I saw New Moon on Saturday night and was NOT disappointed. I really enjoyed it, even with the random cheesy bits interspersed throughout! I very much enjoyed the Jacob-centric film, especially since he barely wore clothes through most of it. Yes, I KNOW he's only 17 and I feel dirty about it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that he is a sexy son of a bitch that I wouldn't kick him out of my cougar type bed for eating crackers. Now only 7 months to go until Eclipse opens!

Happy First Birthday goes out to Toine and Kelly's daughter, Taylor Gracie Esposito! I saw a pic of Sweet T with her cake and I have no doubt that she went to town! Tonight I'm catching up on NCIS with a mini-marathon, and imagine my surprise when "Pizza Girl" from October Road turned out to be some sort of rogue assasin. Guess typecasting had nothing to do with this one!

I am sure this means NOTHING to most of the readers of my blog (the three of you there are, give or take) but I bowled 694 the other night. I was REAL thrilled about it and I had no one to celebrate with, as the majority of my drinking buddies were at a phys. ed. conference at Turning Stone. Bummer! Instead I went grocery shopping, where I ended up behind a woman with food stamp issues. I am almost positive I was in line behind her for at least a half hour, which was about double the time it took me to get through the store and get all my groceries. The perfect end to a Friday night? I think not!

My sister has put up all our Christmas decorations and bought a new tree. While she did that, I went to MJ's for beer and football. I am far from a scrooge, but my sister is so Christmas obsessed and has a "method" for where things should go, so it's easier to get out of the way instead of trying to help. "I do it wrong" is what she says. I'm so scarred for life.

I live to serve you Christopher Thomas

At least sometimes, that's what it feels like ;)

I was (and still would be) an avid fan of Remote Control, the game show on MTV that helped launch the careers of Colin Quinn, Adam Sandler and my favorite unreasonably dirty fantasy, Denis Leary, so you can imagine my surprise to learn its host, Ken Ober, died over the weekend. No real details have been released as of yet.

Can I mention that I'm so appalled by the fact that when I type in "ken" on yahoo to search, the first thing that comes up is Ken Jennings, the most annoying Jeopardy contestant ever..

My boyfriend Taylor Lautner was on Jay Leno last night, and since we all know how much I loathe Jay Leno and blame him for my screwed up TV watching phase this Fall, you know it pained me to watch. However, for Team Jacob, I'll do it! My sister was like "he's 18, right?" No.. no he's not, so at least now I have someone to revel in my dirty Mrs. Robinson ways with me. Thanks Tre!

I don't care WHO screwed it up, it worked out for me! I guess I have to keep wearing my jersey so Peyton and the boys can keep the streak alive!!!

I think my second passion party is gonna cancel this weekend, which sucks. After layoffs and pay cuts, I could have used the extra loot! Apparently no one is in the sex toy buying mindset, what with the holidays coming around. I just don't get it! Perhaps I should have thought of something that would have been a little more.... appealing to the masses..

Neil Patrick Harris is now on Twitter. Follow him.

This is the best I got at the moment.. Been real busy and have some things rolling around in my head! I'll try to be good, I promise!

I was thrown for a loop when I saw this headline....

For some reason, my sister can't stop talking about this trailer.. I don't remember seeing the first one, so I'm not quite as excited..

I am officially a loser.. I bawled my BRAINS out watching the Khloe Kardashian-Lamar Odom wedding on E! Damn you Bruce Jenner! I've had quite a few friends announce separations lately so I'm not exactly sold on the sanctity of marriage.. I'm not saying Khloe and Lamar have done it for me with their whirlwind courtship, but a girl can still dream of it.. and a Vera Wang dress..

Happy Hump Day!

We might not be the best, but we've got potential!!!

If you are a straight woman or gay man and DON'T watch Glee, then let me show you what you're missing...

