I really hope all this is a joke, cause if not, there are some issues to be attacked in therapy:



It has been a REALLY bad week for ex-O's steroid abusers. First Tejada and now my favorite player that spits at umpires, Roberto Alomar.

Seriously? Looking like Joba Chamberlain got him laid? This is an example of what happens when people screw someone just because of their name... and a not so cute someone at that.

Speaking of ugly, Mandy Moore is engaged to Ryan Adams.. I bet she's attracted to his talent..

I know, I shouldn't be calling people ugly, but I'm single on Valentine's Day and I have the right to be slightly bitter. It's what we do..

We're in the finals of Top Chef (and thankfully Leah went, albeit a week too late), so eventually we'll have another show to whet our appetite.

It's finally official! Rescue Me returns to FX on April 7th and will get me through the summer, with the season finale airing on September 8th. I'm also happy to say that the show has already been picked up for an 18 episode 6th season. Now if only I could get them all on DVD. I think it's the only show (besides Sports Night) that I really feel like I need to own in its entirety.

The pairs for Dancing with the Stars have been announced and they are as follows (and not quite what I thought they'd be):

• Former NFL star Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska
• Actor Gilles Marini and two-time DWTS champ Cheryl Burke
• Rapper Lil’ Kim and season seven champ Derek Hough
• Actress Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
• Pop star Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts
• Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and season six champ Mark Ballas
• Reality star Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer
• Rodeo star Ty Murray and first-time Dancing pro Chelsie Hightower
• Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff
• Country singer Chuck Wicks and two-time champ Julianne Hough
• Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell and Tony Dovolani
• Actor David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson
• Singer Jewel and first-time Dancing pro Dmitry Chaplin

Ok... first of all, we all know how much I LOATHE Karina Smirnoff, but good lord that girl sure does get the shit end of the stick with partners, doesn't she? I'm afraid I won't be able to cheer for my favorite girl, Edyta Sliwinksa though. I wish they'd put Karina with Lawrence Taylor and then all would be well in my world. I'm REALLY excited about Chelsie Hightower and Dmitry Chaplin coming on as pro's. What can I say? I'm a So You Think You Can Dance geek and I adored Chelsie so much. Dmitry was on the first season that I've actually never seen in its entirety, but if I recall, he's kinda hot and that always helps. I feel a little bad for Chuck Wicks, as he's gonna get his ass kicked by his own girlfriend who has a pretty good track record on the show. And finally, my girl Lacey. I don't think she'll have as much luck with Steve-O as she did with Lance Bass. I mean.. the gays watch DWTS. I'm pretty sure the Jackasses do not!

Happy Birthday to my friend Amy, who's hopefully basking in the Arizona sun on this lovely Valentine's Day! Tonight we're doing a family V-Day/B-Day get together, as my cousin and her man are in town from Florida and tomorrow is my cousin Lindsey's birthday. That, and it seems very few of the family had real V-day plans... So instead we'll probably just eat pizza, drink beer and make fun of each other instead. Ah... family! :)

I no longer know what to believe.

Wish I had more to report on my life, but unfortunately, that's not the case... At least not yet. Therefore, enjoy your V-day and your weekend (and for you teachers, your winter break you bastards), while I catch up on my TV watching!