TV - where should I begin. The usual suspects got booted from our favorite Wednesday night reality shows. Mario and Emmit are the last men standing on Dancing with the Stars as Joey and his shiny head got the boot. We all know I don’t love anything more than a bald man, but I think those two are the most deserving. However, I did catch the “Footloose” number last night and when I wasn’t marveling at Lisa Rinna’s abs I was thinking that maybe Willa Ford should switch careers and go into ballroom dancing. She certainly has the body for it and is relatively talented. I have a feeling there have been LOTS of extra practice sessions between her and hunky Maksim, am I right? I know my mother is happy with the final two because she actually called me the other night and confessed to finding her first black man ever attractive, and that man is Emmit Smith. I think it’s just cause he’s so damn charming and has a surprising amount of rhythm. He’s paired with last year’s winner so I’m curious to see how it turns out. Congratulations and best of luck to both Mario and Emmit. I’m pretty sure I put Mario in the final two from the get go but I’ll wait until next week to pat myself on the back. In all honesty, I’m happy with whoever wins.On to America’s Next Top Model. Apparently, no one on this show feels like they have to work for it anymore which surprises me after the untimely demise of AJ. As much as I don’t like Melrose, that bitch is working it 110%. She’s taken some pretty beautiful pictures and is ready to do whatever they ask her to win. The bottom two were Michelle and Anchal. Not really all that surprisingly, Anchal was the one to go. Whenever they do the challenges in front of the judges she seems to give up or feel silly and considering her body (which is fine to me) is bigger than the other girls, you knew it was only a matter of time before they’d kick her to curb. I can’t say I’m going to miss her whining and negative energy. I think we got through a whole episode where Jaeda didn’t complain about her hair, but next week is a new challenge! Michelle actually did win the challenge and picked three friends to go on a shopping spree with her. Little did she know, whoever grabbed the most items would win EVERYONE’S times… and the dumb bitch picked Melrose to be in on it with her. Needless to say, Melrose won and I would bet the farm that she wasn’t grateful enough to Michelle for giving her that opportunity to give her a shirt, or even a handbag in appreciation!
I’m so enthralled with Top Chef.. again, not because I like the food, but the drama is just as good as Project Runway. Last night their quickfire challenge was to make something I can’t pronounce with ingredients they could only get from a vending machine. Everyone was given $10 in quarters and told to go at it. I was actually quite amazed at some of the things they came up with, except for Michael who basically crushed up snickers and phallically placed a Cheeto on top. He was reprimanded for “not seeming to care” and I can’t say I don’t agree. Anyway, Carlos won the challenge with some loafy thing and he has immunity. The real challenge breaks them up into four teams and (lo and behold) Betty and Marcel are on the same team. God did that look staged! But anyway, they try to put aside their differences and team up with Frank. The challenge is to put together an appetizer, entrée and I think a dessert… all under 500 calories total! They are going to serve it to some kids at Camp Glucose, which I’m assuming is for overweight and/or diabetic kids. Sam thinks he has it in the bag, being diabetic himself. Anyway, they get their ingredients and must pass everything through a nutritionist. The black team makes pizza, a child’s favorite so regardless of how crappy it tastes, I’m pretty sure the kids are going to want it. I really don’t remember what the other teams made and honestly, it’s not that important. The pizza was the meal of the day and therefore, the black team won the challenge with Frank being the big winner as it was his idea. When the two teams up for elimination come out, the accusations start flying. Sam points out that “people” were carrying around olive oil (which apparently has 120 calories per squirt) and using it on the day of the challenge even though they weren’t allowed to deviate from the approved recipe. He didn’t name names, but Mia (who was not on his team) was quick to throw Betty under the bus by stating that she didn’t use Splenda in her cookies, but used sugar on game day instead. The judges were slightly floored by all the fur flying and went in to talk to all the chefs. Betty fessed up to her mistake and blamed it on a bit of miscommunication. She had some calories left over and thought it was ok to substitute. She really doesn’t seem like a brain surgeon or a vindictive bitch, so I’m going to give rhe the benefit of the doubt on this one. No one got voted off this week but the bitching went home with the chefs as they played the blame game for what seemed like HOURS. Even Josie threw down a bit, which is funny cause her team was never accused of anything! I doubt I’ll ever say this again, but I agree with Marisa in that it was pretty backhanded of Mia to throw Betty in and then not tell her she did it. I mean, it was pretty underhanded and fucked up of her to do to save herself, cause it looked like she had a pretty good shot of going home.
Ok.. the content of this post got away from me a little bit so I’m going to call it a night. I’ll give you a “coming attractions” of the weekend sometime tomorrow! Have a good one!
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