Fuck You Robinson Cano

Are you shitting me? I mean... seriously! We have had nothing of substance this year to make it a great season and you're going to break up a no-hitter after 9 and 1/3 innings. And he's your buddy! You grew up in the same town and have known him for over ten years! I hate to break it to you Robinson, but that ONE hit made absolutely no difference.. You might as well have just grounded out like the rest of your oily bohunk buddies and made this guy's night and season. But no, you're a greedy son of a bitch and no one likes you. You're that guy, Robinson and NO ONE wants to be that guy (Unless you spark off a comeback win, which you didn't). That is all.

Snippets

Cal Ripken has been named the “Hometown Hero” for the Baltimore Orioles. Apparently he eked out the win over Brooks Robinson, who I also would have not been upset with had he won. However, Cal is the man (albeit not mine… I’m already in a shitty mood, let’s not make it go any further!) so it’s only right that he win. He did bring fans back to baseball. I kind of wish he’d have a Michael Jordanesque return from retirement because maybe then actual Oriole fans would fill the seats, rather than the opposing teams fans. Cal was on Mike and Mike in the Morning and he declared that it really is OK for men to watch Oprah, as it certainly helps with the women in your life. We all know my disdain for all things Oprah so I beg to differ, but if Oprah can bring Cal closer to me then I will surely do whatever it takes. Make this little white girl’s dream come true Oprah!!! Come on.. even a red-blooded, heterosexual man would admit that Cal is a nice looking guy. The eyes alone would make any women (present company included) melt. His cover of GQ in the 90's was insane (and yes, I do still possess a copy, even though I did NOT laminate it like some would believe.

I found this online today: “The 10 Songs You Were Probably Conceived To” by Blender Magazine. Gross, but entertaining.

Sue deleted The Office from her DVR so I threatened her with bodily harm if she does it tonight. The reason I’m in my bad mood is because I’m going to miss half of Grey’s Anatomy while I’m on my way home from dance class (not to mention My Name is Earl and The Office - SAVE ME FROM THIS PLIGHT MID HUDSON CABLEVISION). She did keep My Name is Earl so I’ll be checking that out in roughly an hour or so. Anyway, tonight is a good night for TV and I’m kind of upset that I can’t catch Ugly Betty. That’s a tough time slot and not enough room on my DVR so I think it’ll be thrown by the wayside. ER looks to be pretty interesting with the return of Sally Field and John Stamos. Is it just me or does that man get better looking as he gets older? I think it was the loss of the “Uncle Jessie” mullet. That was the kicker. Anyway, we’ll get to see if Abby and Kovatch’s baby lives and if Abby makes it. I mean, seriously. How much trauma can one person go through. They sure have screwed with Abby’s life enough, don’t you think? Let something be easy! Still, I’ll be glued to the TV set if I can stay awake that long!

I was a little bored at work today (still coming down from the hype of the last two days) so I thought I’d throw in a post for those of you who I’ve neglected. You know who you are.

TGIF!!!!!!!!

There's no day like Project Runway Day

NOTE: I tried to post this last night but blogger and/or my computer was being a big pain in the ass and I was distracted by Project Runway and ITunes so it might not seem quite as relevant as it was when I was writing it. But hey, it's still news to you, right? Speaking of news... there is no decoy. ALL the designers are still in the running to win Project Runway. Damn you Heidi Klum for making me think Michael was the decoy. Damn you!!!

It’s been a crazy busy couple of days. I was at work until 7:00 last night and was back in at 8 this morning. I’m telling you, this getting up while it’s still dark is a crock! No wonder I can no longer force myself to go to the gym in the morning. It’s dark and cold. Two things I am not a fan of! Anyway, I had a closing up in our Johnstown office today and it went pretty smooth, which was quite a relief. I’ve been bitching about my lack of training but luckily it doesn’t show through when I’m out of the office! It makes sense to me so just let it go.

Where do we start? I was unable to watch Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday night, but I did catch parts of the results show tonight. The judges really ripped Mario and Joey new ones, didn’t they? I understand that there are rules and yes, they do need to abide by them. But come on! It’s a television show, not an international ballroom dancing competition. Cut them a little slack. Apparently we’re going boy-girl on the eliminations and tonight was no exception. The bottom two were Harry Hamlin and Jerry Springer and unfortunately, Harry Hamlin had to go home. I mean, you know it’s because he doesn’t have the fan base of Springer but I felt bad for him. He’s really been improving every week and I feel bad that he won’t have the chance to show that. Don’t get me wrong, I love Springer as much as the next guy, but the man can’t dance. He’s old and lacks rhythm and no one knows it better than him… except maybe his partner. Well, there’s always next week! Jaeda should have gotten booted from America's Next Top Model but instead it was my girl Meg. I really liked her but she was just dead in the face and that's what mattered. I adore the makeover episodes because all these girls do is bitch! Jaeda got this gorgeous, short Halle Berry haircut and she looked beautiful. She didn't see that but whatever. These girls are on the show for their bodies, not their brains which makes me love the show even more. Already can't wait till Monique and Melrose "bring it" next week. I hope someone kicks Monique in her weave. Bitch deserves it.

I had to miss the show because I was at a jewelry party at my mother’s house. The brand is Lia Sophia and they have great jewelry. I’m actually going to have a party of my own in November. The jewelry seems kind of expensive, but it’s really nice stuff and it’s totally different to see it at the party rather than in the catalog. There were quite a few necklaces I wouldn’t have looked twice at, but seeing them on someone completely changed my view of them.

I was out of the office today so I’m not up on my normal dose of celebrity gossip but I’ll do the best I can. Reverend Run and his wife lost their baby. Justine’s pregnancy was the climax of the whole season of “Run’s House” and it’s a shame to have this personal tragedy happen to a crazy, but pretty nice family. Speaking of babies, Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith’s “lawyer” (yes, I put that in parentheses cause I’m pretty sure he never went to law school and she just doesn’t know any better) stated on Larry King that he is the father of her child. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, a paparazzo, Larry Birkhead (I think that’s his name, don’t quote me) has consistently stated that he was the father of her baby. I’m really not sure which of these douchebags is the loser and winner in this situation. Paris Hilton has officially been charged with DUI in the “I only had one margarita” incident from early September. God knows it won’t make a difference but I still find it funny.

This morning I was on my way to work (earlier than normal, might I add) and some girl kept brake checking me. I know I tailgate a bit, but she was really being a bit out of control. I wasn’t even close to her yet she flipped me off. It’s 7:30 in the morning.. why are you fucking with me? So, as I continued to laugh at her childish behavior I flipped through my XM radio until I landed on the 80’s station. The song that was on was “Dancing in Heaven” by Q-Feel. An 80’s one hit wonder you ask? But of course! However, I think that song is infamous as the song being played when Sarah Jessica Parker gets her chance to wow the judges on Dance TV. I never knew who sang that song and I think it’s now imbedded in my brain forever. For those of you that I email on a regular basis, you know that I always have a movie quote at the end of my emails. So, I usually just go through IMDB.com alphabetically and pick movies I like or think are funny. As luck would have it, today was Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! I mean, is that a perfect way to start your day or what? I’m not about to bust out the leggings or anything, but I do love the 80’s.

OMG – Uli stole Nazri right out from under Michael. It MUST be the last challenge. I wish Michael had let some of the “angry black woman” in him come out and bitch slap the hell out of Uli. Nazri is his girl!!! The shit is about to hit the fan and I’m so damn happy that I didn’t miss this episode! Good god I love Project Runway. I’m pretty sure next week is the reunion episode. Talk about shit hitting the fan! Keith thinks it’s a conspiracy and apparently Bradley cleans up REAL nice. I don’t know why he was hiding under all that hair and stubble. (Thanks to projectrungay for this awesome pic of Bradley and Amanda (the talkative model)Someone got themselves to a gym and it was a great move on his part! Enough! I have to concentrate cause something is going down after the commercial and I can’t miss it.

I need a day off

It’s been a very busy couple of days, hence, the lack of blogging. Anyway, let me see if I can update you on the haps of the last few days.