This is the first week where the audience can vote for the eventual So You Think You Can Dance winner, which simply means there's another show I need to tape. Also, I was kind of surprised to hear this news, mainly because I was certain he was gay. I know.. male dancer. can't be straight.. I get it.. it's a stereotype. Regardless, they're kind of cute together and even in the audience of the show tonight with the rest of the cast of the tour that did NOT come anywhere near here (nope.. not bitter at all)..

Great TV news - Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List will be back with 10 new episodes in 2010!! Now if only she'd come around this area again so I can get my laugh on! I really wanted to go see Jim Breuer on December 4th, but my cousin Laura has a dance performance at school that I'm really looking forward to. If you have Sirius/XM and don't listen to Jim Breuer's show on Friday afternoons, you don't know what you're missing (apparently it's a trend on the blog today... deal with it). Speaking of Kathy, she'll be making a guest spot on one of my favorite shows in 2010!

Apparently if it doesn't have to do with dancing in some way, I don't want to talk about it on the blog today! I guess not every "fairy-tale relationship" is as fairy-tale as we're led to believe. How am I supposed to have faith in the santity of relationships and marriage if no one can keep it together anymore?

I have GOT to get my ass to Vegas ASAP!!!

See what I mean about love? I mean.. if THESE crazy kids can't make it work, who can? I was on Team Flex from the get-go so all I can do is hope for a brand new show to give that guy his due. Come on VH1! Give me what I want!!!

It gets a little scary when things like this hit close to home, don't you think?

I haven't ran in two months.. I made it a half-mile at a time.. I guess it was better than nothing. I weighed myself this morning, hence the athletic reality check. SOMEONE needs to get back on track..

I am one of those unlucky bastards who has to work tomorrow, but at least it's a bonus casual day. That ALMOST makes it worth it (or at least that's what I'm going to tell myself to make me feel better about it). Happy Veteran's Day to all and Happy Birthday Joey!!!

If anyone wants to know what to get me for Christmas, click here.

Money works too though.. Found out last week that the whole firm is taking pay cuts (I say taking like I had a choice), so in order to keep my job, I get to do it for less money, effective immediately. Can't say that I was thrilled with that news. Yes, I'm ecstatic to still have a job, but I'd be even more ecstatic to still have my job and my paycheck. Wouldn't you?

I'm not actively searching for a job by any means.. I like where I am, but you have to keep your eyes out so you're not completely blindsided, am I right? I seriously can't do the unemployment thing again. Although if I had to, I'd have PLENTY of time to watch the complete series of Dawson's Creek.. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place ;).

In honor of the start of our indoor soccer season last week (and my being tripped from behind and suffering from some nasty turf burn) I wanted to post this video as what NOT to do... I taped The Today Show this morning just so I can see how this girl could possibly justify her actions. I mean.. there's playing a little dirty and then there's everything this girl did, which she'll have plenty of time to think about while she's suspended!

We all know what a sap I am (so much so that I REALLY wish TV would stop playing the trailer for The Blind Side, cause it makes me cry EVERY time), but stuff like this really gets me. I'm far from a Yankee fan but who knew they had families and feelings? ;) My sister is going to the ticker tape parade tomorrow.. Someday, I swear, I'll go to a ticker tape parade.. I just hope I won't have to do it in my walker... or with a colostomy bag. There's always next season O's!!!

Halloween Party at MJ's Pictures

OK.. technically they're not AT MJ's, cause I took too many pictures beforehand, so my internal memory was full before we went out, but hopefully you'll get the drift.

These are the spider cupcakes I made for work. They were a big hit.. I don't know if I won the contest though, as laying people off became a higher priority. Apparently, I've made it through.. so far. Keep your fingers crossed.. Cute little spiders though, aren't they? They took FOREVER to make!

The gals at Nikki's house before our transformations.

Tre's roller derby girl - The Notorious V.A.G. (who apparently IS a real roller derby chick! Tre loves Biggie so the name could not have been more appropriate for her). She even stayed on her feet way longer than we had expected!

