sing.

I got a random email and phone call yesterday. I didn’t answer the phone call, as it was from a 212 area code and a number that I didn’t recognize. As I checked my voicemail, I was simultaneously checking my email and received one called “McFadden’s Saturday Winner.” Well, I spent many an hour dancing on the bar at McFaddens on St. Paddy’s Day, so I opened it. Apparently, I won 2 hours of free boozing from 9-11 on Saturday night. All top shelf, whatever I wanted. If anyone in my party wanted to do it, they would have to pay $15.00. Also, if I bought ten or more people with me, I’d receive a gift certificate for dinner. Great deal, right? I agree, however, I found out about it yesterday and do not live in NYC so it’s kind of a waste. My friend Amy is coming into town and it’s also my friend Shannon’s birthday. Both are good reasons to go, but the amount of money it’ll take to get down there and back doesn’t really add up. I did email the woman back and told her I was leaving for Ireland on Friday (little white lie) to see if it was something we could do another time, but I’m sure it’s a one shot deal. Hey, it can’t hurt, right? I always tend to win things I can’t use. I once won tickets to a Blessid Union of Souls concert, but I had something else to do that night. Just my luck.

I think we’ve heard THIS story before.

I've been a slacker

of momentous proportions. I apologize. I’ll try to get a few posts in today to make it up to you.

I guess I’ll start with the weekend and see how far I get. Friday night I got slightly screwed in my NCAA pool with USC losing to North Carolina. They put up one hell of a fight and I almost thought they’d pull it out. Either way, it didn’t matter as I had the winner of that game losing to Georgetown, which they did. The big kicker was Kansas. The bastards got their ass handed to them on Saturday night and that ruined it for me, as I had them to win the whole thing. Somehow, I’m still in the running for my office pool, as I’ve accumulated a shit load of points. If Georgetown beats Ohio State and Florida beats UCLA, I’m golden. If UCLA and Georgetown make the finals, I need Georgetown to win it all. If there’s no Georgetown, I’m a big loser. Honestly, I didn’t expect to come close to winning in the first place, but I’ll take the $33.75 I’ll win and even the $11.25 for second place!

Saturday was my friend Lynn’s baby shower. I really loathe showers. I know no one really enjoys them, but most people find them tolerable. I am not one of those people. But, Lynn is one of my oldest and dearest friends and I was there, armed with a gift. When I get there, her mother-in-law asks if I’ll help with the gifts. Sounds good.. gives me something to do while she’s opening the presents. Then the mother-in-law brings about 4 kids up to help me. Um.. did I ask for help? Nope.. don’t think I did. Anyway, along with those kids, there are three LITTLE kids standing in front of Lynn and they keep trying to pass her gifts, which weigh about 14 times their body weight. I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but kids kind of irk me. I know, it’s not their fault, but where were the parents when they were trying to pick up things that could be breakable!? So, I don’t think kids should be at weddings or showers for that reason. Anyway, I tried to be nice, but I think the look on my face was a dead giveaway that I was irritated. Regardless, we got her through the presents in record time. Halfway through, I realize that Lynn’s sister-in-law is simply sitting on her ass, watching the festivities. Um, this kid is going to be her niece or nephew and she can’t help? I swear, between this and my other friend’s bridal shower, I’m going to go postal. The bridal shower is not in town and as of right now, they’re asking for $150 from each bridesmaid.. That’s $900. They better be serving Cristal. Anyway, I REALLY don’t have $150 extra bucks so it looks like I’m on a payment plan with my sister. I am never being in another wedding again and this whole debacle has made me believe eloping is a much better option.

Saturday night I went cosmic bowling with my cousin and a few friends. We went out for a few drinks afterwards, but it was a pretty mellow night. My mom and I hit the outlets in Lee on Sunday and I got some cute stuff, including a spring purse at Liz Claiborne. She wouldn’t let me go into the Nine West Outlet, but I hit the Gap and got three t-shirts for $4.97. That helped make up for it. Sunday night J. came over and forced me to watch the first installment of the new documentary on the Discovery Channel, Planet Earth. I admit, it was kind of interesting, but I’ll never tell him that. He’s a Discovery and History Channel junkie and he drives me crazy with what he learns while watching said channels. Luckily, he’s been working early mornings so he fell asleep about 15 minutes into the next one. I guess I know what the next few Sunday nights are going to be like for me because I know he’ll want to watch all the others. Oh well.. maybe I’ll learn something.

Time for me to attempt some work. I have a closing this week so I’ve been pretty busy as of late. I’ll let you know what I thought of Dancing with the Stars and some of the gossip going on later in the day.

Tragedy.. that's the only way to describe it

How did I miss this and how did anyone that knows me actually let me miss it!?

Too many sports at once!

The Orioles beat the Dodgers 8-0 yesterday, thanks to the work of Steve Trachsel and Nick Markakis (thanks for the picture O's). Trachsel worked 6 innings, only allowing two doubles and two walks. Guthrie had two scoreless innings and “The Todd” worked a scoreless ninth (I wonder if he’ll feel me up on Photo Day again… good times). Anyway, Markakis was stellar at the plate, just missing the cycle by a double. He had a solo home run in the first, a two run shot in the third, an RBI triple in the fourth and a single for good measure. He’s hitting over .400 in the preseason and I can only hope he can continue the tear he’s on and prove that he’s not a one season wonder. The O’s travel to play the Red Sox today, pitting Erik Bedard against Curt Schilling. The season can’t come quick enough!

It’s that time again… the Sweet 16. Some of the top seeds BARELY eked out wins last night, but I’m still in good shape. I had Kansas, UCLA and Ohio State to win, but I’m screwed in the other bracket as I don’t have Memphis (or Texas A & M for that matter) going anywhere. All I can do is pray that Ohio State beats Memphis so I can redeem myself. I have a feeling I’m going to shit the bed in my pool which sucks, as I’ve been ahead throughout the whole thing. However, two people had all their teams still in going into the Sweet 16. I’m only down one, but that might be enough to overtake me. I’ll keep you posted as to how I’m doing. I know I’m not ahead by too much and I’d hate to peter out at the end after doing so well!!

To end my sports themed post, let me remind you that Peyton Manning is hosting Saturday Night Live with musical guest, Carrie Underwood. I think I’ll have to DVR that. I mean.. he’s not an actor so you know he’ll screw up and laugh, but it seems like he has a good enough sense of humor that he might actually do well and not mind poking fun at himself. I still laugh at his other commercials so it might be worth the wasted space on the DVR. Wow, that will put Peyton in the same bracket as Jeremy Piven. If only he knew…

I’m swamped at work today. The HB is up my ass and it’s not a pleasant place to be for anyone, so this could be my one and only post of the day. If that’s the case, TGIF and have a fantastic weekend. We’re finally getting the weather we should be so go out and enjoy it!

Sublime (the movie, not the band)

I believe I told you that last night J. and I watched the movie, Sublime. I don’t think it was ever in theaters, but in the trailers it’s billed as this scary horror movie. Not the case. I didn’t even jump once, which says a lot. Anyway, the point of this post is that Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was in it. For those of you who are not in the know, he was Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington on “Welcome Back Kotter.” At one point he walked into Tom Cavanagh's hospital room and was just standing there. I desperately wanted him to say “HI THERE,” because that would have made the movie entirely worth my while, much like “mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane” made Snakes on a Plane watchable. Alas, it didn’t happen and I fell asleep at what I assume was the pivotal point of the movie. I do not know what happed to him or Tom Cavanagh, although I do know the ending of the movie. I guess I better ask J. when we’re both coherent, not comatose, as I believe I did last night.

Back with the Gossip

Tony LaRussa was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving in Florida early this morning. Apparently he was found asleep at the wheel of his SUV at a stop light. He gave two breath samples and was determined to have a blood alcohol content of .0093, with the legal limit in the State of Florida being .008. The man is 62 years old and the manager of a baseball team. Maybe he was just tired….

In other drunken driving news, Vivica A. Fox was also arrested on suspicion of drunk driving last night in California. Apparently, she blew past a marked police car on the 101 doing 80 mph. She was unable to perform a field sobriety test and blew over the .08 legal limit on two breathalyzer tests. Apparently Wednesday nights are a big boozing night for the celebs!

Calvert DeForest, best known as Larry “Bud” Melman died at the age of 85. He had been a regular on the David Letterman Show from 1982 - 2002. There was supposed to be a tribute to him on Letterman’s show on Tuesday night, but it was postponed after Adam Sandler took over for an ailing Letterman that night. Woody Harrelson’s father died of a supposed heart attack in a Colorado prison. Harrelson’s father was a convicted murderer and was serving two life sentences for the murder of a federal court judge.

The DNA of Dannielynn Hope and Larry Birkhead has been taken, so it will only be a matter of time (four days approximately) before we learn what we’ve known all along: There is no f’n way Howard K. Stern is the father of that child. I really hope it’s Larry Birkhead. Even though he’s one of the dreaded paparazzi, he seems like a nice enough guy and really wants to be a father. Howard just wants his very own cash cow.

