This is an actual email I sent to my co-worker, just a few short minutes ago:

I'm going to slit my wrists with my dull scissors.. you'll probably have to take me to the hospital then we can both get the F out of here.. Course.. I probably won't be back till next week, what with the 5150 mental health hold they'll put on me.. but it might be worth it

Oh, the things you can learn from Britney and her mental breakdown!!!

Seriously.. it’s been the SLOWEST week already, and it’s only Tuesday.

TO make things interesting, once again Jason is kinda not speaking to me. We had a great weekend.. talking a lot, things were going really well. Sunday night I watched him bowl and as we were on our way home, someone’s name came up that I have “history” with (now.. I’m sure my minions can realize what I mean when I say history, but he wasn’t getting it) so he asked the dreaded question and I answered it honestly, thinking, “it was a long time ago and he and I weren’t together at the time so what’s the big deal?” Apparently, it WAS a big deal, since this guy will be on a boy’s trip with him in approximately three weeks. Call me crazy, but I thought honesty was the best policy as opposed to hearing about it from a drunk guy and being blindsided with the information. Anyway, he had his hand on my leg as we spoke, and quickly recoiled as if I’d just been struck down with leprosy. Oh yeah, it wasn’t pretty. Actually said “get out of my car” when he got to my house. I understand there’s an initial shock, but I hate to break it to you, neither one of us were virgins when we got together and we’re not now! I understand it’s going to be awkward for him to go on this trip and see this guy, but it would have been worse if it had come up and he didn’t have a clue. The more I think about it, the more I’m angry that he’s angry, so this morning I left him an angry voice mail which he promptly returned, amazingly enough! We talked a little bit and I tried to explain that I wasn’t telling him to make him jealous but he asked and I didn’t want to lie to him. I think he just had some issues with having that picture in his head and needs time to get over it. Hopefully he will. We didn’t get a whole lot resolved this morning, but at least I know there’s a possibility he’ll answer the phone when I call! I did tell him that he couldn’t just not talk to me for three days every time I do something he doesn’t like, especially since (technically) we’re not together.

If I could just have one un-drama filled relationship… I’d probably get bored ;)

The weekend was pretty good. We took our pregnant friend Kate out to dinner Saturday night (we missed her shower) to the Brew Pub in Troy (Brown’s Brewing Co.) Had a GREAT dinner there! We then hit up Quigley’s in East Greenbush, since no one wanted to serve four hot chicks with twenty dollar bills in their hands at My Place. Seriously.. it was unreal! Anyway, we ended the night at Meadowgreens where I was surprisingly "on" in beer pong. Sunday morning we took mom (and dad) to brunch at The Standard, which was really quite good. Spent some time in the mall and then put on jammies to lounge on the couch and try to catch up on TV. I got through two episodes of NCIS and two episodes of 90210, but that was it. I am seriously considering not leaving the house this coming weekend until I clean that baby out! Thank god my shows are ending, although some have just begun (THANK YOU VH1).

I caught up on Daisy of Love and that poor girl is sure having some trouble getting these guys into her, although you wouldn’t be able to tell from the massive make-out sessions that seem to be happening at ever turn. The second installment of Charm School started last night with lots of my Rock of Love Girls, but I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet. To quote my friend Tara “What a freaking train wreck.” YAY!!! I can’t wait..

I did manage to catch most of DWTS and it looks like Gilles has secured himself a spot in the finals, and hopefully so have Melissa and Shawn. I love Ty to pieces and he’s doing a great job, but he should have gone home last week and then it really would have been interesting to see who’d make it in to the final 3!!

Someone found a copy of the script for the Twilight Sequel “New Moon” in the trash and actually returned it, which makes her a better person than I’ll ever be!

I don’t know if anyone is even watching Dollhouse anymore, but you should have stuck around for the last two episodes. I actually gasped out loud when the identity of Alpha was revealed. I’m doubtful that it will get a second season, but if it was going to be anything like the last few episodes, I wish Fox would at least give it a shot!

If you want to find out where exactly they “paved paradise and put up a parking lot,” check out this site. It’s still in the beginning stages, but pretty interesting!

Ball game tonight (third Tuesday in a row!) and I’m supposed to go to the movies to see Sunshine Cleaning with my friend Lynn tomorrow night. She’s notorious for canceling, so I’ll believe it when she picks me up and not until then!

Enjoy your day and continue to try to live without me and my drama filled life. You can make up for it by checking out the Real Housewives of NYC reunion at 10 tonight (PS – the Bethanny-Jill conflict wasn’t quite as crazy as the previews for the finale made it out to be) and then continue tuning in to check out the first episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.. If you watch any Bravo at all, you already know they’re thick as thieves!!