Friday night my friend Danny and I went to see Kathy Griffin at the Palace Theater. It was absolutely hysterical! This is the first comedy show I’ve ever been to and it was far from a disappointment. I’ve seen her comedy specials on Bravo quite a few times but this was way beyond compare. She skewered celebrities like it was no one’s business with brand new material that I had never heard of before. Granted, it’s been a pretty good couple months for celebrity news so that was helpful! Anyway, I highly recommend seeing her if you ever get the opportunity. Even if you don’t think you’d like her, I can almost guarantee you’ll at least let out a hearty chuckle. Unless you were the guy next to me who didn’t even crack a smile. Looks like someone was dragged to the show by his wife. That was a rarity though. The majority of the audience was gay men with a handful of lesbians. Running a distant third were the straight women who bought some sort of straight man with them. Mine was Danny and he laughed just as hard as I did!

Saturday was spent shopping and getting my Ipod fixed (yay)/ Apparently I had just disconnected it too early and the Ipod had saved my songs in a different configuration. So, the nice boy at the Apple store reset it to the factory settings and all I had to do was put all my music back on. Luckily, it was all saved in ITunes so it didn’t take me all that long. I now have music again and that makes me a very happy girl. I like being able to skip what I don’t feel like listening to. Makes my day go by.

Thursday night I missed My Name is Earl and The Office. Don’t rub it in, I already feel bad about it. I did get the two minute Office Recap on nbc.com (pretty handy) and it looked pretty funny. Although, Jim has to come back. It’s not Dunder-Mifflin in Scranton without him. Sue DVR’d this week’s episodes for me and she’ll do next week’s too (Thanks Sue) because mine and Tre’s DVR won’t be up and running until Saturday. Just a matter of time, thank goodness. What I did NOT miss was Grey’s Anatomy and apparently I wasn’t the only one. Take that CSI! Grey’s was a great episode and I only hope they can keep it up for the rest of the season. I bought the first season on DVD and watched half of it yesterday as I did some side work. Reminded me of why I love the show so much, even though they backstabbed me by screwing with my Sunday night.

Tonight I watched the series premiere of Heroes. I really enjoyed it! I’m still not sure what Ali Larter’s super power is so I guess I’m going to have to continue to watch the show. It was pretty interesting and from the looks of the trailer for the season, it looks like it’s only going to get better. Watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip right now. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I don’t hate it, but I can’t quite figure out if it’s something I’m going to be able to get into. Guess I should keep watching it so I can figure that out!

Ooh… Project Runway news: Apparently, Laura is accusing Jeffrey of outsourcing his sewing for his fashion line. Rumor is that when Tim Gunn went to see Jeffrey he was far from finishing his line. It miraculously was ready by the time of the runway shows. Apparently this is an issue that will be brought up in the finale. As if I wasn’t interested in the damn show enough as it was, now I can’t wait to see the finale and all the other shows leading up to it!

I’m kind of tired so this post probably isn’t quite as interesting as it could be. I’m in a slump, I guess. Speaking of slumps (what a segueway) Jay Gibbons, barely off the DL managed to hit a foul ball behind home plate and hit his own wife (who, by the way, is a beautiful woman. If you’ve seen Jay Gibbons, you can understand my shock and wonderment). I mean, what are the odds of that? The O’s just can’t catch a break. But at least the Yankees are the only AL East team to make it into postseason play. If there’s anything worse than Yankee fans, it’s gotta be Red Sox fans (at least since they FINALLY won the World Series).

Jewelry party at Mom’s tomorrow night and Law and Order: SVU. Now if only my day would go by quickly tomorrow it’ll be a perfect day. Oh yeah, and winning the lottery. That would help.

Neglect

I was in the middle of watching TV while I was posting last night and trying to get in my every thought, so some things got thrown by the wayside. I plan to remedy that as we speak.

Shanna Moakler was the latest victim on Dancing with the Stars. Like the poor girl isn't going through enough! Now the public has to boot her off the one thing that gets her out of bed in the morning, because if you've seen "Meet the Barkers" you know that even her kids and husband couldn't get her out of bed before 3 pm. Willa Ford was also in the bottom 2 and I have to admit that I feel sorry for her. She has been doing really well, but doesn't have the fan base the others have. They really should even out the contestants in terms of popularity. She'll probably be gone next week. I feel bad because you can tell she really wants to succeed but her 15 minutes just didn't last long enough for the fans to remember her. If she does well, I'll vote for her next week. Ya know, throw a dog a bone. OOH.. and in DWTS gossip, it seems Mario Lopez (when not showing his ass on Nip/Tuck, WHICH I missed because SVU started again) is dating his partner, Karina Smirnoff. Perhaps they'll be the next Lloyd Eisler and Kristy Swanson - minus the infidelity and impregnation. AC Slater already crossed that bridge.

Lacey came back from Hawaii this past week and bought me back these Big Island Candies. Well, they're actually cookies, Big Island Candies is the brand. Anyway, they are Hawaiian Macadamia Nut Shortbreaad Cookies dipped in caramel and chocolate. They are literally, a slice of heaven and I may eat the entire bag by myself today and NOT feel bad about it. Ok, that's a lie. I WILL feel bad about it, but I'll do it anyway.

Finally, for the 9th straight year the Yanks clinched the AL East with a loss to Toronto. Gotta love baseball! I'm so sick of the monotony but there' s not much I can do about it. Although, it seems there's going to be an entertaining protest at Oriole Park today. If I recall correctly, a local radio guy (who's uncle happens to be Hall of Famer Luis Aparicio) is staging a walk out to "free the birds" from the grips of Peter Angelos. Will it do anything? Probably not. Angelos is an asshole. But will it get attention? Absolutely! I can't wait to see if they show the minions leaving the park all at once. It'll be priceless and I wish I could be there and be a part of it. They're leaving the park at 5:08 (5 for Brooks, 8 for Cal). I will still be at work but I will be thinking about it, that's for sure!

It's almost Friday kids... Buck up little campers!

Never a good way to start the day

I had to go to the dentist today. I haven’t been to the dentist in three years. I know, that’s a very bad thing and I will never do it again, but I was in school and I didn’t have insurance so it was one of those things that got thrown by the wayside. It was excruciating and I have learned my lesson. I think I might be the one that calls the dentist in six months instead of vice versa. Only one cavity though. Not bad for a three year hiatus.

I haven’t been home much in the past couple of days but I’ll try to recap the best I can. Monday night I saw Invincible with Mark Wahlberg. I really liked it. I never doubted him in the role and rooted for him even though you knew how it was going to turn out (SPOILER ALERT: He wins the game AND gets the girl). Anyway, I really enjoyed it even though I started the night in the wrong theater. J. and I were in the theater for Wicker Man instead which I didn’t realize until I saw the name “Nicolas Cage” on the screen. Oops. We were going to stay but I really wanted to see Invincible and there was no one in the theater, meaning they had turned the movie on just for us. I felt guilty, what can I say? As J. snored next to me, I tried to catch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. What I saw of it, I liked. The first 15 minutes were kind of slow, but it livened up. I wouldn’t say it lived up to all the hype it was given, but it wasn’t bad either! I thought Amanda Peet was very good! It’s a great role for her and I hope she gets the chance to really work it. Matthew Perry was good, but in the same vein as Chandler Bing. Maybe it’s just his comic timing, I don’t know. Regardless, I’d watch it again… until the next Real World/Road Rules challenge is on!

