Underestimation

J is coming to my house... I understimated him and I'd apologize, if it didn't totally cramp my style.

Ok.. boring job stuff to come.. A few months ago I took the state legal assistant 2 exam in Kingston. It was my first state test so I didn't really expect anything to come of it. Well, I got my results about a month ago and did relatively well on it, especially for a first timer. Again, didn't expect anything to come of it. Anyway, last week I got a questionnaire and application in the mail asking if I'd be interested in interviewing for a Legal Assistant 2 position in the Attorney General's Office. These letters are NOT offers (they say that about 100 times), but just a little note checking to see if you'd want to interview if they deem you worthy. It's at least 8 grand more than what I'm making now and great benefits, so I sent the questionnaire back with all my info. I was telling my mom about it and she happens to know a woman who's worked in the AG's office for like.. 30 years, so my mom asked her about the jobs and she said there are at least two in the AG's office and many around the state. Apparently they're doing a mass hiring of sorts. I had written down May 1 as a start date, just so I could be sure whether I had been accepted at HVCC for the x-ray program or not. However, my mom convinced me to push it to April 1 to give me a chance at even getting interviewed. So, she got me the name of the guy to call to change it and when I dropped my mom's friend's name, his voice sure did perk up. Never a bad thing to know someone on the inside, albeit through six (or so) degrees of separation.

So, I'm having wicked guilt about even submitting my information. I know I shouldn't, I mean, you have to look out for yourself first of all. I just really don't want to let down my boss. I know how good I have it there, but she really doesn't need me. I wish she did, but it's just not the case. I feel like more of a financial burden than a help, and it makes it hard to get through the days. To be honest, I think she knows it too, but would never have the heart to let me go, which I appreciate. I really do think that if I lay it out for her, she'd be ok with me looking for another opportunity, especially one with the state. That, and I would be more than willing to do some stuff on the side to help her out. I did that for her originally and it worked out really well. Now it's just a matter of timing, as she's my biggest asset when it comes to a reference. Do I tell her when I get an interview? I don't want to blindside her by accepting a position without warning her, know what I mean?

Ugh.. why is making money so god damn hard?