TGIfrickingF

I usually jot down stuff I think of to blog about. This is what my post-it note said:

Paris Hilton (alcoholic shit for brains)
Nip/Tuck
Project Runway
Suri Cruise

Boring and already been done? Maybe. However, I’ve had a bit of a wretched week (albeit short) at work so I’m kind of reaching for straws when it comes to topics. Maybe I’ll think of more things to write about as the afternoon goes on. Today is the biggest TGIF I think I’ve ever had. I’m getting out a half hour early, thanks to the half hour extra I stayed yesterday (ok, 20 minutes, but if you round up it’s a half hour). I start bowling tonight. Considering my ex (ya know, the brain surgeon that knocked up the practically jailbait one night stand) is bowling in the league next to me, it should prove to be sufficiently awkward. So, more updates on how that goes. I’m really not all that concerned. If he has any balls at all he’ll try to say “hi” to me and I’m still not sure how that’ll go. I’ll probably be cordial. Depends on how the rest of the day goes. I’m looking forward to it, just the same. I love a good night of male torture and he is usually a very good candidate for that. Mean? Perhaps. Justified? Maybe not, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s my nature and I like to keep people on their toes.

J. is meeting my parents tomorrow. I’m insanely nervous. I’ve never had a bad experience with boyfriends meeting my parents, but it just stresses me out, as I’m sure it does with most people. My advice to him was to be nice to the dog (Murphy, the pug of all pugs and my parent’s third child) and to wear a shirt that doesn’t depict a naked female form. I think those were good ground rules, don’t you? We haven’t really had a chance to see each other too much this week because a friend of his just moved home from Hawaii (why?) so he left me a message yesterday asking if I would like Saturday to be like.. an all day thing instead of just dinner and a movie. It was kinda sweet that he thought of that himself. Yep, he’s doing ok. I still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do though. Maybe I’ll kick his ass at miniature golf. That could be fun. Or maybe we’ll just make out all day. That could be fun too. I’m a big fan of the makeout. I think it’s insanely underrated.

Ok… let’s get a move on. Paris Hilton was busted for DUI because she had to get an In and Out Burger. Um, I’ve never had an In and Out Burger (I don’t think… Amy correct me if I’m wrong as we did do the Fast Food Tour of Southern California back when we were in college) but I can pretty much guarantee her stomach has never seen a burger. If she’s had one before it’s probably because she ate it and subsequently threw it up. I mean, in the statement that’s all over the internet she states that she went to dinner with her sister and some friends before having that elusive margarita. So why didn’t you EAT at dinner, you moronic pinhead? I mean, come on. Nothing is going to happen to her but you have to enjoy seeing her in cuffs (oh yeah, like that’s a first). I mean, when you’re that rich, why are you even attempting to drive yourself somewhere? You pay people to do shit like that. Hell, I’d be her personal driver if the price is right! I'm not even touching the fact that she's a shit for brains. That's a given.

Project Runway: Haven’t seen the episode but have read countless recaps, which caused me to find one of my new favorite websites www.projectrungay.blogspot.com. If I knew how to put links up on my blog (yep… computer moron) I would put it at the top! I love the snark of gay men and fashion. Anyway, Vincent got off this week, but not the way I’m sure he was hoping for. God, he’s creepy. I really won’t miss him at all. Jeffrey won again, even though he had immunity so he could have sent ANYTHING down the runway. I didn’t like his dress on the Paris model but that girl in New York worked it! It looked great on her. I didn’t hate Kayne’s dress like it seemed everyone else did, but I think he could be the next to go. Also, I know the pregnant body is supposed to be beautiful and all, but I really don’t need to see Laura’s distended stomach as she’s designing. Keep it under wraps.. aura of mystery.. all that jazz. How pregnant is she? I mean, she looked completely normal two weeks ago and all of a sudden she’s six months along? I know women sometimes pop out all at once but did she not JUST find out she was pregnant? I don’t get it (and pretty much hope to never get it, if you catch my drift). Anyway, next week should be interesting and as usual, I’m anxiously awaiting the episode. We’re getting down to the wire kids! Although what I’m really looking forward to is the reunion show. Shit’s gonna go down my friends!

Nip/Tuck does not waste any time. I think the episode was on for 3.5 seconds before I saw Julian McMahon’s bare ass. (Thank you FX!!) I was pleased with the episode but I think Brooke Shields turn as his therapist was kind of pointless and why the hell was she letting him fuck her later? I mean… he’s your patient and you’re not getting your point across about meaningless relationships (and oh yeah.. his homo love for Shawn) by letting him screw your brains out. But hey… who am I to judge? I’d do him again… Also, the story line with the baby being handicapped… Don’t tell me Shawn isn’t thinking that he and Christian are the greatest plastic surgeons in the world and could probably fix his kid. I mean, is there a pink elephant in the room or what? (PS - I did doze off for about five minutes so that could have happened). Anyway, I’m glad the boys are back and I look forward to tons of drama and the return of Kimber next week. She might just bring the smackdown.

Screw Suri. We all know how I feel about celebrity babies but I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already. Leave the kid alone. You saw her, get over it. Lots of hair, cute and maybe Asian.

In response to my 80’s diatribe last week, I want to thank my loyal reader (and ex-babysitter) Shell for remembering that my Cabbage Patch Kid’s full name was Glynis Caroline. I have no idea why she remembers that (and neither does she) but she was right and if I had funding, I’d give her a prize. (Sorry Shell.. I’ll buy you a drink sometime?)

I’m a bad fan. I’ve been neglecting my Orioles. It’s late in the season and there really isn’t much we can do and they’re not on TV where I am so I get distracted very easily. I realized that today. I have a lot of work to do but I keep getting distracted by e-mail, web sites and the new music I put on my Ipod. For instance, right now I’m listening to Alanis Morrisette/Jagged Little Pill. I remember getting that CD my second year at Columbia Greene and seeing her in concert. It was a great show and I think my sister got drunk beforehand and threw up in the Burger King bathroom in Schodack which is where we ALWAYS used to stop on the bowling bus in high school. As coincidence would have it, that’s where the bowling team stopped that very night, making it kind of awkward. I think that’s the same night that Tracy came downstairs and asked where her prom dress was because she was DJ’ing a dance at the school (she wasn’t). What was I talking about in the first place? Oh yeah.. the O’s.. not watching but still love and still a loyal fan. I mean, look at those arms. GRRRRR.. Just waiting for Cal to get in the Hall and everything will be at peace.

Not much else going on as we speak so I’m gonna get a move on and try to make it through my weekend. If anything else good comes up, you’ll be the first to know.