Yesterday my gynecologist’s office called me to reschedule my annual appointment. Now, annual appointments are hard to come by, so much so that you make the one for next year at this year’s appointment. So, the scheduler says to me “Dr. Joyce can’t be here for your appointment on Friday (which I thought was next Friday so thank goodness she called). She doesn’t have anything open until April. My response: “that really isn’t sufficient.” So then she asks if I’m ok with having a nurse practitioner do my exam. Let’s put it this way, I really don’t care who does it as long as it gets done and they send me out the door with a new prescription! So, I said yes but the next appointment was January 4th, which would have screwed with the prescription I so desperately need. The next thing out of her mouth is “Ok… how about tomorrow at 11:30 with Dr. Joyce.” Why in the name of God was making an appointment so hard if there was one the following day for you to give me? Whatever, I got an appointment and prepared myself adequately.
So, I head over there this morning and am there in plenty of time for my 11:30 appointment. They take me in to weigh me and take a urine sample (I drank water all morning to prepare. I hate getting there and not being able to go). I then sit in the waiting room for about 10 minutes with nothing to read but Parents, Conception and some other magazine. Somehow I find a Biking Magazine (which is ironic, as I hate riding a bike) and settled in with that until they called me into the room. They bring me into the room and tell me to take everything off and give me that very flattering gown and a gown like blanket to throw over my legs. That takes all of a minute to do. I then sit in the room, practically naked, and read an issue of Details Magazine… the WHOLE issue. Granted, I read fast, but what I’m saying is that I was in the room for a good 15 minutes before anyone came in. I won’t go into detail over the exam but am I the only one that lies to their gyno? I mean.. little white lies, like when she says “condoms?” you say yes, because you do use them, but maybe not every time and she didn’t ask if you use them every time now did she? She gets done with the exam and realizes she forgot to take a culture (which I call “the infidelity culture” as she likes to do it when you tell her you just started dating someone or just got out of a bad relationship) and has to basically start all over again. She found humor in it by telling me I got two exams for the price of one and everything looked just as it did the first time. She then follows it up with a rectal (which I’ve been told is not something every doctor does.. apparently just mine - again, lucky me), leaving me uncomfortable, used and kinda slick if you know what I mean! I’m handed the wipe and two tissues and considering the doctor and nurse are both women, I can’t believe they think that will be enough. Anyway, I clean up, get out and make my next appointment…. December 31st of next year. Happy New Year to me!!!!
Yeah… I apologize for the detail in the gyno rant, but I warned you it would happen. As you can see, not much is going on in this neck of the woods. It’s dance night and if it’s anything like last week, I’ll be leaving early. My teacher’s daughter had a baby so she wasn’t there and there was a substitute in her place. The substitute was this really nice girl, who looked like she was about 12. She knew WAY more than me and was trying to teach us new things. I’m 30 and not headed to Broadway anytime soon. I don’t really need to learn new things.. I just want to dance! So, I feel bad because I was kind of a bitch but she kept making us do turns (I almost threw up) and go one by one across the floor. I’m sorry, I’m so way past that phase of my life and I had a horrible headache and I just wasn’t in the mood. Tonight better be different, let’s put it that way. Granted, I probably won’t do anything, but it certainly doesn’t make me want to go back and that is so not the relationship with dance I have! Anyway, looking forward to heading to Sue’s and sitting in front of the fire until we have to hit the road. Then I’ll head to J’s as I won’t see him all weekend since I’m headed to NYC on Saturday for the day with the girls. Plus, I can get to his house in time to see Grey’s Anatomy, although I think it’s repeat tonight. Guess someone will be in bed early and maybe I can get to work early so I can get out early. Do you see a trend?
Ooh.. I almost forgot! Caridee (my pick) won America’s Next Top Model by overtaking Melrose (and stepping on her dress) in the final runway walk which consisted of the girls being “ghost brides” and walking through a cave. I have yet to see the episode but if I have more to say, you know I will! Frank got booted from Top Chef last night and I have yet to watch that either. From the looks of it, his dish was really the most deserving and he knew it. But the bottom three were Cliff, Sam and Frank. I guess they had to make breakfast for a group and didn’t have ovens.. Frank’s quiche REALLY needed an oven.. Again, once I watch it, I’ll update you on my thoughts. I was unable to watch my shows last night because J. forced me to go out to dinner and watch Hot Shots, as I’ve never seen it. I don’t know.. spoof movies kind of irritate me. I can see why they’re funny but maybe that’s just not my sense of humor. Granted, I liked Spaceballs, but Hot Shots didn’t really do it for me. J. (as usual) fell asleep the minute the movie came on so I didn’t feel bad about taking quick cat naps through it… Anyway, hope you had a good one and revel in the fact that tomorrow is Friday!
1 comment:
Haha! The scheduler at the gynecologist's office was funny! She should've told you about the open appointment on the next day before saying those unnecessary schedules. Anyway, are you still going to your annual appointments? Well, you should! Because it's important to have "it" checked, even annually. Sometimes, women care about their's too much that they actually don't know what they're up to.
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