Just got done watching America’s Next Top Model. I missed the first hour but that’s just when they show everyone’s sob stories and then you feel bad when Tyra boots the recovering anorexic with a drug addicted mother in rehab. So, now they’re down to 13 girls, but only 11 beds. OUCH! Two of the girls will need to sleep on what they call bean bags, but what are really “love muffs.” We had possession of one in college and let me tell you, they were pretty comfy. Would I want to sleep on them every night? Hell no, but for a couple of days I’m sure it would get the job done. Anyway, I’m a big fan of AJ. She is not the norm in the looks department and she lacks confidence, but she takes one hell of a picture. There is a set of sister, Michelle and Amanda. I’m assuming they’re twins but since I didn’t see the beginning, I’m not 100% sure. They always have one girl who’s not conventionally pretty but this year they have two, because those girls are butt skanking ugly. I’m not a model, don’t get me wrong (as is evidenced by the picture I’m sure I’ll post) nor do I claim to be. But when I saw the “modeling” pics of these girls on the web site I still didn’t think they looked good. Guess that’s why I’m not in charge. Apparently I can’t see inner beauty! Anyway, looks like it’s going to be an interesting season considering some of these girls are already divalicious. Next week is the makeover episode and that’s always good for some drama. S;eaking of makeovers, check out the new hair. It's not the best picture, but it was the best I could salvage from the drunken shots of Sarah's party, some of which included me rolling on the ground (don't ask). Good times!

Why the FUCK is Project Runway a rerun? I was all ready to watch and they’re showing the episode from last week! What the hell? All I want to know is who the final 3 are. That’s all. Why is Heidi Klum screwing with me?

I heard the song “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo on the radio this morning on my way to work. If you have any pop culture knowledge that song should remind you of the movie “Back to School.” What a great flick! I mean, Thornton Melon and the triple lindy!? Rodney Dangerfield at his very best and yet another “mean jock” role for Billy Zabka. What was the 80’s without Billy Zabka? Anyway, I was just wondering why I don’t own that movie on DVD but then I realized that it’s usually on TV at any given time between Comedy Central and Fox. Granted, it loses a bit in the basic cable translation, but you can still get the point.

My Ipod is dying. That does NOT make me a happy girl. How can I get through the day without music? I put the Ipod on shuffle and pressed play. When I did that, it continuously goes through all the songs on my Ipod, but doesn’t play any of them. This is so not good for me. I was doing a little research online today and found that my Ipod should have around 14 hours of battery life. I get about half that. Granted, I bought it about a year and a half ago, but it shouldn’t shit the bed that quickly. So, I guess I’ll be hitting up the Apple Store in the mall this weekend because I don’t know what else to do. If anyone has any Ipod knowledge, feel free to bring it my way. Right now I’m trying to run down the battery to see if it was just a glitch, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.

I was perusing Sandra’s blog and saw she was having trouble thinking of a Halloween costume. I, too am having that problem. Halloween is big in my office and (if I make it that long) I really need a good costume. All I can think of is a flapper and Cleopatra. A few years ago I was the Roy Horn to my sister’s Montecore (the tiger that mauled Roy) and last year I was Carrie. Great costume, but not very comfortable, what with the blood and all. So, this year I thought “maybe I’ll be pretty.” Every costume I come up with has me being the manly half of a duo. I can’t win. So, if anyone has any good ideas, let me know!

Today is a special day for two reasons. One: today we celebrate the birth of Matthew and Gunnar Nelson. I LOVED Nelson. Had them laminated on my trapper keeper when I was in school. I just recently downloaded “Love and Affection” and jam to it every chance I get (well, when my Ipod will let me). Reason No. 2: VERY special thanks to Rob for getting the Brian Roberts and Melvin Mora Celebration Bobbleheads from Oriole Park. They came today and I had to take a picture so everyone could see them. Absolutely priceless!!! Today was yet another shitty day at work (I finally had to treat bitchiness with bitchiness) and those bobbleheads sure brightened my day when I got home. So, Rob – you’re the best and I owe you one!!!

Tomorrow night is the return of Grey’s Anatomy (although I’m still very unhappy about the move to Thursdays) and the Thursday night lineup on NBC. I have dance class so I won’t be able to catch The Office and My Name is Earl, but I hope to see E/R. We’re not going to be able to get the DVR up and running until September 30th so I’m really going to have to suffer for the next week or so. What I’m saying is, take it easy on me. I’m ridiculously bitter that I won’t know what’s going on with the Jim/Pam romance (we all know the soft spot in my heart that I have for Jim) so if someone is great at recaps, let me know! Anyway, hope everyone’s having a great week and I’ll probably be back with more on Friday.

I woke up thinking today was Friday

What a cruel, cruel way to begin the week. I think we should only work on the weekends and have the rest of the week to do whatever it is we want. Don’t you think the world would be a much better place? I sure do.

Today is the day the entire firm realized I was here. All at once. That’s not necessarily a good thing. I was busy today, but tomorrow is another day. Hopefully they’ll take notice at a little slower pace tomorrow!

The weekend was good. I bowled like shit on Friday night. Still trying to get my bearings I guess. That, and we bowled at a really quick pace so I think I was thrown off a little bit. I went to the grocery store on the way home and talked to J., who wasn’t going to make it to my house in time to catch a movie. No biggie… Instead I made brownies to take to Sarah’s party and I watched Kill Bill while he slept. I really like Quentin Tarantino and the Kill Bills are high on my list. I managed to watch the second one last night but fell asleep before the five finger heart exploding technique. Damn me and my need for eight solid hours of sleep! Anyway, J. had a long day so I let it slide this time, but he better not make it a habit! I got up and organized the house a bit on Saturday and made homemade macaroni and cheese to take to Sarah’s. It is the only thing I can make so I get really into it. It was quite good (or people were blowing smoke up my ass, either one is fine with me) and my friend Tara accused me of having my mom make it instead of me. Not so! Anyway, in between all this, I watched Shopgirl with Steve Martin and Claire Danes. It was pretty good. I never thought there’d be a way for me to have such disdain for Steve Martin, but I did. I guess that means he played his role well…. like it was written just for him… Hmmmm….. ;) (For those of you out of the loop, Shopgirl is based on a novella written by (wait for it) Steve Martin!) Anyway, I do recommend it for those of you romantics out there. I don’t normally like Jason Schwartzmann but he kind of grows on you in this movie.

Sarah’s party was fun. If there were any pictures where I didn’t look hammered, I’d post them. Ok, there might be one but that’s it. I’ll try to put some up at some point this week. Anyway, it was a good time at Sarah’s. We played Texas Hold ‘Em. I suck. I’m getting better, but I still suck. I guess practice makes perfect but I really don’t want to practice with money. I mean, I know I’m bad so why would I risk losing money against people that really know hwo to play? Silly, I say! After consuming COUNTLESS Jell-O shots, we played beer pong. The boys kept running the table, but we made a run for it and I was the Queen of the retaliation shot! To no avail, of course, but it sounds great, am I right? Anyway, Danny drove us home and I got to sleep in my own bed… Yeah.. that was around midnight. I know, I’m a lightweight lately. Anyway, I woke up at 5 am in nothing but the shirt I had worn to the party. Apparently I got home, took my pants off and crawled into bed. The bathroom is right next to my bedroom so I didn’t think it was necessary to put pants on until about 9 am when I went downstairs for a glass of water. Yep… good party.

Sunday I went to see Seussical the Musical at Columbia High School. My mom’s friend’s son was in it as part of this summer theater camp. It was a really great production. The costumes were impressive, as were the kids. I had no idea what to expect and it was a really good show. Later on that night, Tre and I went to see The Black Dahlia. I had been really looking forward to it but once I saw it, I was kind of indifferent to it. There were parts I just didn’t understand and the movie really had little to do with the killing of “the black dahlia.” I don’t really find any talent in Josh Hartnett so that might have put a bad taste in my mouth too. Scarlett Johannson is gorgeous and has more talent in her little finger than he does in his whole body. I’m starting to really appreciate her as an actress. She’s sexy, but not slutty. Hilary Swank was slutalicious in this movie, though. Wow.. I learned a lot from this movie in all honesty. I guess lesbianism wasn’t sexy to men in the 40’s cause it was a BIG deal that Hil had dabbled in the Sapphic arts. In this day and age, most men are thrilled by it, not turned off. Who’dve thunk? The movie wasn’t terrible. Just slightly hard to follow at times.

And that brings us to today. Might be hitting up the movies again tonight (WITH popcorn, unlike my already full belly last night) but we’ll see what happens and if J. has to cover for his moronic roomie again regarding his dog. On Friday I left the dog out of the cage because well, I couldn’t get it to go in and I figured he’d only be out for a half hour or so before J. got home from work. Yeah.. by the time J. came home he had turned the whole house upside down (except for J’s roommate’s room). Not good.. When J. talked to his roomie he just assumed I would put the dog in the cage without ever asking me to do it or talking to me about it. So, needless to say, he’s not high on either one of our lists right now.

