Oh, the mortification:

So, Saturday morning all eight of us girls are sitting on the beach, having a good time. Some were playing in the sub zero temperatures of the Atlantic Ocean, others laying on towels or sitting on chairs, trying to soak up some sun. I had just moved from my chair to my blanket, so I could lay out and tan a little when it feels like someone threw a stone at my eye (which were closed, thankfully). Kids were playing nearby so I wouldn't have been surprised, but if it had been them, it was a VERY good shot. Anyway, I turn to my friend Eryn and say "please tell me I got hit with a stone." The minute she started giggling, I knew that wasn't the case. Yep.. a seagull had shit on my eye. Luckily, not IN my eye, but still... I have shit on my face. Not only on my eye, but running down my cheek and on my arm. The bastard had really let it loose. And let me tell you, it hit HARD! Like I said, it felt like a stone had hit me.. I was thoroughly grossed out and everyone is trying not to laugh, but it's a little difficult to do so. I obviously can't see so I'm reaching for a towel or anything and begging Eryn to get the shit off my face and finally i just ran into the ocean and dove through the waves to get it off. I couldn't feel my body for about 15 minutes afterwards (the ocean was FRIGID) but it was way better than trying to wipe it off my body. Apparently, a bird shitting on you is supposed to bring good luck. I should have bought Lotto tickets.

To add insult to injury, there are these two ridiculously tan, skinny girls in bikinis a few feet away from us. I went over to my friends and said "listen... what kind of world is this where the bird shits on me, but leaves the skinny bitches alone? I can't wear a bikini (or won't.. as most people that shouldn't have on this beach, felt the need to do it anyway) so the least the bird can do is shit on them and not me." Further proof that God might not be a woman :)