This is the hickey Shannon gave me.... with makeup.. but it looks amazingly real. So much so, that it fooled pretty much everyone!

Nikki in her go-go boots... cause she needed to be a head taller than me! I went as the "walk of shame." I hadn't gotten my bed head yet, but the hickey and smudgey makeup did the trick.

Pictures from Eryn and Willy's Wedding

It poured the entire day, although I've heard that's good luck! Therefore, galoshes were a necessity under the wedding dress. The rugby gals of CSC... and our favorite groupie (Erica, Amy, Me, Eryn and Jess)

Bride and Groom during their final dance
Jess, Amy, Eryn, BJ and me at the reception.. We might have played rugby, but we could always clean up real nice..

Me, Eryn and Amy after hours at Seven Barrel Brewery

The wedding was an absolute blast! Eryn and Willy threw a great party and it was great to see my girls! Who's next?

So, one of my co-workers read my tarot cards today and had me pick out my "crystal of the day." Here are the results:

Rhodonite is an emotional balancer especially love emotions. It is an emotional healing stone. Rhodonite clears out emotional wounds from the past. It also clears away festering resentment and anger and helps find forgiveness. It builds up confidence and love. A rhodonite necklace is good to wear in times of stress. Most of all rhodonite is a healing love stone. It is a good stone to use in rituals where a stressful relationship needs to be healed.

Six of Swords
A boat of swords being ferried across a river with a woman as passenger. The classic Rider-Waite meaning is that one is leaving difficulties behind. A trip or change of scene may be the answer to restoring balance here. But there is more to it than this. In relation to the mind, ideas and words of the sword suit, this is also about finding a solution to math problems and brain twisters, not just troubles. The ferryman may signal help here, a silent partner (a reference book or internet website perhaps?) who helps you row your way toward the other shore...and THERE is the answer, a way to make your idea, your argument, your formula work smoothly, perfectly, beautifully. Also, of course, a card about trips by boat.

Knight of Wands
I like to think of this teen as the "tilting at windmills" Knight. Charismatic, the kind of youth who never slows down, who always goes for grand gestures. This is the party "teen", and we're talking big, wild parties; the kind of youth who loves his car and seems to live in it, driving everywhere, picking up his friends as he goes. He's popular, the center of attention, the leader who comes up with crazy ideas. He'll be voted class president or Prom King, and is likely an aggressive player on the football team. On the negative side, this teen can be headstrong, bossy or a bully. A little narcissistic, he's not always sensitive to others feelings. Don't expect him to be reliable or on time. Fiercely loyal to his friends, and his religion whether that is sports, a philosophy or church.

Page of Wands
A message, possibly from far away, about a trip, career move, leadership position or something spiritual/philosophical.

So.. basically what she said is that if I'm waiting for news, I'll be getting it.. I can't think of anything in particular, but you never know! lol.. When I got the six of swords card she was like "are you trying to get away from something... some sort of relationship... get some closure?" I just started laughing.. She said "move on!!!" Then I picked my stone and it went perfectly :)
I'm gonna go with it.. sounds like a good reading to me! Bring on the Halloween parties!!!!

Pictures of the wedding and Halloween are forthcoming, I promise! Happy Friday!!!

I am highly confident that in a previous life, I assassinated Cupid's family. There can be no other explanation for the clusterfuck that is called my love life.

Found out from a mutal friend last night that a guy I dated a few years ago (thankfully, I use the term date loosely, but we did hang out for a few months back in the day) was arrested on kiddie porn charges. I can safely say, I didn't see that one coming.