Ok, enough venting. It’s Monday and tonight is the series premiere of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I’m going to try and watch it but it depends on what time I make it to the movies so I’ll do my best. Other than that, new shows should be starting all this week. I am anxiously awaiting my new Wednesday night of America’s Next Top Model paired with Project Runway. It’s a match made in fashion heaven, even if it’s only for a few more weeks. Enjoy the rest of your Monday and I’ll update you tomorrow!

I'm batting a thousand!

Well, I called it. Tucker Carlson went home on Dancing with the Stars and I don’t think anyone deserved to go home more than he did. It was painful to watch. I understand that it’s hard to learn ballroom dance, and probably even harder for men, but that was excruciating. I’m looking forward to see who bites the big one next week. I didn’t see who was in the bottom with Tucker (did it really matter) so I’m curious to see who steps it up and who trips (I’m talking to you, Springer!).

I did not see all of Project Runway. I know, I’m upset too but I’m sure I’ll manage to see some of it this weekend. Anyway, I was trying to educate J. as to the phenomenon we call “Swingers” (the movie kids, not the sexual act) and he subsequently fell asleep a half hour in. Granted, the beginning of the movie is not the high point but I have a feeling if it were the Skinemax version, he’d have found a reason to stay awake. So, I stole the remote control right out from underneath him and was able to watch the last 20 minutes of Project Runway. Imagine my surprise when the first model I see go down the catwalk has the name “Vincent Libretti” on the screen. Um, what? I think I screamed “what do you mean, a fucking repeat?” even though I knew I had never seen that dress before. Luckily, J. only stirred briefly after my outburst so my stealth watching continued. I finally learned that because Angela and Vincent had both won challenges (as did Keith, but he was ineligible) they were allowed to come back for this challenge. However, they would have to win the challenge in order to stay. All or nothing basically. The challenge was to make a black and white dress and they had to use every last inch of their fabric. To make a long story short, Laura finally came out with a win, although I believe Michael’s dress was better. That Nazri sure knows how to work it. He got so lucky when she picked him for the style icon challenge cause they are a phenomenal match. Laura does not have immunity but it was nice to see her do something that was outside of her comfort zone, especially this late in the game. Her dress was really youthful and pretty and Michael was the only one that came close to standing a chance with her. Uli was in but she’s really going to need to show the judges something different next week because they finally pointed out that she is a bit of a one trick pony. Not good. The final two were Kayne and Jeffrey. Jeffrey’s dress was just… ugly! I get it, you’re rock and roll but a cocktail party dress does NOT show your hoo-ha or have ugly thigh high leggings to wear with it. It just doesn’t. Kayne’s dress was actually quite pretty, but the theme as black and white and there was literally one strip of white. The back was heinous and that is why our little friend Kayne had to go home. I’m disappointed. I mean, I never thought he’d make it to the end but he’s entertaining as all hell and I like watching him. Yes, he has “Vegas tendencies” and is a little lacking in the taste department at times, but he’s a stand up guy and I hope for only great things for him afterwards. With that being said, now I have to pray to God that my final three stay intact because if Jeffrey gets a show at Fashion Week I’m going to flip. I know he’s the Santino of this season, but I had a soft spot for Santino, even if it was just for his Tim Gunn impression.(Oh, how I wish I could go to Red Lobster with him and Andrae, and I don’t even like fish!) Jeffrey is way too much of a douchebag for me to feel bad for. Not even when he cried when Robert went home did I feel like he had a heart. He reminds me of the Grinch and that is NOT a good thing. Anyway, looking forward to the drama of next week and then hopefully a knock down drag out reunion special. I just want to see what Keith will say to Kayne and what everyone will say to “Mean Mommy” when they hear what she said behind their backs!

Tonight I start a tap class that is being taught by one of the women I used to dance with. I had to borrow my cousin’s tap shoes because mine are.. well.. lost in the abyss of moving. I know they’re somewhere. Where that somewhere is, I haven’t a clue! I’m sure they’ll turn up but for now I’ll have to break Lindsey’s in. Thank god she’s at college! Anyway, I’m looking forward to it but I’m curious to see what it’s like. I’ve never danced anywhere but my old dance studio so it’s going to be a little surreal. At least some of my girls will be there. I haven’t decided if I’m going to perform or not. Sounds silly, because I’m completely at home when dancing on stage but I don’t want to be the only one of my group to do it. I guess I’ll have to feel it out a bit before I make my decision… and start Weight Watchers again. J

Speaking of which, this week was supposed to be my “get back in shape and eat better” week. Didn’t happen. Case in point: I had a slice of vanilla bean cheesecake from the cheesecake factory for lunch. Yep… that’s all I had. I think my teeth are rotting out of my head just from thinking about it. It was phenomenal, don’t get me wrong. I savored every bite. Then my co-worker sent me the nutritional information and I wanted to pull a Jamie Lynn Sigler (AWW.. that was mean - I could never be bulimic… puking makes me cry). I’m not even going to tell you the calorie count because you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Anyway, they opened a Cheesecake Factory in Colonie Center and I’ve heard the food is really good. It was a freaking madhouse when I went in there today. All I wanted was to get my parents a gift card for their anniversary tomorrow AND two slices of cheesecake. It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. The wait time was at least an hour and a half and that was for lunch… during the week. It’s insane. I think I’ll wait a few months before I try to get in there!

I also got some good news yesterday. The office mate of the attorney I used to work for called me. She has been swamped with work and asked if I wanted to make some extra money by drafting some documents and such for her. I’m very excited about it because it’s extra money, it’s completely in my comfort zone and she has a program that will allow me to work from home. That’s a bonus because I really don’t want to see my ex-boss. I left on good terms with him (so I thought) but then he said some things after I left that were derogatory to my performance and hurtful to me so I’d like to avoid that as best I can. What can I say? I hold grudges and am not so good at forgiveness. Typical Leo, I’m sure!

Hopefully I’ll be able to update you on some things tomorrow. O’s won last night against the Red Sox and hopefully they’ll pull it out again tonight. I’m not getting my hopes up, but it’d be nice. I’ll also try to update you on some of the week’s gossip that I haven’t been able to get to since I went on a Project Runway tangent! I couldn’t be happier that tomorrow is Friday, could you?

I think I found a new career...

I’m going to quit my job and start a Counting Crows cover band. I sound JUST like Adam Duritz when I’m singing along in my car so I might as well capitalize on that talent. If you can’t tell, work has been extremely frustrating as of late. I’m not the type that is OK with being mediocre at something. I was really good at my last job and I really enjoyed it, but I also needed to make more money. That is the only reason I took my current job. The money was too much for me to turn down, yet apparently I’m still underpaid for my profession (which makes me feel better about living paycheck to paycheck as I have been lately). When I came into this position it was a really busy time so no one really had time to train me. Now when I’m getting work thrown at me (which has been a rarity, hence all my free time to blog) I feel stupid because I don’t know what I’m doing and they expect me to know. Well, perhaps if someone had trained me in what to do I’d know what the hell I’m doing! It’s very frustrating and I feel like I’ve voiced my concern, but I don’t think it’s been enough. I’m struggling to find work that will keep me off TMZ.com and other such sites all day. I mean, I love my gossip and internet searching but I’d really like to not be bored all god damn day. I know most people would love not having anything to do at work but I am not that girl. The day has to go by somehow and it’s not going by very quickly here. Ok, on to another soapbox.

I referenced this letter in my blog yesterday and my mother happened to find it and send it to me so I thought I’d post it so you all can see where I’m coming from. I think that if you click on it, you can see a bigger version which should make it a hell of a lot easier to read.