Britney Spears has left rehab but this time, it’s because she actually finished her treatment. She left Promises yesterday and has asked for everyone to respect her privacy. What’s the over/under on when she’ll be back in a bar, shaking what her momma gave her? Honestly, I hope she goes back to Louisiana and takes some time for herself and her kids. That girl has issues! Oh yeah, and I hope she gets some better wigs.. maybe she should talk to Ken Paves, Jessica Simpson’s mane man…

Nicole Richie has been diagnosed with hypoglycemia, which kind of explains why she’s been a fainting mess on the set of The Simple Life. Girlfriend needs to eat a burger and some sweets, that’s what she needs.. Get her some sugar!!!

Last night was very mellow. J. and I were exhausted for some reason. We went to dinner at the diner and then came home and snuggled up in bed watching the movie Sublime. It looked a lot scarier on the trailer. I always seem to fall asleep during the most climactic parts of the movie, so I’ll have to ask him what the deal was. I saw the ending, but missed just prior so I didn’t really get what happened. So, I have yet to watch America’s Next Top Model or Top Design, but I hear Michael got booted from Top Design. I’m ok with that. He was kind of whiny and irritating, then again, very few people on that show aren’t. Finally, Sanjaya is still alive.. must have been that crazy, crying kid. The bottom two were Stephanie Edwards and Chris Richards, with the surprise being that Stephanie went home! Oh well.. everyone loves drama and this seems to be it.

March Madness starts up again today!!!! A reason for being!!!

Nothing like a great title

to make someone's day. Sandra is one of the people who actually remember "Me and My Llama" on Sesame Street and she was actually kind enough to look for it on YouTube. If you don't remember, click here to see if this clip can spark any memory for you.

Me and my llama, we're going to the dentist

When you start your day off at the dentist, you can almost guarantee that things aren’t going to go your way.

The last time I went to the dentist was in September, and prior to that, I hadn’t gone in about three years. I know… bad Kara! Let me plead my case: I was in school for part of that time and didn’t have insurance for the rest. So, the exorbitant expense of dental care got thrown by the wayside. That will NEVER happen again. I learned my lesson, as it was an excruciating visit and I never want to go through that again without anesthesia. Anyway, I was pretty sure this visit would be better than the last so I went in there with a better outlook. Plus, I get my money back through my cafeteria medical plan so it’s almost like not spending it at all! Anyway, no cavities, but I do need to start flossing. It’s always been my downfall and this is the first time my dentist has ever really said anything to me about it, so I figured I might as well jump on the flossing bandwagon. The visit wasn’t half as bad as last time, but there was still a little pain. Hell, it’s the dentist! I got to work around 10:00 and was kind of prepared to start my day.

An hour later, I’m STARVING. I had the same breakfast I’ve had many times previous, but it just wasn’t working for me today. I had to eat one of the granola bars I keep in my desk. I had lunch around 1 and at 3:15, here I am, eating a granola bar again. I really don’t know what my deal is today. I’m not normally this hungry. Maybe I have a tapeworm.

I had to do this special project this afternoon (or so they tell me) and when I got back, the heinous bitch was up my ass. I sent her a list of documents we still need for a closing. I’ve been waiting on a secretary all day and since she asked me for the email of missing items, I figured I’d just send it, with a note that I was still waiting on the stuff from said secretary. will transcribe the conversation, but leave out the incriminating evidence: You tell me if I’m imagining the bitchiness..

HB: Please check with _______. Did she provide you with the most recent items Joe received? I also know that we have some of the public hearing items. Unfortunately, you need to check in multiple locations for missing items. Please do so before providing me with a list. Thanks.
Kara: I had been waiting since about 10 for _________ so I thought you'd want to see where we stood right now. I will continue to check with her.
HB: Instead of waiting for her, just ask her to give you her filing so that you can look.
Thanks.
Kara: I did this morning, and I just asked her again. Once I have it, I'll update you. Thanks

I have a feeling this whole “killing them with kindness” thing isn’t going to work out. (Don’t you love the overuse of “thanks?” God knows I didn’t mean it and I’m sure neither did she).

I’m going to try and get some work done AND try to get back to you later. If I don’t, enjoy your hump day!! Don’t forget to watch America’s Next Top Model tonight… Renee is finally going to lose her shit and I can tell it’s going to be GREAT TV.

How I Spent My Monday Night..

I really didn’t mean to, but I watched the ENTIRE premiere of Dancing with the Stars. What can I say? I love dancing! Anyway, first ones out of the gate were Ian Ziering (Steve Sanders on Beverly Hills 90210) and resident winner, Cheryl Burke. Their performance was pretty good for the first week, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get better. She is the two-time defending champion and Ian surprisingly has a lot of rhythm and charisma. They earned a 21 out of 30 for their cha-cha.

Paulina Porizkova (Sports Illustrated swimsuit model in the 80’s and wife of Cars frontman Ric Ocasek) and Alec Mazo. Mazo was previously paired with Season One winner Kelly Monaco, so he knows how to groom a winner. You had to feel bad for Porizkova when the first thing out of her partners mouth was “my dad has lots of pinups of you.” She handled it really well. She was quite graceful and danced well, but was a little boring. Their score was a 19 out of 30.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Karina Smirnoff. Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to see Karina in the final two again this year. Billy Ray is a trainwreck of epic proportions! I give him credit for trying but between his two left feet and Karina’s wiggy malfunction, things just don’t look good for these two, unless he can finagle the Hannah Montana crowd to the phones for support. They scored a paltry 13 out of 30.

Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovalani - Leeza IS the oldest woman to compete, and that’s what she looked like. Granted, Fox trot is kind of boring to watch, but she really isn’t that great a dancer. She was one of my least favorites and I kind of hope she goes next week. She and Tony (previously paired with Sarah Evans) scored 15 out of 30.

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson - I’ve seen him on Broadway and even though I’m already sick of the “fat one” references, I think he has a slight edge. Granted, ballroom isn’t like the hip hop he’s used to, but he has rhythm and it shows. They did a great job and scored 24 points, which is pretty impressive right out of the gate.

Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy - She was surprisingly good! I guess I expected her boxing background to be a deterrent when it comes to form, but she did a really good job. She and Maksim have similar personalities which really comes across in their dancing. You can tell they genuinely like each other and may have even been sexier than his pairing with Willa Ford last season. Their overall score was a 23.

John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska - Considering he’s the oldest competitor and had roughly two weeks to practice, he really turned it on. He has pretty good movements and obviously, he caught on quickly. He might be this year’s Jerry Springer. I mean, while the kids don’t know who he is, their parents certainly do and will be rooting for him to beat out the young guns. He has a lot of work to do, but has great potential. Their score was a 17/30.

Shandi Finnessy and Brian Fortuna - these two were nicknamed “Barbie and Ken” and it’s appropriate as can be. There is definitely a spark between these two, and you can tell they’re really having fun. As much as I hate it when they don’t smile while they’re dancing, she needs to tone it down a bit. She was Miss USA 2004 so the plastic smile is a given, but it’s got to go. She did a pretty good job and if she uses her height (and those legs) to an advantage, she could end up like Stacey Keibler. They scored 19/30.

Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko - Clyde is at least a foot taller than his partner, but they don’t call him “the glide” for nothing. At first glance, I wasn’t impressed. The more I watched, I realized that he really does have a knack for the movement and just needs to use his height as an advantage and not try to duck into everything. I think once he loosens up, he’ll be great. Their score was 18/30.

Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts - Come on, you know this is what everyone was watching for! I mean.. who doesn’t want to see if she loses her leg or at least falls, especially since the whole world is rooting against her for badmouthing a Beatle!? Anyway, she actually did a pretty good job. Her upper body needs some work and she needs a new stylist cause that dress and hair was heinous, but if she can get the audience support, she might be able to stick around for a while. Their score was also 18/30.

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough - The show started off with a bang, and definitely ended with one. Ohno was definitely lacking in the practice time since he’s also still competing in speed skating and was in Milan for the World Championships just last week. Anyway, they had great energy and Apolo was pretty good with the footwork. They were definitely one of the most entertaining couples and I hope they stick around because I’d like to see what he’s capable of, given the same amount of practice time as the others. Their final score was 21/30.

I didn’t vote but if I had, I would have voted for Apolo, Joey and Ian. The girls rarely impress me in the beginning, so I need a little love. I probably would have given Heather Mills a sympathy vote as I can only imagine the scrutiny she’s going under by doing this with her divorce in the paper all the time (Sorry Sarah Evans, your husband is NOT a Beatle). Anyway, it took me HOURS to compose this post and you can probably tell I was getting a little sick of it in the end, but the couples all perform again next Monday and the elimination is Tuesday. My guess is Leeza or Billy Ray is out the door, but we’ll have to wait and see.

I think I told you last week that I was a fan of The Riches, but that won't stop me from watching The Hills on MTV. That show is like crack... I'm ashamed to watch it, but I love every second and find myself yelling at the TV when Spencer is a douchebag, which is pretty much 13 times an episode. Oh Heidi, when will you learn? Don't worry, I'm still DVRing The Black Donnelly's..
I also finished watching ANTM last night, but I don't have the energy to compose a monster post so I'll just tell you that Cassandra had to go (and it was about damn time) and there was plenty of drama and makeover madness. Apparently it's either big hair or hardly any hair at all...

The Pictures You've Been Waiting For

First Beer of the Day
This is our NOON Picture
Dancing on the bar at McFadden's (don't know the random girl to my left, but I do know she got WAY too close for my personal comfort!)

Always Use the Buddy System

Pictures are forthcoming, but there was a story I just had to tell.