Also, Jason was supposed to come to my friend Eryn's wedding with me this weekend as my date. Last week he decided he had "given up on me," so I decided to hit the wedding stag. Apparently he didn't get the memo, and texted the bride (who he's met once) to find out if he was still going as my date. Um.. didn't think to ask me, huh? Anyway, that led to some angry texts as I felt he crossed the line by texting her (what moron texts a bride with something trivial the week of her wedding?) and he vehemently disagreed. He then decided that I should go fuck myself and stay the fuck out of his life... also, that he doesn't know who I think I am and that he was "glad he went over the line because now he doesn't have to deal with my shit anymore." I'd post the entire transcript, but that's probably crossing the line... Essentially, I'm the devil, which only made me angry because I was really calm (when I wasn't laughing at the texts coming through) and wasn't even mean enough to deserve to be treated as such. Even my friend Nikki (who thinks I have horns that pop out of my head) thought he was a touch on the crazy side with his texts. And perhaps I've realized, evidenced by the fact that I DID laugh throughout this entire childish exchange, that I'm way too good for him and even though I'm 33 and single, I'm not going to settle. Although at this point, it's probably not a bad idea.. God knows what else could get thrown at me at this point! lol..

If anyone knows of a way to cleanse your love aura, let me know. It seems mine might need a good old-fashioned scrub down!

That whole "not dating a guy whose name starts with J" thing might not be a bad idea..

In nice news, J's brother messaged me on facebook last week, basically apologizing for J's wrongs.. it was really late, but really nice to hear, as I could have only imagined what stories he was concocting about our break up. Obviously you've been a douche if even your family is on the other person's side!

So basically, back to the drawing board. I've had a few people tell me that I should write a book and they're probably right, cause I seriously could NOT make this shit up. Maybe I'll call it "Douchebags not to Date," or "Just Because He IS Into You, Doesn't Mean You Have to be Into Him!"

At least I'm learning my lesson.. last night this cute guy sat down next to me and started chatting. Come to find out he has a 9 year old son and loves the outdoors.. He asked me what I do for fun and I pretty much said "I stay indoors." I know what won't work for me, and hunting, fishing and camping are not those things.. Baby steps my friends.. baby steps..

So You Think You Can Dance has dwindled down to it's Top 20 (of which my love, Ryan Kasprzak didn't even make it through, as he did last year.. disappointment!), and Mia Michaels hair has dwindled down to my grandpa's crew cut. I have to say, my grandpa rocked it way better than she did. Regardless, she has announced that she is leaving the show that has made her a household name outside the world of choreography. I'll be sad to see her go, in all honesty. She has made some amazing dances in the past five seasons and some of the shit that comes out of her mouth, while batshit crazy, is priceless! But hey.. we still have Tyce!!!!

Garth Brooks has once again announced his unretirement, and will do so by headlining in Vegas. Note to future boyfriends - take me to Vegas to see Bette Midler AND Garth Brooks and I'll be yours forever... and I may never leave Vegas :)

After Kanye-Gate, Taylor Swift will be hosting SNL, as well as being the musical guest for the evening. I think she'll be able to pull it off and that'll be one SNL episode I'll definitely DVR (cause it's rare that if I'm home to watch, I'm awake to do so).

New Olympic Sports were named last week, rugby being one of them! It sucks that softball is gone, but I'm excited to see rugby on such a large scale.

A movie I'm already looking forward to is Burlesque, which will star Kristen Bell, Christina Aguilera, Cher and Julianne Hough. I believe Christina plays the talented diva, so at least her acting debut might be a little easier than she had anticipated! Can you go wrong with Cher in a movie named Burlesque? If only Bob Mackie were doing the costumes...

Oh Kara, what a segueway!! Bob Mackie was a special guest on Project Runway last week, asking the designers to make a performance dress for Christina Aguilera. I was pretty disappointed with the results. I mean.. no one went SEVERELY over the top, and Shirin's lack of confidence and vision led to her demise. Nina Garcia FINALLY made it back for judging, and next week she'll be joined by Michael Kors, so the real judges will bring some order back to the judging. Not that it's been bad, but I think there have been some interesting eliminations since they've been gone.

Since Maura Tierney has announced that she's leaving Parenthood to concentrate on her recovery, Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) will replace her. I think it's a good combination. Both are great actresses who can pull off funny and drama. Parenthood has always been one of my favorite movies, so I'm curious to see how similar to the movie they stay.

