I am highly confident that in a previous life, I assassinated Cupid's family. There can be no other explanation for the clusterfuck that is called my love life.

Found out from a mutal friend last night that a guy I dated a few years ago (thankfully, I use the term date loosely, but we did hang out for a few months back in the day) was arrested on kiddie porn charges. I can safely say, I didn't see that one coming.

Also, Jason was supposed to come to my friend Eryn's wedding with me this weekend as my date. Last week he decided he had "given up on me," so I decided to hit the wedding stag. Apparently he didn't get the memo, and texted the bride (who he's met once) to find out if he was still going as my date. Um.. didn't think to ask me, huh? Anyway, that led to some angry texts as I felt he crossed the line by texting her (what moron texts a bride with something trivial the week of her wedding?) and he vehemently disagreed. He then decided that I should go fuck myself and stay the fuck out of his life... also, that he doesn't know who I think I am and that he was "glad he went over the line because now he doesn't have to deal with my shit anymore." I'd post the entire transcript, but that's probably crossing the line... Essentially, I'm the devil, which only made me angry because I was really calm (when I wasn't laughing at the texts coming through) and wasn't even mean enough to deserve to be treated as such. Even my friend Nikki (who thinks I have horns that pop out of my head) thought he was a touch on the crazy side with his texts. And perhaps I've realized, evidenced by the fact that I DID laugh throughout this entire childish exchange, that I'm way too good for him and even though I'm 33 and single, I'm not going to settle. Although at this point, it's probably not a bad idea.. God knows what else could get thrown at me at this point! lol..

If anyone knows of a way to cleanse your love aura, let me know. It seems mine might need a good old-fashioned scrub down!

That whole "not dating a guy whose name starts with J" thing might not be a bad idea..

In nice news, J's brother messaged me on facebook last week, basically apologizing for J's wrongs.. it was really late, but really nice to hear, as I could have only imagined what stories he was concocting about our break up. Obviously you've been a douche if even your family is on the other person's side!

So basically, back to the drawing board. I've had a few people tell me that I should write a book and they're probably right, cause I seriously could NOT make this shit up. Maybe I'll call it "Douchebags not to Date," or "Just Because He IS Into You, Doesn't Mean You Have to be Into Him!"

At least I'm learning my lesson.. last night this cute guy sat down next to me and started chatting. Come to find out he has a 9 year old son and loves the outdoors.. He asked me what I do for fun and I pretty much said "I stay indoors." I know what won't work for me, and hunting, fishing and camping are not those things.. Baby steps my friends.. baby steps..