As you may have noticed, I wasn’t in the best of moods yesterday. My sister decided a way to cheer me up would be to go to dinner at the St. Charles, where we had gift certificates to burn. Danny, Tre and I strolled into the dining room around 6:50 and there was one other table so we figured we’d be out in time to watch House (only because I had forgotten that Dancing with the Stars was starting - more on that in a bit). Wow, were we wrong (hee hee.. a whole sentence starting with “W.” It’s the little things). First of all, I needed to get the bar menu because there was no way I was going to eat anything on their new menu. Well, I would have had the chicken but they were out of it. Well, not out of it since it never came in. They also had a new price fixed menu where for $15.99 you could get an appetizer (choice of three), and entrée (choice of three) and a dessert. That would have been great, but of the three entrées they only had one and were doing no substitutions. Is that not the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. If you don’t have 2/3 of the menu then you shouldn’t start that special on that particular night. I mean, they’ve been open with the new owners for a good couple of months so they should know their delivery schedule by now. Then, Danny ordered the penne pasta to which the waitress replied “Ok, but the pasta is linguini, is that ok?” Um…. No! Unreal. Danny then orders a wild mushroom bisque which came to the table lukewarm and took forever to get there. It was just a bad experience. Like I said before, there was only one other table in the entire restaurant and I ordered a burger and mozzarella sticks, so God knows there was no reason for us to be there for almost two hours. Thank god I had a gift certificate because I might have flipped my shit if I’d had to pay for that meal (well, if I’d ordered like Tre and Danny did because my dinner was fine - just took forever). I almost forgot, I ordered a Miller Lite and was given a Michelob Light. Twice. I don’t think I was speaking with marbles in my mouth but that happens to me all the time. It’s not that I don’t like Mich Light, but I really wanted Miller Lite. It just wasn’t worth sending it back because I had no idea if/when I would actually get my drink. I will say one thing though. The fried cheesecake smelled fabulous! I couldn’t have shoved one more thing down my throat so I didn’t get it, but Danny got it to go. Yes… I was seething with jealousy and that would be the only reason I would go back there for a meal. So yeah… yesterday was a great day!

Let’s get down to business, shall we? Dancing with the Stars began last night. I missed the first six couples so I can only attribute my posting to the short recap, so we’ll start with what I did see. I got a brief look at Emmitt Smith and he did really well. I think he’ll be a fan favorite and who doesn’t love to see a big, lumbering guy kick it on the dance floor? He had one of the highest scores of the night. Willa Ford was pretty good. You can tell she has some dancing ability but I think she’ll be hurt by the fan factor because she might be too much of a has been for the show. Then again, Harry Hamlin’s on and what was the last thing he did? Oh yeah, cheer on his wife. NOW I get it. Speaking of Harry, he did pretty well but he was very stiff. If he loosens up (which is what all the judges said) he has a shot of doing well. Lisa Rinna went pretty far last year so if he can take her fan base he might have a good shot at the Top 5. As expected, Mario Lopez was phenomenal. The man can move and it looks completely effortless for him. With his dancing ability, he should win. I don’t know how he’ll do with the popularity vote. Granted, soap opera fans pushed Kelly Monaco to the win (well.. one of them) so he might stand a chance, regardless of his quickie divorce due to supposed infidelity at the bachelor party. Yep, people remember things like that and hold it against you. Something to think about. Vivica A. Fox was really good and I hope she gives the younger girls a run for their money. Shanna Moakler was ok. The judges didn’t like her. I believe she was in the bottom 3. Again, be careful of what that bad press will do for you. Also in the bottom 3 was Jerry Springer but I have to give him credit. He REALLY tried! He looked petrified but it seemed like he was having a good time and just needs to feel more comfortable in his own skin. I think those were all the ones that I saw. As for the recaps: Joey Lawrence looked good. I’m not sure I liked the cut off sleeves of his outfit, but I think this one will come down to the heartthrobs: Joey (call me Joe) and Mario (don’t call me Slater). If anyone has to go tonight it should be Tucker Carlson. I don’t pretend to know much about politics (or even who he is and what he does) but it was just painful to watch. The judges agreed. I don’t think there’s any chance of this guy getting better as the show goes on so just cut him loose while you can. Apparently Sara Evans is also in the bottom but from what I saw, she didn’t look too bad. Maybe she fell on her face or something and they didn’t show that. I guess some girl from High School Musical named Monique did well. I mean, if she was in a musical it’s a pretty good bet she’s got some sort of dancing ability so she’ll probably be OK. She was the only one that I didn’t know by first name alone. Hmm.. I don’t think I’m missing anyone but I was so beat last night that I can’t be sure. Results show is on tonight so we’ll see if I’m dead on with my prediction of Tucker Carlson going home tonight.

Dancing with the Stars results show; Project Runway day. Wow.. what a hump day. Hump ‘em while you’ve still got ‘em.

It's a banner day

Wow.. special thanks to Rob for figuring out how to post links on the side of my blog. I've been bitching about not being able to do this since I started and while I still don't know how, at least they're there. Kind of like my cooking: I don't know how to do it, but somehow something edible always ends up on the dinner table, whether I made it or not! So, thanks a lot and enjoy the links!

It's been that kind of day....

As you can see from my earlier post, I’ve been a slight slacker this weekend. So, that must mean there’s lots to say, right? I guess you’ll have to wait and see!

I got my hair cut this weekend. Not just a regular haircut. I’m talking chop and color (and not the usual blonde highlights). I haven’t had a chance to take a picture of it as of yet (maybe later) but when I do, I will certainly post it for you curious fans. Let’s put it this way. It’s short, choppy and dark brown with auburn highlights. Granted, I’ve had short hair plenty of times in my life (and with the thinness of my hair, it’s probably when it looks healthiest) but this is way different from anything I’ve ever done. Everyone seems to like it (or they’re all filthy liars) and now that I’m getting used to it, I like it too. Certainly cuts a little time off my grooming in the morning, meaning more time to hit the snooze alarm or watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on FX.

Prior to the haircut, I woke up with lips that can only be described as 3x the size of Angelina Jolie’s. If anyone saw last week’s Nip/Tuck, my lips looked like that of lobster lady, but not on purpose. I literally had to put ice on them to bring down the swelling and even that didn’t work. My lips blew up a few weeks ago too, but it was at night so by the time I woke up in the morning, all was well with the world. Considering I couldn’t avoid leaving my house, I drove to my parent’s house and my mom gave me Benadryl, which brought the swelling down a little bit more. So, she gave me another caplet for later in the day. The only thing strange that I had eaten was a burrito (with Mexican rice) and I took some Nyquil just prior to bed. So basically, it could be a red dye issue (there’s more to it than that, but I don’t feel like elaborating). If you’ve noticed, Benadryl is pink which more than likely means it has red dye in it. So, mom had to call and tell me not to take it and then she got me dye free Benadryl. She’s a good mom! My lips are so f’n chapped that I’m now putting Vaseline on them at all times. It’s working, but carrying around a small tub of Vaseline does elicit some weird stares. I don’t know if the chappedness has anything to do with the lip explosion, but it’s getting ridiculous.

J. met Mom and Dad this weekend. It went pretty well. He wore regular clothes and his only misstep was saying “I don’t really consider bowling and golf sports because you can get better at them the drunker you get.” I think I turned around and shot poison darts into his face. I don’t expect people to understand the whole bowling thing. I’ve spent the majority of my life defending bowling and I didn’t feel like I would have to do it with him. We had to stop talking about it on the way home because I was really pissed and didn’t want to fight about it. All my mom said was “he needs to read your letter.” The letter is a Letter to the Editor of the Register Star (local newspaper) that I wrote about 7 years ago when the local bowling alley was getting ready to be demolished for a Rite Aid. The reporter had basically written about “beer guzzling men with beer bellies” and I went off. I think I did it eloquently, but I still let her know the mistakes she made. I still have it somewhere, as do my parents. Anyway, we sat and chatted with my parents for about an hour and a half and they liked him. Mom thought he had “violent tendencies” but she kind of misunderstood his stories. He was trying to make conversation and she was being a mom! lol.. But, it worked out and that’s one bullet that’s been dodged. Gotta love that. He cooked me dinner Saturday night so I had to do the dishes. As we all know, I’m no culinary wonder so when he asked me what I wanted for a side dish and didn’t scoff at my request for instant four cheese mashed potatoes, I knew things were going well.