Did we really need a Saw VI (or 2 - 6 for that matter)?

Seems everyone's favorite crime lab worker, Abby Sciuto, will be making an appearance on the spinoff, NCIS: LA in the very near future. She appeared by phone last night, but will travel across the country to lend a hand.

When are men and women gonna learn not to shit where they eat? Especially with crazy people half their age? Not long ago I read a book about the beginning days of ESPN, and the sexual harassment was rampant. Somehow, I'm not surprised! Anyway, Phillips got a one week suspension, but we'll see if this is the only hand slapping ESPN will do. They ARE owned by Disney now (right?), so this doesn't look so good for the network. Remember what happened to Harold Reynolds?

Big plans for the rest of the week, so who knows when I'll blog again. I have a jewelry party to go to tomorrow night, and I have to get a mani/pedi on Friday night. Ok.. I don't HAVE to, but I really want to, as I have my friend Eryn's wedding in NH on Saturday. I'm going by myself, which I'm not happy about, but the date(s) didn't exactly work out so I'm going solo. I believe there is LITERALLY one single guy that will be there. Good god, I hope she doesn't throw the bouquet.. I'll die of mortification..

Therefore, enjoy the rest of your week and have a great weekend!!! And try to think of a cheap, easy Halloween costume I can pull together from stuff at home.. that would be great, thanks.

PS - If you're not watching Glee, you're an idiot.. just saying...

I went to see Zombieland by myself tonight (c. Howe.. please come home soon.. FOR GOOD) and I enjoyed it. It wasn't a cinematic masterpiece, but it made me laugh. You have got to love Woody Harrelson.. he has his over the top moments but he knows how to use them.

Earlier today I gave you some bad Big Brother news... but here's something a little more.. heartwarming! I admit it, I'm rooting for these two to work out and if they don't.. Hey Jeff.. I'm available ;)

I told you the other day that Bethenny Frankel was engaged, but now it's been confirmed that she's preggers as well. Seems some online buzz from PerezHilton.com forced her to let the cat out of the bag... really early, as she's only two months along. There is no such thing as privacy in the reality TV world..

I didn't think Glee could get any better, but now Joss Whedon will be directing an episode. Remember, this is the man behind one of the greatest musical episodes TV has ever seen (Buffy's "Once More With Feeling"), so it can't be a bad thing!!!

In a not-so-shocker, Top Chef has been renewed for another season. To continue with my love of Bravo, there will be a new installment of the Jersey Housewives in 2010, and the debut of the DC Housewives. I'm counting down the weeks (2 I believe) until the latest OC season starts!

Tre and I decided that we HAVE to get up early and do Insanity or it won't happen. I hate doing it, but I have to admit it's nice to not have anything to do after work. It'll come in real handy when soccer starts up again in two weeks as well.. Although I think Thursday mornings will come REALLY early after a late night soccer game. I can't wait to start it up again.. I miss the workout and I miss the way to work out my aggression.. I know it's a Mom's league and all, but they don't play like your sterotypical soccer mom! Although I have to say, I'm really glad I wasn't at Afrim's for this incident... Thankfully, it looks like everything will be ok eventually!

This is all I could remember from my post-it note.. I know I've been a slacker as of late, but I'm doing the best I can!!! Get ready for hump day :)

If you're planning on using your prize money for not so legal things, best thing to do is not get caught. I TOTALLY didn't see this one coming!!!

Today as I was walking (oh nay nay... STRUTTING) to the bathroom at work, I realized that I have missed my true calling as a contestant on America's Next Top Model. Granted, I am ridiculously short with stumpy legs and double the size of every girl on there, but I'm pretty sure those bitches can't make it look like they have wind in their hair like I can... and I'm not even on a runway.... And if I tried real hard, I could probably smize like Tyra... Just saying..

This weekend has certainly had its ups and downs for reality stars!!!

