Inter-species Erotica

I know it’s wrong, but I’m too exhausted to work. I even tried to take a cat nap in the ladies room, but it wasn’t as comfortable as one would think. Let me explain:

I had taken Friday off to prepare for the party and just get the house ready. We set up chairs, tables, decorated a slight bit and cleaned the interior of the house as best we could. I mean, what’s the point? People were going to be trudging through all day anyway so why waste my energy? I got a call from J. on Friday night so I went up to hang with him. We watched Hackers, my choice and one of my faves. What can I say? I have a soft spot in my heart for Angelina Jolie before all the hype. Anyway, no details for the masses, but things are going pretty well. We discussed the smoking thing and he’s gone to great lengths to not to it around me, if at all. I can deal with that for now. So, I got home kinda late Friday night and had to be up to get to my haircut by 9:30 Saturday morning. The rest of the day was spent preparing for the party and (believe it or not) COOKING! I made my mother’s homemade macaroni and cheese and it wasn’t that bad. I think I did quite good! I got compliments on it and if people only told me it was good because it was my birthday, well that’s fine too! Anyway, Saturday was the party and I think it was a great success. It was great to see some of my friends who aren’t local be able to make it (you know who you are) and have a good time! I can’t say I felt fabulous when the chimney people came to do some work around 11 on Saturday morning, but I wasn’t feeling terrible! Or so I thought. We did a lot of cleaning (and there is still cleaning to be done…. maybe tomorrow) and then I had to get out of the house to go to my ball game. I know, I’m glutton for punishment. So, it’s a beautiful day.. I’m sweating out alcohol and I had just eaten Wendy’s because it’s SUPPOSED to make me feel better. Yeah… I’m catching and halfway through the game I feel like that guy in Alien who has the thing come through his stomach. Not good. I manage to make it through the game and just want to go home and go to sleep but alas, J. calls to see if I want to come over and hang out. You all remember that honeymoon phase of the relationship where you’re afraid if you say no they’ll forget about you? Yeah… that’s where we are. So, I went home, took a shower and made it to his place by about 9ish… I got home around 1. Then got up to work on Monday. Oh no, it’s not over!

Monday night we went to see Clerks II (hence, the title of this post). HYSTERICAL! I love me some Kevin Smith and this movie is a noble bow to the first movie. You didn’t need to see the first one to like it, but it would help you to get some of the inside jokes. Two words: pillow pants. See the movie, read this blog again, and laugh your ass off. His wife is a terrible actress so she better never leave him cause I doubt she’ll get another job anywhere, unless it’s in the View Askewniverse. So I didn’t get home till 11 that night and had to get up early on Tuesday morning. I only worked from 8-12 because yesterday me, my sister and two of our friends went to the Yankee-Orioles game for mine and Tre’s birthday (which was yesterday - we’re 30 - oh good god). So, we left around 2 and had some road sodas.. then hit all the bars from our parking garage to the bleachers. We got in the bleachers and we were in the “family” section. Probably not a good idea. So, Tre, Jen and some douchebag Tre met go to see if they can get in the drinking section. Well, I had to go to the bathroom so when I come out, Jen tells me to stand where I am. This is because she managed to bribe an usher to let us into the drinking section. $5 per person later and there we are.. beers in hand. It’s not over though. This guy also got us seats right behind the foul pole in right field which was way better than our crowded seats out in center field. So, I got heckled by a Yankee fan who wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom, but when I got back I put him in a headlock (which he seemed to like) and harassed me in a funny way the whole game. It was fun! Thanks to the O’s bullpen (as usual) we lost 6-3 regardless of the solid outing from Erik Bedard. So, last night we didn’t get home until about 1:15 and I had to get up for work at 6:45. Since my alarm clock isn’t necessarily working quite the way I’d hoped (or at least I’m not sure how to make it work) I was kinda sleeping with one ear open anyway so I slept like shit. I made it to work, bloodshot eyes and all and thought everything was going ok. That is, until we went to lunch at our favorite diner. It’s a beautiful day so we sat outside and I had a cheese omelet. YUMMY! About an hour and a half after that, I get called by my friend Lacey and I walk into the kitchen to find everyone getting ready to have cake for my birthday. Lacey (good listener that she is) got me a cheesecake which was scrumptious, but now I’m languishing in the most obscene food coma the world has ever witnessed. One more hour here and I don’t know how I’ll deal. That, and tonight is our last regular season ball game. I might die. Oh yeah, and J. is coming down to watch a movie tonight… or watch me sleep cause that’s more than likely what will happen. Poor guy. So, luckily the minute he leaves I can go to sleep instead of drive home. That’s a plus, right?

So, there’s your explanation. A little compassion please!

The finale of So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight and they will finally unveil the winner of the prime spot in Celine Dion’s Vegas extravaganza.! I’m curious as to who’s going to win because I think everyone but Donyelle is worthy. Honestly, I think it’ll be Benji. I think he and Celine would get along tres magnifique! Tonight is also another episode of Project Runway and the cattiness is coming out. I wish I had more to say but my brain is like Bradley’s outfit from last week: shiny, but not worth much.

Thanks for being patient with me and hopefully I’ll be back on track after a night or two of sleep! Happy Hump Day!