My friend Shannon was supposed to go with us in the morning, but didn’t make it. So, we basically called her the whole train ride down and berated her until she agreed to come down if we’d meet her at the train station, which we did. We all had an awesome time, which was great because I don’t get to hang out with Shannon as much as I used to. She got married in August and is trying to get pregnant, so our lives don’t always cross the same paths. Anyway, she and I are old friends through dance class so it was pretty difficult to get us off the top of the bar at McFadden’s. Around 9:00 we realized that we needed to leave if we wanted to make our 9:45 train. Did anyone want to leave? Absolutely not! But I knew that once we did, we’d know we made the right decision. Anyway, the walk to McFadden’s didn’t really seem that long that afternoon, so I thought we could make it to the train station without taking a cab. Around 9:30 I realized that we might want to catch one. Of course, there were TONS of traffic so it took just as long to get to Penn Station either way. My sister and two of our friends were already at the train station getting some dinner (they got an earlier cab) so I knew where to find them when we finally got there. We all got in line and got food pretty quick (we had lunch around 3 or so, and were STARVING and drunk, not a great combination). Anyway, the minute we got our food, we all ran towards our gate, 6E. My sister, our friend Kate, myself and our friend Nikki all made it on the train first. Shortly after, Danny, Angela and Fish made it. Where was Shannon? She called me and was at Gate 16, not 6E. She tells me this as the train is leaving the station. Obviously, no one can jump off or anything, so she’s stranded. Granted, there’s an 11:45 train but that’s not helping her right now as she’s pretty much hysterical. I tried to calm her down as best I could and I also called her husband to let him know the deal. I felt terrible, as did Nikki for we were the ones that pretty much forced her to come down.

I figured she was pretty pissed at us (even though it wasn’t really anyone’s fault) so you can imagine my surprise when she called me at 2:30 to tell me she got home ok, and she didn’t sound upset or pissed off or anything! You can also imagine my surprise that I heard the phone ring. By that time I had been passed out for two hours and was feeling pretty hungover! I called her the next day and it seems that when she took off for the gate, Danny told her to go to 6E, which she misunderstood for 16. So, she feels like an ass and kept telling everyone at the train station that we weren’t the type of friends that would leave her (as everyone’s response was “your friends LEFT you?” which we didn’t… at least not on purpose), it was just a big misunderstanding. To make matters worse, she lost her cell phone that night and it’s probably being used by a drunken homeless man as we speak! To quote her “It was bad, but I had fun.” Luckily, she met a nice couple taking the same train as her home and they let her use their cell phone and took care of her crying, drunken ass. Regardless, I don’t think she regrets coming down and in a week or so I’ll bet we can laugh about Shannon’s drunken night in NYC. But I’ll give it some time before I make that joke.

Is it Monday already?

Ok.. Friday.. The other paralegal apologized to me for being a bitch the day before and I just kind of let it go. Um.. not before getting teary. It’s not my fault! I have PMS and someone could tell me I look gorgeous and I’d probably bawl my brains out. So, I was willing to let it go. Then I went into her cubby to deliver a fax and her email was up. The email up there was between her and our office manager and it basically said “I was pretty sure she was going to call in sick today.” Um.. oh no she didn’t! ONE TIME I did that, and it wasn’t on purpose. I totally forgot about the deadline and I couldn’t get my car out of the driveway. Now I wish I had called in sick. I did end up being able to leave at 3:30 though. All that drama for no reason. Gotta love that. It took me over an hour to get home, but I got there safely and put my car in the garage for the weekend.

I’ve realized I’m a bit obsessed with the NCAA tournament. They don’t call it March Madness for nothing! I wanted to bring my brackets down to the city with me so I knew how I was doing, but my sister insisted it would make me a dork and wouldn’t let me leave the house with them. I’m ahead in my pool at work, but I had Nevada going to the Elite 8 and they’re out. I don’t know how far ahead I am than everyone else, so we’ll see what happens. It kind of ruins my week now that I have nothing to obsess about as I did all weekend. I watched nothing but basketball and movies! Yesterday was a complete waste and the perfect day to do just that. I watched Hollywoodland, which wasn’t bad. I’m not sure how I felt about the ending but it was an interesting flick. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a movie with Adrien Brody and I kind of like his “attractive, but not attractiveness.” Another movie I suggest you give a shot to!

I’m putting the pictures from Saturday on my computer tonight, so I’ll post some later on. I don’t really have time to tell all the stories right now, but I’ll try to throw a couple in during the day if I can. If not, tonight for sure. All I can say is that the weather wasn’t too cold and we had an absolute blast! I danced on the bar at McFadden’s for HOURS and my whole body is killing me. Guess I need to hit the gym again! In other news - Chris Daughtry was in concert in Troy on Saturday night and obviously, I couldn’t go. So, I’ll just post a pretty picture instead.

Update to Yesterday's Work Related Post

So.. around 5:25 i get back to my desk and the other paralegal says something to me along the lines of "we're gonna fight about this." I have no clue what she's talking about and then she starts in on this whole issue (the staying late thing) and how she can't believe I'd stick her with it after she's been busy all week, yadda yadda yadda. OK.. first of all, I never said I WASN'T staying.. I have to. It's in my job description.. but do I have to be all sunshine and roses about it? Umm.. no. So i basically said that to her and wanted to say "yes.. I forgot you're the only one that works here" but I restrained myself. I pretty much just walked away from her after that because there was nothing more to say. Apparently they weren't making her do it because she has a closing today (oh yeah.. she doesn't). Plus, it's something she's familiar with and I've never done it. So why would you have me do it when it has to get out ASAP instead of someone who's familiar with it? She's been a super bitch for two weeks and everyone's afraid of her. She got me so pissed that I almost started to cry.. I was just so irritated and I knew if I didn't cry and/or walk away from her, I'd say something that would have gone over like a fart in church. I said goodnight to her last night (out of spite) but that was it. I'm curious to see how today goes. She'll either not talk to me or kiss my ass. I hope she doesn't talk to me...

Don’t get me wrong, I know I didn’t handle it the right way in the first place, but it’s not her place to confront me on it. That’s why there are supervisors and other such people. I had smoothed it over with the office manager regarding the way I handled it and had considered the issue over. Honestly, I had forgotten that the other secretary had today off so I was taken aback and confused as to why it had come to me, and I didn’t want to be stuck here not knowing what the hell I was doing. That was (and is) my issue. I’m not sure if it’s even going to happen, which will really irritate me because a big deal was made over nothing. Par for the course. Again, I’ll keep you posted on this one. It could get ugly.

You've SERIOUSLY Got to be Shitting Me

Our Office Manager just “stopped by” my cubby to tell me that one of the girls has to leave for a doctor’s appointment tomorrow at 2:45. It can’t be changed. Anyway, there is some document that needs to go out tomorrow and if she doesn’t get it done, I have to stay and help. I was like.. um.. I had no plans on being here at 4:00 and she gave me this look and was like “well, you need to stay to help.” (Honestly.. the last thing I need to do is stay in this office.. on a friday... but I digress) So I said “that’s fine.. but if the weather gets bad, I’m leaving regardless.” That went over like a fart in church. Ok.. I’m sorry for being the bitchy, non helpful co-worker, but there is literally going to be NO ONE here tomorrow. If it needs to get out, get it done tonight when people are here and more than likely staying late to do other stuff. I’m just irritated as I was quite excited (as you well know) to be out of here at 3:30 tomorrow. I almost don’t want to come in early if I’m going to have to stay anyway. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I think what I hate most is that I’ll probably be twiddling my thumbs most of the day but then at 4:00 it’ll be “hurry, hurry, things need to get done,” and that’s just not fair. On the Friday before St. Patrick’s Day. Seriously.. the f’n nerve…. I’ll keep you posted on this one.

POP!

As I told you yesterday, I went to see Music and Lyrics last night with my cousin Chrissy. I’m a sucker for a romantic comedy, especially one with Hugh Grant, so it was pretty much a no-brainer that I’d enjoy myself. The movie was actually very funny! The songs get into your head and I promise you’ll laugh at the cheesy 80’s video they show in the beginning and end of the movie. It was pretty reminiscent of how things were in the 80’s, all the way down to the tight pants and big hair. What can I say? I’ve been a relatively decent fan of Hugh Grant ever since he shimmied to the Pointer Sisters in Love Actually. His dance moves are pretty much the same in this film and still make you smirk every time he tries. It was a good way to spend an hour and a half, even if I am still burping up popcorn.

That was about the extent of my night. When I got home I called J., but he was already asleep. Occupational hazard of working at 4 am. He swore he’d be awake when I called, but he hadn’t taken a nap so I wasn’t all that surprised to find him asleep. I then called my friend Amy, who I’ve been playing phone tag with for almost a week. I did finally get a hold of her but we didn’t have the chance to talk as much as we need to. We’re going to attempt it again this weekend. However, she let me know that she still wants to come visit me the weekend of the 31st and may bring her man with her. We went to college with Dan, but they reconnected just a few months ago and have been an adorable couple ever since. He’s a piece of work and it’d be fun if they both came. Plus, Amy hasn’t met J. yet and as one of my best friends, I’m anxious to see what she thinks. We’ll see how it goes. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but all the girls from college were supposed to come visit that weekend, but one by one they bailed, so I canceled Girls Weekend. Amy had still been planning on coming, so I kind of hate to disappoint her.