One got engaged... (which is great and all, but God, please don't make me wait till I'm 38 to get engaged.. I can't be this single for five more years.. seriously)

One got a DWI....

One's house got broken into, and

One's still a douche :).

Another day, another death of a pop culture icon!! Say it ain't so and wear rubber bands in all your body hair... ok.. maybe not ALL your body hair...

I was invited to a party on Saturday night, as my friend Paula's date (her husband couldn't go, so he let me use his ticket). $20, all the beer, wine and soda you can drink, a meal and dancing till midnight. I was excited about it, thought it'd be a great time. Until I got there and realized that it was a hoe-down. I'm not kidding.. An honest to goodness hoe-down.. a country band, lots of wranglers and boots. I like country music, don't get me wrong. I think I knew the majority of the songs the band played, but it wasn't the type of music you can jam to. Thankfully, when we left, Paula jacked up the Jay-Z and things were back to normal. I still had a good time, but it was far from what I expected!

I have FINALLY booked a few Passion Parties.. I'm really excited, as I need to have three parties worth $1,000 total before the end of November. I will more than likely cut it close, but I'm giving it the best shot I have! I have two booked and left a few messages, so hopefully they'll become lucrative. I also ordered business cards and our new catalogs, so I had an extremely busy, yet productive Passion Parties day!!

I finished "Official Book Club Selection" by Kathy Griffin. Even if you don't find her funny, it's a great book. She was extremely honest about her life, including her plastic surgeries and divorce shocker. I dare you not to get weepy when reading about her dad and her relationship with her parents. It was an easy, fun read!

Have I missed the announcement of Mariah Carey's pregnancy? I saw it on the cover of one of those US Weekly, Life & Style, blah blah blah magazines, but considering I hadn't heard of it till then, I wasn't quite sure if it was official or true. I mean, you'd think that'd be news I would have heard!! Speaking of pregnant, Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi has announced her pregnancy, which is a surprise, not only because she suffers from endometriosis, but also because she hasn't publicly been dating anyone since her split from Salman Rushdie. The only person accused of being the father turned out to be related to her. How awkward...

Rumors around town are that Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are engaged. They could both do worse, that's for sure..

As ashamed as I may be, I still have set a series recording for the Real World/Road Rules Challenge that started airing on Wednesday. I'm shocked Diem got booted by Tonya (the Mayor of Crazytown) and I have GOT to find out how old Syrus is. To quote my fellow Real World lover, Chris, Syrus heads local AARP chapter in Boston at this point. (Ok, it wasn't a direct quote, but you get the gist). Anyway, I still want these people to get married and have babies (oh wait.. they HAVE, yet they still don't see that as the right time to STOP DOING CHALLENGES) and ya know, maybe get a real job someday, but I do get some pleasure out of watching them torture each other and basically fuck and drink themselves into an early grave.

Bravo loves taking care of their own, and $50 says I'll watch each and every one of these shows. Speaking of Bravo, sad news for new Atlanta Housewife, Kandi Burress. In better news, the OC housewives return on November 5, and thanks to his relationship with Gretchen (the third housewife he's bagged) it looks like so will Slade Smiley.. Seriously.. that can't be his real name. I've seen his parents on the show before and I can't believe they named their kid Slade Smiley.. Anyway, looks like drama, drama and more drama to come and I'm so damn excited! The housewives from the ATL just don't do it for me the way the OC ladies do!

How about that whole Letterman extortion plot!? The attorney for the accused was kind of a douche to Ann Curry on The Today Show this morning, but she was NOT having it! Who knew Dave was such a whore?

I didn't get to see Whip It this past weekend, but I hope to see it this week, regardless of the lackluster box office. Not every movie needs to be Oscar worthy.. sometimes they can just be fun!

Tomorrow night I'm volunteering to get a massage to help out a friend who's trying to get back into the business after a hiatus. Yeah, I'm a giver. Hope you all have a good, quick week!!

Then again, things could be worse....