Speaking of bowling, I started on Friday night. My forearm is KILLING me. It’s really sore. Maybe I should have taken the ex up on his offer to go bowling and “get the dust off” before the season started. I did see him on Friday night and I’ll give him credit; he looked good. But we didn’t talk. Things are still too awkward. I didn’t really know what to say, nor did the opportunity arise where we were by ourselves. So, we texted a bit after bowling just to see who did better (he did, but not much). Wait till he sees the new hair.. Poor, poor man.. He doesn't stand a chance ;)

I had every intention of going to the gym last night. I had no plans with J. (although I did stop by his place on my way home from work) and I had even packed a bag that sat in my car. However, I haven’t been feeling good as of late and had the headache from hell. So, I called my cousin Chrissy instead and we went for a walk. It was nice to be outside and the weather is still pretty decent, even at night. Like I said earlier, it’s just too nice out to be in the gym. I’m going to have to be there all winter, so why start when it’s still nice enough to be outside? Maybe I’ll try to walk again tonight after I charge my Ipod. I don’t know what the deal is, but it looked like it had at least half a battery left but the low battery warning came on and it shut itself down. That’s what I get for trying to listen to 1300 songs! Now I’m on Launchcast Radio through Yahoo. I keep trying to go past songs cause I forget it’s not my Ipod. I can’t believe I’m listening to (and enjoying) an Adult Alternative station. Again… who bought the old lady?

I don’t pretend or claim to have any knowledge of football, but I do love me some Peyton Manning. So, it was great to see him beat his little brother on Sunday night. Granted, I didn’t see it as we had people over for the earlier football games and after a few insanely good strawberry daquiris (thanks for the blender Chad) I was asleep by 9:30. But, I did see parts of the game and heard about it the next day. I root for the Colts. I like Peyton and Tony Dungy. I think they’re kinda classy and they entertain me. So no, you won’t be getting any insightful posts about the Colts like you do about the O’s but I won’t ignore it either.

Yeah.. let’s talk about the O’s. WOW… I don’t know why I watch the games because the minute I turned it on, they shit the bed. David Hoey? Why are we bringing a kid up from frickin’ Delmarva with a lead? That he subsequently lost. And Fernando Tatis? If you’re not trained to be an outfielder, DON’T PLAY OUTFIELD!!! It wasn’t a can of corn, but a real outfielder would have caught that ball. So, in the span of one inning (and my only game watching of the night) the score went from 5-2 O’s to 8-5 Yanks (I think, I lost count). And oh yeah.. it also became official that we couldn’t win the division. Um… am I the only one who knew that about two months ago?

In other news, we (ok.. I) mourn the loss of Anna Nicole Smith’s son Daniel. He made a few appearances on her E! reality show and he actually seemed like a nice, normal kid. He died in the hospital where he was visiting his mother and her newborn daughter (the father’s name has not been released but I thought a few months ago it was said that it was a paparazzi). Rumor right now is that he died of a heart attack and there doesn’t look to be drugs, alcohol or foul play involved. What a way to celebrate the birth of one child with the loss of another. I mean, she’s not playing with a full deck as it is so there will more than likely be some pretty crazy breakdowns in her future. Granted, this one would be well deserved.
UPDATE: apparently Daniel died of unnatural causes and the toxicology report should be released on Thursday. Also, it seems Britney Spears has given birth to another boy and all that buying of pink stuff was just a ploy! Brangelina and Tomkat - lock up your daughters! Then again, there's a Spears/Federline for both since Sean P. turns a year old in a few short days.

Dancing with the Stars begins tonight and it looks like the odds-on winner is Mario Lopez of Saved by the Bell fame. I’m a fan of the bald men so I’m hoping Joey Lawrence shows us a little something something, if you know what I mean. Plus, I loved Blossom. Anyway, Mario showed us some sick dancing skills in a unitard on SBTB so I think he might have a little edge going in. Although, last year I though Stacie Kiebler was a shoe in so I’m not going to say anything just yet. It doesn’t really matter how good you are, just how popular. I’m going to try to get into it but I make no promises. I really like ballroom dancing and it’s amazing how their bodies and skills change as the show goes on. It’s kind of a guilty pleasure.. like Sandra and Celebrity Duets although I don’t feel as bad about my love for it!

Anyway, I’ve used up the Post it note and my available time so hopefully this was enough to keep everyone on pins and needles until my next post. Tomorrow is Project Runway Day. Make it work.

I'm that girl

that gets a boyfriend and neglects everything else, right? Oh, nay nay my friends! It was a busy weekend! I left my Post-It Note of topics at work last night and I took a walk with my cousin Chrissy so I didn't have time to post. It was too nice a night to go to the gym but I thought I needed to attempt some sort of physical activity. So, more to come later... hopefully sooner rather than later as I'm adding onto my post-it note as we speak. Patience is a virtue that I don't possess, but hopefully you all do...

TGIfrickingF

I usually jot down stuff I think of to blog about. This is what my post-it note said:

Paris Hilton (alcoholic shit for brains)
Nip/Tuck
Project Runway
Suri Cruise

Boring and already been done? Maybe. However, I’ve had a bit of a wretched week (albeit short) at work so I’m kind of reaching for straws when it comes to topics. Maybe I’ll think of more things to write about as the afternoon goes on. Today is the biggest TGIF I think I’ve ever had. I’m getting out a half hour early, thanks to the half hour extra I stayed yesterday (ok, 20 minutes, but if you round up it’s a half hour). I start bowling tonight. Considering my ex (ya know, the brain surgeon that knocked up the practically jailbait one night stand) is bowling in the league next to me, it should prove to be sufficiently awkward. So, more updates on how that goes. I’m really not all that concerned. If he has any balls at all he’ll try to say “hi” to me and I’m still not sure how that’ll go. I’ll probably be cordial. Depends on how the rest of the day goes. I’m looking forward to it, just the same. I love a good night of male torture and he is usually a very good candidate for that. Mean? Perhaps. Justified? Maybe not, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s my nature and I like to keep people on their toes.

J. is meeting my parents tomorrow. I’m insanely nervous. I’ve never had a bad experience with boyfriends meeting my parents, but it just stresses me out, as I’m sure it does with most people. My advice to him was to be nice to the dog (Murphy, the pug of all pugs and my parent’s third child) and to wear a shirt that doesn’t depict a naked female form. I think those were good ground rules, don’t you? We haven’t really had a chance to see each other too much this week because a friend of his just moved home from Hawaii (why?) so he left me a message yesterday asking if I would like Saturday to be like.. an all day thing instead of just dinner and a movie. It was kinda sweet that he thought of that himself. Yep, he’s doing ok. I still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do though. Maybe I’ll kick his ass at miniature golf. That could be fun. Or maybe we’ll just make out all day. That could be fun too. I’m a big fan of the makeout. I think it’s insanely underrated.

Ok… let’s get a move on. Paris Hilton was busted for DUI because she had to get an In and Out Burger. Um, I’ve never had an In and Out Burger (I don’t think… Amy correct me if I’m wrong as we did do the Fast Food Tour of Southern California back when we were in college) but I can pretty much guarantee her stomach has never seen a burger. If she’s had one before it’s probably because she ate it and subsequently threw it up. I mean, in the statement that’s all over the internet she states that she went to dinner with her sister and some friends before having that elusive margarita. So why didn’t you EAT at dinner, you moronic pinhead? I mean, come on. Nothing is going to happen to her but you have to enjoy seeing her in cuffs (oh yeah, like that’s a first). I mean, when you’re that rich, why are you even attempting to drive yourself somewhere? You pay people to do shit like that. Hell, I’d be her personal driver if the price is right! I'm not even touching the fact that she's a shit for brains. That's a given.