Top Design is wearing on my psyche. I’m so sick of all these “group” projects. I don’t think it’s really a fair indication of the work the designers can do. For drama’s sake, Carisa and Michael ended up on the same team and the fur started to fly in 3.2 seconds (if that). Anywho, the premise was that both teams were putting together a party for Bacardi Limon, incorporating the five senses. Both had a tent to work with and very little time. Poor Goil kept getting the shaft and you were almost positive he was going to go home. Anyway, I fell asleep about 20 minutes in and woke up for eliminations so I’ll just tell you what I saw. Carisa, Michael and Matt won, mainly because their set up was slightly more classy and less.. well.. ugly. Andrea, Erik and Goil’s place just looked a tad tacky to me. Goil was the first to be told he was safe and the look of pure shock on his face was priceless. Anyway, they sent Erik packing and I think it was mainly because he took responsibility for the design, which was surprisingly heinous. He was a good sport about it and that leaves us with our final 5. I hope they get to do things on their own soon so you can really see what they’re capable of. Anyone can be part of a team, but when they’re on their own, can they step it up? That’s what the competition should be trying to figure out.

I didn’t watch the performances on Idol, but I did watch the results show. I know Brandon forgot the words, but at least he can sing! Someone please put Sanjaya out of his (and everyone else’s) misery. I feel for the kid, but even he knows he shouldn’t still be there. He’s gonna need a ton of therapy after this!

I reported on Brian Robert's contract extension yesterday, but for some reason neglected to post a picture. I will remedy that situation right now:

My NCAA Division I Brackets

Otherwise known as, another waste of $5.00!

I won’t bore you with the details of how they got there, but these are my Final Four teams:

Florida v. Kansas = Kansas
Ohio State v. Georgetown = Georgetown

Kansas to take it all.

I LOVE watching college basketball, but I have no rhyme or reason to my choices. My sister actually has the same final four as I do, just a different outcome. I threw a few upsets in there, but mainly I think I was pretty conservative. I’ll keep you posted as to how I do on my office pool!

Who wants some gossip!?

Ok, it’s not really gossip because it’s true, but the Orioles have FINALLY signed Brian Roberts to a two year contract extension. He was up for free agency in 2008 but they managed to snag him through 2009. If I only knew when Photo Day was, I’d be able to rest easy.

Today is National Potato Chip Day. Don’t ask me why or how I know this, but if I am telling you, it must be true. I’m afraid I won’t imbibe any chips today though. I’m headed to the movies tonight to see Music and Lyrics with my cousin, Chrissy. We’ve been planning this for so long that I was pretty sure the movie would leave the theater before we’d get a chance to see it! So, it’s popcorn for dinner for me tonight…. One of my favorites!

Tori Spelling gave birth to a bouncing baby boy yesterday. His name is Liam Aaron (after her dad.. the Aaron part I mean) and he weighed in at 6lbs, 6 oz. Apparently, her mother was even with her during the labor, which is a big step for the family. Looks like babies always do manage to bring people together.

Last night was pretty low-key. J. and I went to dinner at Friendly’s because I had a coupon. Yep.. a coupon. I actually had more than one but you can only use one at a time and they expire tomorrow. Every time we tried to go the damn place was packed! That was basically the extent of our night. We watched a repeat of NCIS that we’d both seen, but forgot the outcome of, channel surfed a bit, then went to bed. Yes my friends, we’re the epitome of the jet-setting, party all night celebrity couple, aren’t we? Perhaps we will be this weekend, just not in the same area. He’s headed to Boston to see the Dropkick Murphys while I’ll be whooping it up in NYC. He’ll be there all weekend but I’ll have more fun, as I’m wearing a really cool t-shirt. I might try to shrink it a little tonight. It’s in that awkward too-long-not-to-tuck-in phase and I know by the end of the night that tucking my shirt in is not a viable option. Plus, since my boobs are going to be covered the least I can do is show my ass and see if I can get some free drinks, right? Just a thought.

It was a crazy busy day at work (in a good way, if you can believe that) and I didn’t get to take a lunch so technically I could leave early. However, I think I’ll use that extra hour on Friday when there are NO attorneys present to give me more work! I’m out of here in a half hour so enjoy your evening and make the most of the warm weather we’ve got left!

Bad way to start your day

I got stuck in the elevator of my parking garage. I was on the 4th floor as usual, got in, pressed the L button and…. NOTHING. Door closed, but I went nowhere. I thought “oh.. maybe the L button isn’t working (even though it was lit up),” so I pressed 2. Again… nothing. I started to get a little nervous. I mean, what’s stopping the elevator from plunging to the ground, right? Finally, I pressed the open door button and they did open, so I took the stairs all the way down. OK GOD, I get it. I haven’t been going to the gym and need to take the stairs. Mission accomplished.

I also have a hole in my knee high. I almost always have a hole in my knee highs lately. I guess it’s because I cheap out on them as I go through them rather quickly, but come on! It was fine when I put it on, but the second I put my shoes on I felt my toe touch leather. So now I have to go through the rest of my day with my second toe (the index finger toe, if you will) basically losing any and all circulation it had. That’s always fun.

Time for me to start some work, as I’ve been here for 42 minutes and have accomplished nothing but a breakfast of a Weight Watchers Double Chocolate Muffin. It’s Wednesday. You know what to do.

If you can believe it

I’m crazy busy at work. Then again, the shit rolls downhill, doesn’t it? It’s making my day go by quickly and getting me to the weekend might not be as hard as I’d anticipated. Almost all the attorneys will be gone on Friday so that will be a nice way to end the week. Anyway, let’s get things started, shall we?

I got home relatively quick last night and was ready to settle in for an easy night. I started my laundry way earlier than normal, cooked myself up a turkey burger and fries, stuffed the envelopes for the bridal shower and sat down on the couch to watch Step Up. When I put it in the DVD player, I noticed there was a crack in it reminiscent of a bullet hole, but I thought I’d give it a shot (no pun intended). An hour in, the movie just shit the bed. It was JUST getting good! So, I had to do a report through Netflix and hope they send me a replacement soon. At least I’ll only have to watch 45 minutes of it instead of the whole thing when it does come!

J. managed to get himself onto my shit list (there’s a lot of shit going on, isn’t there?). He was supposed to be on vacation next week but there is a heavy shipment going down so they pushed it back. His boss asked him (at an ungodly hour of the morning) if he could take it the week of April 8th, which he said yes to. Yep.. that’s the week I’m in Ireland. Now, it’s not like we had anything planned, but it’d be nice to have the same week off as your boyfriend if you were going to be in the country! So, I was just saying that if they’re asking him to push his scheduled vacation back, then he should have a say in when he takes it. He insists he did. Um… right. So then I asked him not to work on April 6th, as that’s the day I leave and he’s not supposed to work on Fridays but he said “well, it’s the last day of the shipment.” Yeah… you can see where I rate in all this. Anyway, he was trying to say that he could probably use a day and not work on the 6th but he’s also on this whole “I do what I want” rampage (which I’m well aware of as he does do what he wants). So, I know he was trying to do the right thing by saying he’d take the day off but I basically said “do whatever you want, you’re going to anyway.” I was pissed! I then said “I’m done with this conversation, I’ll talk to you later.” He did call later on that night and I admit, I wasn’t real talkative, but that was because I was trying to watch the rest of the pilot of The Riches. So, I’ve decided not to mention it at all and see what he does. It’s not like I need his help to pack or get there, but it’d be nice to spend some quality time with your boyfriend the day before you LEAVE THE COUNTRY!

Whoo.. got that off my chest. Oh yeah.. Jason finally realized I’m not speaking to him (yep, he’s a brain surgeon) and wanted to know why. I basically said “you didn’t do anything, I’m just done worrying about other people’s feelings and it’s time I put my own feelings first.”
His response: Whatever.
Mine: Exactly what I mean.
His response: Well, I wrote us off already (um.. I wrote us off a year ago).
Mine: Then give your friends your “upgraded” girlfriend’s phone number to get a hold of you. I’m sorry you’re not mature enough to be my friend (what I really wanted to say is that you can’t be just my friend if you’re constantly trying to get in my pants. It doesn’t work that way.. but I think he got the point, as I didn’t get a response.) Unless he does something else dumb enough for me to warrant a mention, you might not read about him any more!

On a happy note, they’ve finally announced the casting for Project Runway, which means they’ll probably shoot over the summer and show at Fall Fashion Week. I was getting worried, but now I’m so darn excited. I wasn’t going to be able to wait until the fall.

Finally, Carrie Underwood is the musical guest on SNL when Peyton Manning is the host. Be careful Peyton.. I’ve heard Miss Underwood digs the strong, quarterback type!

Enjoy your evening and hope your day goes by quickly!

PS - I just got into a March Madness pool at work... Anyone want to give me any insight? I watch the games all the time, but know nothing about the teams.. except that Syracuse isn't in it (Sorry Rob.. had to go there)

My weekend started off with a bang..

