Tuesday is Reality TV Day

I couldn’t help but post this link that my friend (and ex-babysitter) Shell sent to me today. Now, we all know I am not a fan of celebrity babies (even though their pampered lives aren’t really their fault) but if they had any brains at all, this is probably exactly what they would say (ya know, if they could talk).

So, Richard Hatch is going to jail and appearing nude in an indie film. Explain to me why that is necessary (the nudity thing, not jail). I guess he’s the poster child for all money winners around the world. Pay your god damn taxes! I mean, it’s not like he didn’t make quite a bit of dough after winning Survivor on promotional appearances alone. He probably made the tax money within a couple of months! You’re an idiot, Richard. I believe he’s already shot his nude role which is too bad because prison would probably get him down to fighting weight. Then again, it’s not like he’s gonna try to fight off would-be anal sex predators (with anything more than a girly slap) so maybe it’s all for the best. Don’t look at me like that. He’s gay and more than likely enjoys anal sex. I’ve seen Oz and apparently most prisoners like anal sex too. I’m just spouting nonsense that I’ve learned from cable television. Give me a break!

Today is C. Thomas Howell’s wedding anniversary. 14 years, I believe. Anyway, that’s not the great part. What I enjoyed the most is what when I looked up his profile on www.imdb.com, he was listed as “child rodeo star.” Now, I don’t frequent the rodeo circuit unless you count the mechanical bull at the Columbia County Fair (which has been sorely missed, might I add) but I would love to know how good old C. Thomas parlayed that into a career playing Ponyboy Curtis. Regardless, congratulations to him for a marriage in Hollywood (kind of) that’s lasted more than it’s obligatory 15 minutes. Then again, I think he married a regular gal. That always helps.

I caught the majority of Bravo’s new show Work Out, which starts at its regular time tonight at 9. I’m not sure what to think of it yet. I would kill for any of the bodies on these trainers (one of whom has already outlasted her 15 minutes as a contestant on The Amazing Race), that’s for damn sure. The owner of the gym, Jackie, is an uberbitch but we all know I like that and it’s good television! She doesn’t have much of a personality but a girlfriend with a fiery temper. She’s also a biter…. OUT of the bedroom. That’s a little creepy but hey, everyone loves a bit of drama. I’ve never seen a woman pull off a Mohawk like Jackie does so I’m gonna give her a shot and see if she makes any of her trainers throw up on this week’s installment. There’s this one trainer, Brian who actually says “these are the hands of Michelangelo” referring to himself. Um, last I checked you weren’t really using your hands for anything but to feel up the slutty Amazing Race girl who has a boyfriend, but sits on Brian’s face at a moment’s notice while there are clients in the gym. But hey, who am I to judge other people’s relationships!? What I’m trying to say is that I hope Brian gets fired and that the cute, new gay trainer kicks his overly masculine ass. Then screws him in it. OH shoot.. that was mean and I apologize. What is up with me and the ass references today?

Speaking of asses, I caught the Real Word/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat last night. While my favorite retard Wes didn’t get in the Exile, he did try to help Eric and Katie win by giving them some insider insight, which blew up in his face. Katie can’t walk two feet without hacking up a lung from the cigarettes perpetually attached to her face and Eric is… well… he’s a big boy. Kenny is in great shape and Tina, well… if her legs moved as fast as her mouth they’d win in a landslide. But anyway, I was in and out of a Nyquil induced haze so forgive me if this synopsis isn’t complete, but both teams busted through the puzzles which allowed them to drop their bags (extremely helpful for Eric and Katie who packed about 60 or so pounds more than Tina and Kenny) and even though they forgot the flag, Tina and Kenny were able to pull it out by a considerable margin. The look on Wes’s face when they showed up at the door instead of his beloved Katie and Eric (who he would have backstabbed if they had made it back) was priceless. I think his little Mohawk fell just a tad that day…. or maybe that was the Australian humidity. Who knows?

I have every intention of going to the movies tonight, but my one friend wants to go to the late show. I know it’s pathetic, but I really like going to bed whenever I fall asleep (usually shortly after 10) instead of forcing myself to stay awake. I mean, I guess if the movie is good enough I shouldn’t have to force myself, but still. My throat is still killing me and nothing (but that Nyquil induced haze I mentioned earlier) is helping. I’m not sure what (if anything ) we’ll see tonight, but I narrowed it down to the following: Lady in the Water; You, Me and Dupree; My Super Ex-Girlfriend and Clerks II. If there’s anything to review, you know I’ll do it.

Oh yeah... the Orioles are attempting to play baseball tonight. It's a pretty good bet that there will be no significant trades before the deadline which means lots of fun in the offseason (we can only hope)!

Time for (yet another) cake party for an office birthday. My birthday is the next one so everyone is probably depressed cause it’ll be like… three weeks before we have cake again. We might go into withdrawal! It was carrot cake - no cake for me!!!

PS - I couldn't find a picture of my man, Alex Trebek to post but let it be known that if Ken Jennings has any more disparaging remarks to make about him, I will throw down. You do NOT accuse Alex of being a robot and bad mouth him. Without Jeopardy you'd be nobody! Ok, wait... you ARE nobody, but a nobody with a lot of money and you have my man Alex to thank for that. Don't bite the hand that feeds you Ken...

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