Project Runway: Haven’t seen the episode but have read countless recaps, which caused me to find one of my new favorite websites www.projectrungay.blogspot.com. If I knew how to put links up on my blog (yep… computer moron) I would put it at the top! I love the snark of gay men and fashion. Anyway, Vincent got off this week, but not the way I’m sure he was hoping for. God, he’s creepy. I really won’t miss him at all. Jeffrey won again, even though he had immunity so he could have sent ANYTHING down the runway. I didn’t like his dress on the Paris model but that girl in New York worked it! It looked great on her. I didn’t hate Kayne’s dress like it seemed everyone else did, but I think he could be the next to go. Also, I know the pregnant body is supposed to be beautiful and all, but I really don’t need to see Laura’s distended stomach as she’s designing. Keep it under wraps.. aura of mystery.. all that jazz. How pregnant is she? I mean, she looked completely normal two weeks ago and all of a sudden she’s six months along? I know women sometimes pop out all at once but did she not JUST find out she was pregnant? I don’t get it (and pretty much hope to never get it, if you catch my drift). Anyway, next week should be interesting and as usual, I’m anxiously awaiting the episode. We’re getting down to the wire kids! Although what I’m really looking forward to is the reunion show. Shit’s gonna go down my friends!

Nip/Tuck does not waste any time. I think the episode was on for 3.5 seconds before I saw Julian McMahon’s bare ass. (Thank you FX!!) I was pleased with the episode but I think Brooke Shields turn as his therapist was kind of pointless and why the hell was she letting him fuck her later? I mean… he’s your patient and you’re not getting your point across about meaningless relationships (and oh yeah.. his homo love for Shawn) by letting him screw your brains out. But hey… who am I to judge? I’d do him again… Also, the story line with the baby being handicapped… Don’t tell me Shawn isn’t thinking that he and Christian are the greatest plastic surgeons in the world and could probably fix his kid. I mean, is there a pink elephant in the room or what? (PS - I did doze off for about five minutes so that could have happened). Anyway, I’m glad the boys are back and I look forward to tons of drama and the return of Kimber next week. She might just bring the smackdown.

Screw Suri. We all know how I feel about celebrity babies but I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already. Leave the kid alone. You saw her, get over it. Lots of hair, cute and maybe Asian.

In response to my 80’s diatribe last week, I want to thank my loyal reader (and ex-babysitter) Shell for remembering that my Cabbage Patch Kid’s full name was Glynis Caroline. I have no idea why she remembers that (and neither does she) but she was right and if I had funding, I’d give her a prize. (Sorry Shell.. I’ll buy you a drink sometime?)

I’m a bad fan. I’ve been neglecting my Orioles. It’s late in the season and there really isn’t much we can do and they’re not on TV where I am so I get distracted very easily. I realized that today. I have a lot of work to do but I keep getting distracted by e-mail, web sites and the new music I put on my Ipod. For instance, right now I’m listening to Alanis Morrisette/Jagged Little Pill. I remember getting that CD my second year at Columbia Greene and seeing her in concert. It was a great show and I think my sister got drunk beforehand and threw up in the Burger King bathroom in Schodack which is where we ALWAYS used to stop on the bowling bus in high school. As coincidence would have it, that’s where the bowling team stopped that very night, making it kind of awkward. I think that’s the same night that Tracy came downstairs and asked where her prom dress was because she was DJ’ing a dance at the school (she wasn’t). What was I talking about in the first place? Oh yeah.. the O’s.. not watching but still love and still a loyal fan. I mean, look at those arms. GRRRRR.. Just waiting for Cal to get in the Hall and everything will be at peace.

Not much else going on as we speak so I’m gonna get a move on and try to make it through my weekend. If anything else good comes up, you’ll be the first to know.

Long weekends can make for long (short) work weeks

So, it’s Tuesday but felt like Monday. I guess that’s better than Monday feeling like Tuesday because then you still have four days left of the week. I, on the other hand, only have three. Yay me (and the majority of the rest of the world). Let’s update, shall we?

Spaceballs. FINALLY saw it and it was hysterical! I was right in that J. quoted most of the movie, but he didn’t do all of them out loud so there was still an element of surprise to it. I put other Mel Brooks movies on my Netflix so I’ll keep you posted. I also watched Donnie Darko. Interesting. I liked it, but I’m not really sure why. It was… strange. But I think in a good way. Maybe I should watch it again.

I spent hours upon hours putting my old CD’s onto ITunes this weekend so I could finally update my ipod. I admit, I was pleasantly surprised by some songs that popped up today. I now have over 1300 songs on my ipod. Now, if only I could figure out how to make a playlist AND shuffle it without having to do it myself I’d be a very happy girl. But still, mission accomplished! I also did something else that was on my to-do list for a few weeks and that was order pictures off Shutterfly.com. If you don’t have it, you should really give it a shot for sharing your pictures online. When you do want to buy the prints they’re only $.20 apiece for a 4 x 6. I got four albums worth for $30.00. Good deal. I just really like having the actual prints of pictures. I mean, I know we’re in a modern day and age and everyone sends things electronically but someday I’d like to show people real pictures!

The Chatham Fair beer tent was entertaining as always. We went on Saturday AND Sunday night. Saturday night, my friend Chad’s father’s band played. We had a good time watching people dance and listening to some good tunes. Sunday night there was a DJ and there is nothing like watching white trash grind on each other. It’s kind of like a car wreck… You don’t want to see but you can’t force your eyes to look away. You all know what I’m talking about! I got some great pictures (some of which I posted yesterday) and I got my annual corn dog. It was the perfect blend of corn and dog and I even persuaded Sarah to try one. Also got gravy fries, one of the greatest invention known to man (and woman). We’ll be back next year so my cousin Chrissy and I can fake conversations over the dull roar of the tractor pull. God I love living in the country.

I had dinner with J., his brother, his brother’s wife and his roomie on Friday night. Yep… met some of the family. His brother was very nice and entertaining. His sister in law was not overly nice, but she wasn’t outright mean to me either. Apparently she’s not a huge fan of J. so I’m already guilty by association. Perhaps it was that 23 oz beer I ordered the minute I sat down to dinner. Hell, I’d had long day of nothing and nothing cures that like a 23 oz Miller Lite. Funniest thing was that his brother wanted to go bowling after dinner. Now, for those of you who know me, you know I’ve been bowling since I was 5. I can’t just “go bowling.” So, luckily, my father was on his way over to my house right after I found this out and he bought my bowling balls with him and I subsequently put them in J’s car, just in case. We decided to just play some darts (J and I beat his brother and roomie) which worked out so much better for me. I don’t know… it’s just weird to go bowling with people who don’t know how. I can’t really come up with a great analogy for the situation without making it sound like I’m “professional” but hopefully you get the idea. My ball has grips and it’s mine. I like my shoes. I’ve had them for at least 15 years. I’m not about to use a house ball and shoes hundreds of people have worn before me. It’s not my thing. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: I am a bowling snob!

OOH… finally saw the missing episode of Project Runway. Jeffrey is a classic douchebag and I hope he gets booted in the very near future. As much as I didn’t like Angela and her rosette filled concoctions, I really wanted her to be able to see Jeffrey walk away before her. So yeah, Angela got booted what seemed like mere minutes after arriving in Paris. Now THAT sucks! Also, what was up with the zipper on Jeffrey’s pants? I can’t believe he won because Michael clearly had a better outfit and it traveled very well. I’m curious to see what they do with these people in gay Paris. And another thing, in this day and age is it even possible to buy people plane tickets (especially someone you’re not related to) with no destination on them and all that jazz? I’d be shocked but hey.. it’s TV! So anyway, this is who we have left: Vincent (again, why?) Kayne (better step it up) Laura (Snarky McBitch) Jeffrey (Supposed Former Crack Junkie) Michael (I have nothing to say, he deserves to be there and he’s a nice guy) and Uli (again… love her. Think they’re going to challenge her in the near future because she has gotten away with doing similar designs each challenge). So, if all goes the way it should, my top 3 would be:

Laura - as much as her attitude and her collarbones get on my nerves, she’s really done a pretty good job thus far;
Michael - he’s made some amazing outfits and I’d love to see what he would do with a whole collection; and
Uli - her lack of fear in using color and her personality are tops with me. Plus, I hate Jeffrey and am kind of indifferent on crazy Vincent and Kayne.