Friday afternoon, Jason called to make sure I was bringing his wallet. This is how the rest of the conversation went:

K: Um no, I’m going to keep it for myself.
J: Yeah, I see right through you. You’re going to forget it so you can lure me to your house.
K: Goodbye Jason. (click)

Delusional? Just a little. So, I’ve basically had it with that situation and in response, simply handed the wallet over, not even looking him in the face. He said thank you, I said you’re welcome and that is where it ended. Considering I didn’t get any texts that night he either a) knows I’m irritated or b)gets the hint that I’m not playing the game anymore and would rather not speak to him if I have an option. Anyway, that’s how the night started. I bowled relatively well even though my ball was EXTREMELY cold from sitting in my team mate’s car all week. I had the first eight strikes in the last game. That’s a mere four strikes away from a perfect game. I knew that wasn’t going to happen as I just don’t have the nerves for it. If I was going to ever bowl one, it would have been when I was in my prime and bowling practically every day. On the ninth ball I was pretty much shaking my way to the line. I picked up my spares for the rest of the game and finished with a 267. I didn’t want to bowl 300 anyway. I mean, I wouldn’t even have hit 700 for three games and that’s just wrong!

I went home and ended up boozing it up with J., Tre, Danny and Fish. We played some old school drinking games and had a really good time. Saturday I basically spent the day clearing out the DVR. I watched America’s Next Top Model and The Black Donnelly’s. Both were stellar shows. I’m really liking the Black Donnelly’s. It’s slightly different than most shows. It’s violent and sometimes hard to follow, but still good TV. Later on I watched Denis Leary’s “No Cure for Cancer.” J. bought that over along with a Mitch Hedberg cd/dvd. I’ve heard No Cure for Cancer before, but nothing beats it with the mannerisms and facial expressions from Leary. Same goes for Lock N’ Load, which is on the same disc he bought over (I watched that on Sunday). Saturday night I let my sister take me out to dinner at Meadowgreens, then I had to wait around for friends to arrive so she wasn’t there by herself. There was a party there that night but bitches are BROKE these days so I decided to skip it. Instead I went to J’s and watched some Law & Order: SVU.. until I crashed on the couch at 9:45 (before the time change). Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t go out.

Sunday morning I had to go to my parent’s house to take a picture of me, my sister and our cousins on my dad’s side as part of a gift for my Uncle Jack’s 60th birthday. My mom is making him a photo DVD of all these old pictures she found in our cellar. It’s pretty cool and ends with an old pic of us girls, then the updated one. After that, my mother and I went to the Palace Theater for a dance competition. My mom’s friend’s daughter was competing, as were some of the kids from the studio where I now dance. Anyway, it was really entertaining for me! I really enjoyed it and I might even go to the next one. There are all different categories and types of dances, but the hip hop routine from my studio literally blew me away. You’ve never guess a pregnant white girl choreographed it! It was absolutely amazing. I wish I could have stayed for the solo numbers, but it was getting late and my mom had stuff to do. When I got home I (finally) cleaned my bedroom and bathroom. I like my things neat, but I sometimes overlook the dust way longer than I should. My parents bought over pizza and we discussed car insurance, which I feel I pay too much of! After that, I headed to J.’s and we watched this movie, The Return. Well, I watched it (most of it) while he snored next to me. What makes me mad is that I fell asleep when there were about 20 minute left so I missed the whole climactic ending. I have no idea what happened so I guess that’ll be his excuse to get me to watch it again. It was interesting. Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, surprisingly enough.

Well, you know what happened early this morning, so I guess you’re up to date on the haps in my life! No Heroes till April 23rd, so I have big plans tonight: I’m going to watch Step Up, stuff bridal shower invitations, do laundry and try to look for a job. I told you… VERY big night!

I’ll try to be more gossip oriented tomorrow. The day just got away from me. Enjoy your Monday night.

There are good ways to be woken up...

and there are bad ways. Example: Sex is always a great way to wake someone up, even if they didn’t even know they wanted to have sex (If my mom is reading, that’s what Tre told me). A bad way: getting head butted by your boyfriend. That happened to me at 3 am. He’s had a tendency to flail about in his sleep, cold cocking me in the face more than once. Well, last night he literally grabbed my head, then head butted the hell out of me. I actually screamed, so loud that the dog pushed the door open to come in and see what was going on. J. didn’t wake up until I started slapping him, yelling “what the fuck?” He was so apologetic and I know he didn’t do it on purpose, but that’s not to say I wasn’t peeved, especially since I couldn’t fall asleep for at least an hour afterwards. I think I was a little nervous that it would happen again so I kept trying to position myself so there was no way his head could reach far enough to head butt mine again. I asked him if he was dreaming and he said “I think I was fighting with my brother.” Um… yeah… tell him “you’re welcome” the next time you see him cause I definitely took one for the team on that one. Happy Monday kids… more to come later.

Just for the hell of it...

I'm wasting my last hour of work by watching the premiere of The Riches on MSN TV. Ok, I"m basically listening to it because it keeps getting the picture caught, but it's still pretty interesting. I don't think I'll get through the whole thing now, but it's been pretty good so far.

Salma Hayek has announced that not only is she engaged, but she's also pregnant. She has kept it pretty low-key with her businessman beau, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who didn't see THAT one coming!

Anyway, nothing else really mind shattering going on, so I just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Weekend. Get out and enjoy any nice weather we get!

Where oh where, has my paycheck gone?

I normally love Payday Fridays. They are my favorite day of the working week. However, when your paycheck is pretty much gone the minute you get it, the luster kind of wears off, don’t you agree? That is the dilemma I’m facing right now. Thank god for Netflix. At least I can catch up on movie watching, and I’m sure there are movies J. owns that he feels I need to see. We still haven’t watched The Prestige (since he got it on DVD) and I have yet to watch The Departed since he got it for me. As you can see, it’s looking to be an entertaining weekend. Thank goodness for the dart board, pool table and ping pong table. It gives us something to do besides go out. Although if last time we drank is any indication, I might want to stop and get some mixers on my way home from bowling!

Yesterday was pretty low key, as usual. I went to Sue’s, then to dance, then to J.’s. It was so damn cold that I stopped and got a hot cocoa on the way and let me tell you, it tasted FABULOUS, as did the bite I snaked from J.’s breakfast sandwich. Everything was reruns (I think) so we were asleep by 10:30. I needed it after the early morning I had yesterday. I managed to get in here by 8 today, so I’m out no later than 4:30. We have staff lunch today, which means they buy us lunch. It’s never quite what you want, but it’s free. Can you really knock that? Anyway, if no one hangs out past a half hour you can bet I’ll be only doing a half hour lunch and leaving at 4. I love getting home at a regular hour on Fridays. I might do it all summer and let them think I’m still bowling! Wow.. did I really say that? Because if I’m here this summer I’ll go postal. Anyway, tonight is bowling where I have to give the knocker upper his wallet. Joy. Also, I hope my teammate shows up on time as my bowling ball is in her car! Speaking of the knocker upper, he called me four times yesterday because he had an extra ticket to see Breaking Benjamin, which was a sold out show. Did I want to go? Absolutely! Did I want to go with him? Negative. I didn’t even call back to thank him for thinking of me. I just decided to avoid the whole situation so I’m sure I’ll get the third degree tonight.

Today is the 10th anniversary of the death of Christopher Wallace, the Notorious B.I.G. As far as I know, it’s still considered an unsolved murder. Click here for some quotes from the man himself. Today also marks the 20th anniversary of the release of U2’s “The Joshua Tree.” Now I don’t pretend to be a huge U2 fan, but I did get schooled in them by a superfan ex-boyfriend and I have to say that this is quite possibly one of the best albums of the 80’s, perhaps for “Where the Streets Have No Name” alone. I mean, this is the album that made U2 the band they are today, even though they got better with age. Everyone has to start somewhere.

On the gossip front, there’s a little rumor going around that not only has Tom Brady impregnated Bridget Moynahan, but he might have sperminated Gisele Bundchen. I don’t particularly believe this rumor. The girl is a supermodel. She was with Leonardo DiCaprio for what seems like ever. I don’t think she’d let herself (and her body) get knocked up by the next guy that comes along. Then again, models aren’t know for their common sense.

Snakes on a Plane

Oh yes.. I watched Snakes on a Plane last night. On purpose. I actually ordered it from Netflix. Let me explain: As an avid reader and subscriber of Entertainment Weekly, I was a victim of all the hype laid upon it before it’s opening last year. I was SURE it was going to be some sort of cult classic, but it kind of bit it at the box office. I couldn’t get anyone to actually go to the movie with me, but J. said he’d watch it on DVD. Famous last words. I got it in the mail on Tuesday and instantly showed him what he was in for. We were having trouble deciding what to do last night, so he suggested we watch it. We went to dinner first, which took forfuckingever and by the time we started the movie it was 9:00 (I forced him to watch the America’s Next Top Model elimination before we could start the movie). Now, we watched it in bed which is usually the kiss of death for me, but I didn’t turn the lights out nor did I get under the covers. I did put my jammie pants on though.. I mean.. there has to be comfort! Anyway, no more than 10 minutes in all I can hear is snoring coming from J. 10 minutes!? Give me a break! I knew he was tired and didn’t want to watch it in the first place, but I thought he’d put a little more effort in! Anyway, the movie was a tad slow to start, but I’m a little disappointed that it wasn’t as terrible as I had anticipated. There actually was a storyline and how can you not love Samuel L. Jackson!? I found the snakes and their attacks to look very animatronic, but that’s just me. Regardless, the effects were still nasty! I know they did use some real snakes and some CGI or something else, but they pretty much all looked fake during the attacks. The only unfortunate part is that you have to wait an hour and a half(ish) before you hear Mr. Jackson say “mother fuckin’ snakes on this mother fuckin’ plane. If you’re curious, I say give it a shot. There are way worse ways to spend an hour and 45 minutes.

