Letter to Lindsay Lohan

Dear Lindsay -

Cocaine may make you skinny, but skinny girls and jail don't mix. You're going to need all your pole dancing skills you learned for "I Know Who Killed Me" to ward off those jailhouse lovers you're going to have once you put on Paris's orange jumpsuit. Honey come on! You're a trainwreck and you're ruining the career your cuteness began. No one wants to hire a crackwhore (except maybe Suge Knight, but it sure as hell isn't for an acting gig, if you know what I mean). Buck up little cowgirl.. go to a REAL rehab facility where they don't let you out to go shopping and get rid of those toxic friends you've made. They only want to be around you for the celebrity anyway. The only reason you're less of a mess than Britney is because you don't have kids.... yet. Best of luck to my favorite TMZ camera whore.

Sincerely,

Kara

PS - Your mug shot was WAY better than Nicole's ;)