Only a few more weeks left! I hope to catch the season premiere of Nip/Tuck tonight. There are LOTS of celebrity cameos coming up and some of them even include nudity. That Mario Lopez sure is broadening his resume with this guest spot and Dancing with the Stars. I mean, look what it did for Kelly Monaco!! Um.. who? Yeah… After I wrote that I was thinking the same thing.

In great Oriole news, Nick Markakis was named the AL Rookie of the Month for August. It’s an incredibly well deserved honor and congratulations go out to Nick. I would be more than happy to personally deliver that trophy to him… in his hotel room…. wearing nothing but a rain coat and heels.. Oh shoot! Did I say that out loud? Anyway, in news about other O’s that hold a soft spot in my heart, I’m almost positive that tomorrow is the anniversary of a very special day in O’s history. Correct me if I’m wrong, but September 6th (1995) should be at the tops of everyone’s list if you’re an O’s fan. If you’re not, then you don’t get it and I really can’t waste my time dealing with your ignorance right now. Let’s just put it this way: Cal is and always will be “the man.” Nothing anyone says (ever) can change my mind, so don’t waste your breath.

Happy short work week and I’ll catch ya later.

Holiday weekends can be fun!!

I didn't have time to construct a post so I figured I'd put some pictures up from the beer tent at the Chatham Fair to keep you thoroughly amused. Who wants a corn dog?????

I must be getting old

Ever since I can remember, I would work my night around the MTV Video Music Awards. I was always so excited to hear who would be performing and I remember ripping up my Darryl Hall and John Oates poster when they beat my beloved Huey Lewis for a moon man. This was back in the day when the awards were on the same week that school started so it was always hard to get your parents to let you stay up for the whole thing. Also, my old dance class was on Thursday nights (and it was inevitable that would be the first night) so I would rush home to catch the opening sequence. I came home from wing night last night to find the awards on and I switched it to a rerun of Grey’s Anatomy. So this is what 30 is like. I’ve heard the show was pretty shitty and god knows they’ll rerun it 1400 times this weekend so if there are any parts I actually did want to see, I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity. It’s just hard to admit your age sometimes, that’s all. It’s like I’m realizing I may not always be “hip.” Why God, WHY?

Since we’re on a trip about how old I am, I’ve had some time to compile a list of 80’s toys, by request of my friend Eryn. Some of these are my faves and others just ones I found interesting and remember slightly fondly.

Cabbage Patch Kids - I went online and found the site where they have adoptable dolls that are already named. You can adopt one and give it whatever name and birthday you want, but I believe the ones with names are “vintage.” So, I checked through and found that not one of those dolls was named Kara. I mean, I don’t have the most common name in the world so I thought I’d have a shot, but alas. I remember my first Cabbage Patch Kid. She was blonde with pigtails and her name was Glynis. After that I had a preemie named Kendra. I think a Koosa (the pets) came after that and since I was a twin, I had to have a set! They were redheads with braids. They were so damn cute. I don’t remember how many I had but I know it was more than that because I remember having pictures taken with all of them and I was surrounded. I had one of the ones with teeth too. Those were fun. I think there were some that had glasses too. That Xavier Roberts, he sure knew how to start a frenzy.

Um… there was a Boy George Doll? Sorry I missed out on that one!

Etch a Sketch: I could still be completely transfixed by Etch a Sketch.. and Lite Brite for that matter. I was not (and still am not) artistically inclined but I loved trying to make things on my Etch a Sketch. I loved watching those people on TV who could make works of art from it. I could barely draw a square. But hey… all you had to do was shake it and you could start from scratch.

Fashion Plates: Don’t you wonder how many Project Runway contestants got their start designing with Fashion Plates? If you don’t know, they were plastic plates that had different tops and bottoms so you could design your own outfit. You would then put paper on top of your plate and rub something (crayon, pencil, I think most actually had a special contraption for it) over top of it so you would have the outfit and you could color it any way you wanted. Again, no artistic ability, but I do have some fashion sense. If I weren’t reading this is probably the toy I was playing with when my mother literally threw me outside in the summer, mumbling something about “fresh air” under her breath.

Freakie Freezies: Ok, so they weren’t a toy but how f’n cool were they. They were the precursor to Hypercolor (admit it, you all know you had at LEAST one hypercolor t-shirt; can you imagine the sexual harassment complaints if they released hypercolor in this day and age?) and way more fun because they had actual designs that showed up when it got cold. What a fun reason to go outside in sub zero temperatures.

Get in Shape Girl: I think I had every single GISG package. They always came with a tape (I believe white, with a pink sticker) and I believe my favorite was the ribbon. I always had these huge gymnastics aspirations, mainly because I thought I was cool cause I could do a one handed cartwheel. I think I still can but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, GISG has been re-released for the children of today and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or bad thing. Granted, most of the kids in the USA today are either overweight or underweight so I guess it’s good to get kids moving early, and in a fun way. But are we starting them too early? Who knows? Anyway, I loved GISG and I still remember the theme song to this day cause “you know the feeling” and “it’s so appealing.” Yes, Get in Shape Girl, I agree.

He-man/She-ra: Obviously I was more of a She-ra fan, but my sister was a bit of a tomboy so she had all the He-man stuff and we ended up having to play with that too. He-man ranks right up there with GI Joes and Matchbox cars for me.

Jem: She’s excitement, outrageous, glamour and glitter, fashion and fame. Isn’t that enough? I LOVED Jem. I’m pretty sure I had everything. I remember the dolls, but not much else. Although, I was so obsessed that I’m sure I had everything Jem that was manufactured. I probably even had the doll of that two-timing greasy bohunk of a boyfriend of hers. Bad role model? Perhaps… but one hell of a cartoon for us gals.

I miss Nintendo. Life was so easy then. My sister just bought and Xbox and trying to work that controller is just too much work for me. Give me Qbert and Super Mario Bros. anyday!

Pogo Balls: Do you remember these? They were basically a pogo stick without the stick. Damn, they were fun. I remember having competitions to see how fast and/or far you could go without falling off. Falling off really sucked because they were REALLY hard to get onto. There was a certain way to hold your feet against the ball and it wasn’t easy. Once you got on it you prayed to God you didn’t fall off cause it might be hours before you were able to get on again. Ok, maybe that was just me, although I doubt it because I’m pretty coordinated.

Speak and Spell: I just recently heard this Dane Cook sketch and if you click on this link, then press play, you will totally understand and more than likely agree. Hysterical! I LOVED the speak and spell until it let me down in the fifth grade spelling bee. I’ll never misspell curriculum again, I’ll tell you that much.

Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine: I’m pretty sure this didn’t come out in the 80’s but it’s a classic and I loved it. That, and the EZ Bake Oven. Both rites of childhood passage and hopefully someday your child will make you a half baked chocolate concoction and force you to eat it. At least the sno-cones were pretty edible no matter how bad you screwed them up.

I know Eryn wants me to wax poetic about the Thundercats and Transformers (inside joke) but I can’t. I remember playing with Transformers (neighborhood full of boys and tomboy sister) and I remember Optimus Prime (yet another entertaining skit from Dane Cook) but Thundercats I just wasn’t into. Those were boy type things that I avoided at all costs. I was probably too busy reading “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing,” or writing my own mini novel “Henry the Pig.” Oh yeah… it happened. I wish I could find that. I was such a talented child.

In conclusion, the 80’s were great for toys… not so much for style and clothes. No one is more mortified than me that leggings (or as Lacey calls them “flasdance feva” pants) are making a comeback. I refuse.

Back to normal: O’s won in extra innings a couple nights ago but couldn’t pull it out last night. My boy Nick is still kicking some major ass and is looking to have an incredible second half of the season. He’s batting in the three hole now and that doesn’t seem to have an adverse effect on his hitting. The picture I’ve posted is of him and my other boy, Brian Roberts. Oh, to be the catcher in that picture. However, I’d be wearing WAY less equipment. Happy Holiday weekend to all and I’ll try to post some pics from the Chatham Fair, if we don’t get rained out this weekend. Always a rip roaring white trash good time. Have a good one!