I admit, I’m a little tired today because I was up at 3:30. I had the most heinous dream/nightmare. At least I think I did. All I remembered when I woke up was that J. and I had broken up. I didn’t know how or why, but I knew we weren’t together anymore. Imagine my surprise to find him fast asleep in my bed. I was completely freaked out. It was so vivid and real. I kept snuggling up to him to make sure he was there because he wanted to be and not just because it was convenient or something! He never really woke up which is surprising, as I tossed and turned for at least an hour and a half before finally falling asleep, only to be woken up by his alarm at 5:15. Obviously, everything was fine between us, but it really freaked me out. I haven’t told him about the dream yet as I was a tad comatose when he left this morning.

I actually searched out work today from one of the partners. It’s going to last me a few days, I can tell. At least I won’t be able to bitch that I’m not busy! Anyway, I should really get on that since I spent a solid hour of billable time researching bars in NYC for St. Patty’s Day. I made a pretty decent list and sent it along to everyone we’re going with. We always start at the Blarney Rock and then I’m kind of unsure where to go. Anyway, I looked up some of the other bars we’ve been to in the past and I’m trying to figure out if they’re all within some sort of walking distance. I don’t really want to go to tons of bars as the cover charges will be insane, but it seems wrong to go to just one place. I also don’t really feel like trying to get a cab as things will be crazy. Hell, if we can find one bar where we can get good seats on that day, we might just want to take advantage! Anyway, if anyone has any insight, feel free to comment! My other bars are the Pig N’ Whistle on 3rd, McFaddens and the Blarney Stone. I did look up a few that might be close to the Blarney Rock so we’ll see where we end up!

Almost time for lunch so I’ll get a move on. I’ll try to shoot you some gossip later but if not, just remember: Tomorrow is Friday. It could be Monday.. remember that!

Who's in charge of programming at NBC?

Heroes is taking a break until April 23rd. APRIL 23RD!!! That’s OVER a month and a half before I find out what happens. Whose brilliant idea was that!? Anyway, let me give you the rundown:

Niki/Jessica - Jessica was able to get out of Niki long enough to put a picture of Nathan Petrelli on DL’s pillow. DL didn’t figure it out though, so Niki was off to Vegas to kill him. Luckily, Jessica was once again able to get out with enough time to warn Peter that Linderman knows he’s spying for the Feds and subsequently wants him dead. This was not, however, before Niki killed the Feds.

Nathan - See above. Does NOT kill Linderman (played brilliantly by Malcolm McDowell), even though the opportunity certainly is there. Too much to lose, I think.

Claire - Manages to evade the Haitian at the NYC airport by stealing his passport and boarding pass before he can get through security. She then goes to the only place she feels safe - Peter Petrelli’s. When she gets there, Peter’s mother opens the door and Claire sees the Haitian. She then introduces herself to Claire as her grandmother and we begin to wonder what role she plays in this whole ordeal. If she knows the Haitian, she obviously knows way more than anyone ever anticipated.

Mohinder - FINALLY realizes who Sylar is and drugs him. It works for a while, but Sylar’s lack of observation skills allow Sylar to take control of the situation.

Hiro - With the help of Nathan Petrelli, he gets into Linderman’s museum to steal the sword. However, the curator catches him and calls security. Security comes in the form of Ando, who helps Hiro barricade the doors so he can steal the sword he so desperately needs.

What else? Oh yeah.. there’s a new character who’s a shape shifter, which is why we saw Simone alive in last week’s previews. She and HRG went to Isaac’s to clean up his mess and make sure the cops didn’t know what he did (Peter had called them after he left the apartment). All HRG tells Isaac is “to paint.” When HRG gets back, he begins talking to his wife about what happened (as she knows more than she lets on), but Eric Roberts puts one over on HRG because it’s our lovely shape shifting friend screwing him over. Peter heads over to Mohinder’s and finds Mohinder attached to the ceiling (not yet dead) and Sylar ready to work his magic. The episode ended with Sylar cutting into Peter’s skull and we see blood and hair fall to the floor. AND THAT IS HOW THE BASTARDS LEFT IT UNTIL APRIL 23RD.. Bitter? Me? Never. I guess now I’ll use Monday nights at 9 to catch up on my DVR’d shows. Damn you NBC. First, no Office and now this. You’re lucky I love you.

The Girl Who's an Idiot..

I can’t even begin to do justice to the first hour of the season premiere of America’s Next Top Model, so I’ll simply say that Tyra Banks and her motley crew of henchmen/women will never get old. I sincerely wish she would ditch that talk show of hers and film America’s Next Top Model 365 days a year. Her entrance into Model Boot Camp was priceless, even though she quoted movies some of these girls have probably never seen (I have a feeling Apocalypse Now and A Few Good Men aren’t high on Kathleen’s Netflix queue.) Anyway, the first hour is basically whittling 33 girls down to 13 (what is with the odd numbers this year?). It’s pretty obvious who’ll get through considering the air time some girls get as opposed to others, but I was pretty surprised they didn’t push Micheline through. Granted, the majority of her body is covered in tattoos, but she was a beautiful girl with a great body and I wish they’d kept her to see how that would fly in the fashion industry. Then again, since they cut her I guess that it doesn’t fly at all. Interesting…

So we’re down to the final 13: Sarah, Kathleen, Jael, Renee, Dionne, Diana, Whitney, Jaslene, Natasha, Brittany, Samantha, Felicia and Cassandra. I’ll try to give you a little something on each and how they fared in the first photo shoot, so here it goes:

Sarah - I love her hair and wish I could have it for myself (the cut, not the color). Anyway, Sarah comes off as a bit of a know-it-all but I kind of like her. She’s a photographer herself, but she bit the big one in the first shoot (then again, so did everyone else). She had to portray “life in prison” but she basically stood next to the cell with a vacant look in her eyes. NOT what Nigel and Jay were looking for. She’ll start some trouble and I have a feeling she’ll be around for a while, if only because in the promo they point out how badly she did. That usually means they’re messing with our heads and she’ll be around for a while.

Kathleen - the first girl booted off this year and thank the good lord. This girl is dumb as a box of rocks. She was supposed to be “anti-fur”, which is probably the easiest one you could have gotten, but she was asking the stylists what it meant. Nigel and Jay couldn’t help her at all and I almost died when Miss Jay basically told her she was a moron at panel. Course, if I said “fur is ok when the animal dies on its own” and “animals fight each other in the woods and the jungle, right?” Seriously, I thought Twiggy was going to ask her if she got dropped on her head as a young child. Granted, those are not direct quotes, but that is the gist of what she said. Anyway, she got booted and I can’t say I’ll miss her as she quite possibly had the most annoying voice in television history.

Jael - looks like a crackhead, but might come across pretty in pictures. She had to portray “pro-life” and was latched to the front door of an abortion clinic. Again, nothing in the eyes. She said it was because she was sick (Tyra don’t play that) but was hula hooping after the shoot. She won the challenge (putting together an outfit in three minutes at Goodwill) but didn’t want to point it out because she didn’t want the others to not like her. That attitude almost got her booted, but she lives to stick around another day. She’s interesting and I’m not sure how I feel about her yet.

Renee - backstabbing bitch of the house and I ADORE her. She’s from Hawaii and has a young son (who she brings up every five minutes) and cries like there’s no tomorrow. However, I love that she says what she means and doesn’t really give a shit who’s around to hear it. She had to portray an “anti-gun” hippie, but it didn’t connect. She looked pretty, but there was no feeling behind it. Actually, she looked scared shitless.

Dionne - Ok.. I don’t remember Dionne.. I remember her name, but that’s it. Oh wait.. she was the Vegan. Anyway, she didn’t do much for me. Her picture was pretty, but catalog pretty.

Diana - one of the plus sized models (oh yes.. there are two) and she’s screwed because she’s really not the pretty one. Tyra likes her proportions…. I wonder if Tyra would like my proportions… Anyway, she was supposed to be pro-gun and for some reason they dressed her up like a bike cop. Yep.. biker shorts are REAL flattering on bigger thighs. Anyway, I gave her credit for trying to jump and move during the picture, but she just didn’t put enough into it. I thought her picture was even worse than Kathleen’s but you get credit for effort on ANTM, so Diana stays.

Whitney - the other plus sized model. She was part of a picture for gay marriage where she (of course) got to wear the tux. She’s got a beautiful face, but she didn’t really put it or her body towards the camera so the picture isn’t that flattering for her. However, she has some personality and if she could figure out how to work it, I think she’ll stick around for a while.. Longer than Diana for sure.

Jaslene - here’s our fierce Latina. She wasn’t picked to be in the house last year and was determined to get in this year. The Panel keeps saying they don’t see the sexy latin fire that was in her last year, but she attempts to prove them wrong. She had the death penalty and she knocked it out of the park. She was dressed as an executioner and she got it completely right. The girl’s got a stomach to die for and she seems to be fun to be around. She could be in my top 5, especially if the first picture is any indication of things to come.

Natasha - I hated her from the get-go. Whether she admits it or not, the girl is a Russian mail-order bride: She married her 40 year old husband at 18 and he bought her to America. I didn’t think I’d need a translator for that one, but she seems to think it’s normal. Oh yeah.. and she’s conceited as all hell. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a pretty girl but pretty girls get ugly the minute they tell the world (in broken English) they will win because they’re pretty. Oh yeah.. she’s a brain surgeon too (note the sarcasm). Anyway, she had pro-choice and she basically did.. well.. nothing but look pretty. Yep.. it gets old. I hope they thin out her hair during makeovers. That might help.

Brittany - not conventionally pretty. She gives off a bit of a drag queen vibe, especially in her pro-fur picture, taken in a fashion show setting. However, she’s entertaining and it’s the ones that are a bit quirky that usually do well (Amanda and Michelle in Season 7 for example). I like that she doesn’t look like anyone else and she was one of the few that took a good first picture. She’s gonna have to watch that drag tendency though.

Samantha - she reminds me of Brooke from last year. Young, cute and not very interesting. She was the wedding dress wearing half of the gay marriage picture and while she had the same problem as Whitney (not facing the camera) she made it work for her. She could be a dark horse in the running if she makes the panel remember who she is.

Felicia - I don’t know what to say about her yet. I think she has a cute personality, but her picture was just too easy (pro-straight marriage). Nigel felt like she didn’t work it enough, but she got a really cute picture out of the deal.

Cassandra - I didn’t realize there were people in the world that are “Pro-meat” but that’s what she had to portray. Again, pretty easy if you’re not a vegetarian. I wish she had done a little bit more with the meat, but I guess it’s hard to concentrate when you’ve sewn your own weave into your head so you can flip your hair like Tyra. I shit you not.

Anyway, brand new episode on tonight where it looks like they model at a high school and someone has a wardrobe malfunction. If you don’t check it out, I’ll check it out for you!

Will wonders never cease....

I cooked ziti last night. No really… and it was actually kind of good! Granted, I used too much meat and probably too much cheese to make it an official Weight Watchers recipe, but it still hit the spot and I’m not even a huge fan of ziti! My cooking confidence is growing by leaps and bounds.. ok.. maybe not leaps and bounds. More like.. the steps of an ant.. but they’re steps in the right direction!

I got my St. Patty’s Day t-shirt in the mail yesterday and it fits! Well, I assume it does. Actually, it looks big but my sister’s looked like it would only fit an infant so I’m happy that I don’t have to search for another shirt. Now I’m just waiting for my package to come from Amazon.com, which was mailed out yesterday. I’m anxious to give J. his DVD copy of SLC Punk, which we FINALLY watched last night. I’ve always like Matthew Lillard, idiotic as he can be, and I thought the movie was pretty funny. I loved the way he constantly addressed the camera with his off the wall narration, and the ending was not what I expected. I recommend the movie and think you’ll laugh your ass off for the majority of the time. You know, if you like that sort of thing.

Does it make me a loser if I’m sending back SLC Punk to get Step Up from Netflix?

Speaking of me being a loser, Grease 2 was on HBO this morning when I was getting ready for work. I considered calling in, as I only have it on VHS. What can I say? I adore that movie and always have. I just remember my cousins making me a tape of the soundtrack (that they probably did by holding a tape recorder up to the TV) and adding Madness and The Kinks to the end of it. Anyway, it was the entrance of Michele Pfeiffer into the Hollywood lexicon (at least in my eyes) and while it was a lackluster sequel, it still held my attention, some 20-25 years later (even though I still think “Let’s Do It For Our Country” should have never made the final cut). Plus, it had a song about bowling and a song about reproduction. Granted, I didn’t know what reproduction was when I watched it, but it was still funny.

I’m planning a big ANTM posting, so I’ll cut this one short. Here’s what you need to know: Artie Lang from the Howard Stern show will be guest starring on 6 episodes of Rescue Me this season; Joely Richardson will be back on Nip/Tuck (she never really left the show, just took a hiatus to take care of her ailing daughter back in England) and James Van Der Beek will play an NFL rookie on the new series “Footballers Wives.” Am I the only one that’s happy he’s getting back to his Jonathan Moxon roots? Anyway, I’ll catch ya back later on. Enjoy your day and hump away!!! (I couldn’t resist)

Finally, the weekend rewind!

I apologize again for being such a blog slacker as of late. I’ve either actually been busy at work, gotten really good at pretending I’m busy at work, or had little to blog about. It must be one of the first two.

Saturday was the bowling tournament you’d heard so much about. I believe I was 30 pins behind my sister after the first block of four games with a total of 791. Then I had a beer, ate lunch and sat in a car for forty minutes. It was all downhill from there. I bowled absolutely awful (my father and I tied the first game with a stellar 137) and bowled my way right out of the Top 5. It didn’t really matter to me as I had to do some figuring regarding the jackpots that I was in charge of, so not having to bowl in the Baker System final (each team has five bowlers, each of which bowls two frames) was actually better for me. I got done, had a few more beers and cheered on my team. After the bowling was done we went to the Elks Club for dinner. I had a great time! I used to bartend at the Elks Club while I went back to school for my paralegal degree so it was nice to see everyone again. They actually asked if I’d be interested in coming back to bartend and I might take them up on it. I mean.. it would suck to take time out from when I normally see J. (Saturday nights) but they’re pretty good to me tip-wise and it’s not a really hard job, nor do they stay out too late. It’s a rarity if I’m there past 11 or 12. More on that to come in April when the changing of the guard occurs. Anyway, I was rip roaring to go out Saturday night but my sister was the voice of reason (even more of a rarity) and said I certainly didn’t need to go out, nor did I want to. She was right. I was so happy to hit my bed when I got home. I called J. real quick (thank god he didn’t answer) and passed out the second my head hit the pillow. I had a second heartbeat in my head when I woke up at 7 am but it was basically gone when my dad called at 10 am. A slice of pizza and a shower later, Tre were on our way to our friend Nancy’s baby shower. She’s having twins so it wasn’t just a normal baby shower, it was two times the presents. The food in general was pretty good, but the macaroni and cheese was to die for! Kozel’s should definitely put it on their menu. Nancy is HUGE (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) and she did a good job of getting through all the presents. Then again, she was probably way more uncomfortable than anyone else and just wanted to get into her sweats and back to her house!

Things have been pretty quiet since then. Tonight I plan on making ziti for dinner. J. always goes to his brother’s on Monday nights and I happened to ask what he was having for dinner over there (sometimes he brings it, sometimes his sister-in-law cooks), and what was his answer? Yep… ziti. That figures. He said he didn’t care if he had it two nights in a row and I already had everything so I figured I’d make it anyway. As usual, if it sucks, we order pizza. I think it’ll turn out ok. It seems like kind of a no-brainer (famous last words) so I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m determined to watch SLC Punk tonight also. I’ve had it for practically a month and we haven’t gotten around to watching it. He insists that if we watch it in bed, I’ll fall asleep and if we watch it on the couch, he’ll fall asleep and I’ll get mad (I do hate it when he falls asleep during the movie, but he’s already seen it so I wouldn’t be THAT upset). Anyway, this all is because I fell asleep watching Crank last week. What he doesn’t understand is that I had stayed late at work last Monday night, was on my feet all day last Tuesday with the closing and had gotten up early on Tuesday morning to go to the gym. Therefore, I was a little more tired than usual. Unless he comes up with something better we WILL watch the movie and I’ll have another one by the weekend.

Gossip… I’ve been slacking on that too, haven’t I? Not much has been going on in the land of Hollywood! Joel Madden of Good Charlotte has been accused of roughing up a female paparazzo(?), which isn’t real surprising considering TMZ had footage of him stiff arming another member of the paparazzi to get them away from girlfriend, Nicole Ritchie. Apparently there’s lots going on at American Idol and Rosie O’Donnell wants to get in on the action. She’s basically accusing the show of being “weightist and racist” as it kicked off former contestant Frenchie Davis for breast baring shots, when Antonella Barba (cute and white) isn’t getting the same kind of treatment. Considering Frenchie’s shots were for a job and Antonella’s were (supposedly) on her personal computer, I guess there is a difference, but I’m curious to see how the Idol people spin this into their favor. And oh yeah.. Frenchie actually had a shot at winning. I can’t say the same about Antonella but she will be googled for months to come and isn’t that what having your 15 minutes is all about?

I’ll try to post my comments on Heroes sometime tomorrow and of course, America’s Next Top Model as I finally managed to watch the whole show. Let’s just say it’s gonna be a bitchfest and that is why I love Tyra Banks, jiggly or not!

Moment of Truth

Over the weekend, the knocker-upper left his wallet at the Elks Club, where the final dinner for Saturday night’s tournament was held. My father took it and gave it to me so I could give it back to him. I opened it, and found a picture inside. It was of him, a girl (who’s prettier than me) and a young child. I looked at it for a second, then closed it. I wondered if there was ever a picture of me in that wallet. I am pretty sure there wasn’t. I have no right to be jealous and honestly, I’m not. Her having a kid alone is enough to waive all the jealousy I WOULD have! I’ve been over him and our relationship for a year now (give or take) but that doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt to know they’re over you. I now know what he felt like when I started going out with J. Ok, that’s not true because it’s not the same as he still harbored intense feelings for me at that time. I don’t feel that way towards him so I guess it’s purely selfish on my part. I mean, who doesn’t like getting compliments every day? Jason always told me I was beautiful whether I had just come from the gym, had bed head, or was headed out for a night on the town. J.’s not much of a compliment giver, although instead of cringing he does laugh at my insane bed head (I figure any guy who wakes up next to me in the morning and doesn’t walk away is a keeper). Does it hurt me that he doesn't say it? Of course it does! A woman needs to hear it every once in a while, whether it’s the truth or not. But 14 times a day? That gets old. I admit, I got spoiled by that with Jason (so I thought) but as time wore on it grew tiresome and annoying. I never thought I'd want the compliments to go away, but they need to and I'm glad the time has come. I’ve moved on and am happy with the choices I’ve made. J. is everything Jason isn’t, and I’ve realized that is what I needed in my life.

This all started with a conversation I overheard Jason having with a friend of ours on Saturday. We ended up bowling on the same lane (which is nice because he usually tells me which way to move when I’m doing really poorly) so we spent the entire day together. Anyway, I went to sit down after bowling and he’s talking to our friend about something and I keep hearing the word “upgrade.” It doesn’t take me long to realize he’s comparing me and the new girlfriend (he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed so the code wasn’t really working). I turned around and said “if you think I’m not going to realize you’re talking about me 1) you’re dumber than I thought and 2) you might as well resign yourself to the fact that you’re never going to upgrade from me. I was the best you’ll ever have and any other woman in your life should thank me for breaking you in.” He was dumbfounded and just walked away. I was dumbfounded and a little hurt that he was basically saying that right in front of me. I’ve never thrown my relationship with J. in his face, even avoided having J. come to the bowling alley so things wouldn’t be awkward and this is the thanks I get? I don’t think so! I could give a shit if you’ve got a new girlfriend, but don’t sit there and say that she’s better than me, especially right in front of my face. Well, at least he’ll have someone else around to play with his new baby (yeah… that’s not a regret I have). Anyway, it really got me to thinking about our relationship and how it hasn't been fair of me to let him go along with is as long as he has. Granted, there isn't much I could do about it. He was going to love me regardless (God knows why), but I definitely could have made it harder for him to do so. It's just really difficult to know you've been replaced as the goddess of someone's world. That pedestal is a really long way up and it's gonna feel pretty shitty when you're pushed off it, whether you love the person or not.

This post was so much better when I was putting it together in the shower. It was so much more eloquent and witty.

Welcome to Moviefone!

My sister and I watched Sherrybaby on Friday night. It was a pretty decent movie, but one of those where you cringe because you know exactly what your lead character is going to do, even though it’s so the wrong thing! Maggie Gyllenhaal plays a woman fresh out of jail, whose main goal is to get back the daughter that has been living with her brother and sister-in-law since she went in. When she gets out, you find the sister-in-law is basically telling the daughter not to call Sherry “mommy” as she feels she’s the more capable mother. Oh yeah, and we also find out her father molests her, but that storyline doesn’t go anywhere, even when her brother sees it with his own eyes! Sherry basically bangs everyone in sight and shows her boobs (which aren’t that great) way too much, along with relapsing into a heroin addiction. Eventually she starts to make the right decisions, but you know it’s going to be a long and hard road ahead of her. It’s a good movie, but if you’re looking for a feel good flick, you’re in the wrong place! If you’ve seen Hysterical Blindness, you understand what I mean about this movie being cringe worthy. I literally can’t watch Uma Thurman be so pathetic when it comes to Justin Chambers (Karev on Grey’s Anatomy). So much so, that I usually turn it off when it gets that far. It’s the same kind of feeling you get when Sherry sees a guy. ANY guy.. you know she’ll do the wrong thing and you don’t know whether to hit her over the head or feel bad for her.

J. and I went to see The Number 23 last night and we both enjoyed it. On a high note, he didn’t figure out what was happening until the very end, so I was finally able to hold a movie over his head as he’s done to me COUNTLESS numbers of times in our relationship! Anyway, Jim Carrey plays Walter Sparrow, an animal control officer who comes in contact with a mysterious book regarding the obsessive values of the number 23. Coincidentally, I was born on 8/15, which adds up to 23 so I admit I was a little more intrigued than most. Anyway, I don’t want to give the movie away but he basically spends the movie lapsing into his own obsession over the number and why it has driven people to kill or die. Maybe you’ll see the ending coming, but I thought it was fleshed out pretty well. One guy at work said he didn’t think it was enough of a story to base a movie on, but I was never bored and was anxiously awaiting the true story behind the book and the obsession. I think it was worth seeing as it was both suspenseful and funny. I’m a fan of the non-comedic Jim Carrey so maybe I’m biased, but since he managed to throw some good one-liners in there it should be entertaining for just about everyone.

Tomorrow I should be receiving “Snakes on a Plane” from Netflix. Why? I think one day it will be a cult classic and it’ll be fun for me to force J. to watch it, since he REFUSED to see it at the movies. I mean, who doesn’t want to hear Samuel L. Jackson talk about “mother fuckin’ snakes on a mother fuckin’ plane?”

Monday, Monday

It was a busy and drunken weekend and there's so much to blog about that I just can't pick one thing. Therefore, I hope to be able to post something monstrous later on tonight. Keep your eyes peeled and I apologize for not giving you any eye candy or entertaining stories from the weekend. They're coming. I promise! I saw a couple of movies this weekend so I'll try to review them for you before the day is over.

Working for the Weekend

Not much time left for me.. I’m a short-timer here today, and I’m loving every minute of it! I’ve been pretty busy and have only now found some real downtime in which to make it look like I’m working and blog at the same time. It’s a gift people.. not everyone has it. Anyway, here’s the haps for the day:

It seems Angelina Jolie has gone through the motions of adopting a baby from Vietnam. She and Brad Pitt were there back around Thanksgiving and they toured quite a few orphanages during their stay. I give her a lot of credit for doing it, as adoption seems like it would be a lot of work. I just find it interesting that two people with such huge careers find the time to have four children! I know people who work part-time or stay at home and still are unable to pull shit together. Then again, they don’t have the money and help the stars have. Anyway, congratulations to the new Jolie-Pitt child. You are one of the four luckiest kids in the world (so far).

Peyton Manning is hosting Saturday Night Live on March 24th, his 31st birthday. I love me some Peyton Manning, but I can only imagine what train wreck this will be. I really don’t like it when people who aren’t actors host, as it’s obvious they’re looking at cue cards and they usually suck. However, I do enjoy Peyton in his television commercials, so maybe he’ll prove me wrong and have some slight acting chops. Guess we’ll have to wait and see, but I can certainly think of worse ways to ring in your birthday!

John Ratzenberger, best known for playing Cliff Claven on Cheers, will be replacing Vincent Pastore on Dancing with the Stars. It seems Cliff might actually be a decent enough hoofer and I hope he is, as he only has two weeks to prepare for the first show. He will inherit Pastore’s mentor, Edyta Sliwinska, who I believe was paired with Joey Lawrence last season. That can’t hurt! He could get the sympathy vote from the older generation as the young kids won’t have a clue who he is! Now, I’m intrigued. I would love to see Cliff Claven twirling around the dance floor, mopping it up with Ian Ziering and Joey Fatone. Wouldn’t that be amazing!?

Now, I don’t watch Nashville Star but I found this story to be interesting.

I’m not even going to touch the Katherine Heigl contract negotiations, mainly because it seems like she’s contractually obligated to the show for quite some time so there isn’t much to say except, ooh.. that girl is PISSED!!!

I finished the book “Dear John” by Nicholas Sparks at lunch today. I usually don’t read the weepy page turners, but I like the movie “A Walk to Remember” and everyone says Sparks is a great writer. I have to admit, I really liked the book. It was an interesting story in this time of war, mainly about love and loss and I recommend it, even if it’s not the kind of book you would usually read. I went online and ordered “My Friend Leonard” by James Frey and the book “Vengeance,” which tells the story of the terrorists from the Munich Olympic bombings. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m so ridiculously intrigued by that whole situation and I’m trying to read everything I can on it. I saw a great documentary and really enjoyed the movie. The last book I read was from the POV of the athletes, while this one seems to be from that of the actual terrorists. Good stuff.. I also ordered J. a DVD copy of SLC Punk. He only owns it on VHS which is why I had to get it on Netflix in order for us to watch it (which we have yet to get around to).

Tonight is bowling, and again all day tomorrow. I’ll be plenty tired once that night ends, and since I’m sure I’ll have a lot of drinks in me also, I should sleep well! I was supposed to go to a party at J.’s brother’s tonight but I was able to back out. If you remember correctly, the last party I went to at his brother’s was not even slightly fun for me, as I was basically left alone the whole time. I mentioned that to him about this one and he just said that last time there were lots of people and family he hadn’t seen in a while and he was really drunk (not that it’s an excuse) but that is why I was left alone. Anyway, this seems to be just a small gathering of friends and significant others but I plead my case and don’t have to go. By the time I even get there it’ll be 10:00 and my father is picking me up in the morning around 8:00 to bowl. I don’t think getting hammered and having to get up extra early to get home and shower is a great idea. Luckily, J. agreed so I only feel slightly guilty for missing it. He doesn’t ask me to do stuff with his friends that often (he insists it’s because there rarely is anything they do together that I would enjoy) so I feel bad when I can’t make it. I’m like.. phantom girlfriend!! So instead, I plan on going home after bowling (and hopefully winning some cash) and watching either Four Brothers or Sherrybaby; whichever my sister is in the mood for, as she’s my partner in crime tonight. Then it’s off to bed, with my electric blanket on and hopefully no late night phone calls! Hope you all have a great weekend and try to stay dry!!!