TGIfrickingF

I usually jot down stuff I think of to blog about. This is what my post-it note said:

Paris Hilton (alcoholic shit for brains)
Nip/Tuck
Project Runway
Suri Cruise

Boring and already been done? Maybe. However, I’ve had a bit of a wretched week (albeit short) at work so I’m kind of reaching for straws when it comes to topics. Maybe I’ll think of more things to write about as the afternoon goes on. Today is the biggest TGIF I think I’ve ever had. I’m getting out a half hour early, thanks to the half hour extra I stayed yesterday (ok, 20 minutes, but if you round up it’s a half hour). I start bowling tonight. Considering my ex (ya know, the brain surgeon that knocked up the practically jailbait one night stand) is bowling in the league next to me, it should prove to be sufficiently awkward. So, more updates on how that goes. I’m really not all that concerned. If he has any balls at all he’ll try to say “hi” to me and I’m still not sure how that’ll go. I’ll probably be cordial. Depends on how the rest of the day goes. I’m looking forward to it, just the same. I love a good night of male torture and he is usually a very good candidate for that. Mean? Perhaps. Justified? Maybe not, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s my nature and I like to keep people on their toes.

J. is meeting my parents tomorrow. I’m insanely nervous. I’ve never had a bad experience with boyfriends meeting my parents, but it just stresses me out, as I’m sure it does with most people. My advice to him was to be nice to the dog (Murphy, the pug of all pugs and my parent’s third child) and to wear a shirt that doesn’t depict a naked female form. I think those were good ground rules, don’t you? We haven’t really had a chance to see each other too much this week because a friend of his just moved home from Hawaii (why?) so he left me a message yesterday asking if I would like Saturday to be like.. an all day thing instead of just dinner and a movie. It was kinda sweet that he thought of that himself. Yep, he’s doing ok. I still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do though. Maybe I’ll kick his ass at miniature golf. That could be fun. Or maybe we’ll just make out all day. That could be fun too. I’m a big fan of the makeout. I think it’s insanely underrated.

Ok… let’s get a move on. Paris Hilton was busted for DUI because she had to get an In and Out Burger. Um, I’ve never had an In and Out Burger (I don’t think… Amy correct me if I’m wrong as we did do the Fast Food Tour of Southern California back when we were in college) but I can pretty much guarantee her stomach has never seen a burger. If she’s had one before it’s probably because she ate it and subsequently threw it up. I mean, in the statement that’s all over the internet she states that she went to dinner with her sister and some friends before having that elusive margarita. So why didn’t you EAT at dinner, you moronic pinhead? I mean, come on. Nothing is going to happen to her but you have to enjoy seeing her in cuffs (oh yeah, like that’s a first). I mean, when you’re that rich, why are you even attempting to drive yourself somewhere? You pay people to do shit like that. Hell, I’d be her personal driver if the price is right! I'm not even touching the fact that she's a shit for brains. That's a given.

Project Runway: Haven’t seen the episode but have read countless recaps, which caused me to find one of my new favorite websites www.projectrungay.blogspot.com. If I knew how to put links up on my blog (yep… computer moron) I would put it at the top! I love the snark of gay men and fashion. Anyway, Vincent got off this week, but not the way I’m sure he was hoping for. God, he’s creepy. I really won’t miss him at all. Jeffrey won again, even though he had immunity so he could have sent ANYTHING down the runway. I didn’t like his dress on the Paris model but that girl in New York worked it! It looked great on her. I didn’t hate Kayne’s dress like it seemed everyone else did, but I think he could be the next to go. Also, I know the pregnant body is supposed to be beautiful and all, but I really don’t need to see Laura’s distended stomach as she’s designing. Keep it under wraps.. aura of mystery.. all that jazz. How pregnant is she? I mean, she looked completely normal two weeks ago and all of a sudden she’s six months along? I know women sometimes pop out all at once but did she not JUST find out she was pregnant? I don’t get it (and pretty much hope to never get it, if you catch my drift). Anyway, next week should be interesting and as usual, I’m anxiously awaiting the episode. We’re getting down to the wire kids! Although what I’m really looking forward to is the reunion show. Shit’s gonna go down my friends!

Nip/Tuck does not waste any time. I think the episode was on for 3.5 seconds before I saw Julian McMahon’s bare ass. (Thank you FX!!) I was pleased with the episode but I think Brooke Shields turn as his therapist was kind of pointless and why the hell was she letting him fuck her later? I mean… he’s your patient and you’re not getting your point across about meaningless relationships (and oh yeah.. his homo love for Shawn) by letting him screw your brains out. But hey… who am I to judge? I’d do him again… Also, the story line with the baby being handicapped… Don’t tell me Shawn isn’t thinking that he and Christian are the greatest plastic surgeons in the world and could probably fix his kid. I mean, is there a pink elephant in the room or what? (PS - I did doze off for about five minutes so that could have happened). Anyway, I’m glad the boys are back and I look forward to tons of drama and the return of Kimber next week. She might just bring the smackdown.

Screw Suri. We all know how I feel about celebrity babies but I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already. Leave the kid alone. You saw her, get over it. Lots of hair, cute and maybe Asian.

In response to my 80’s diatribe last week, I want to thank my loyal reader (and ex-babysitter) Shell for remembering that my Cabbage Patch Kid’s full name was Glynis Caroline. I have no idea why she remembers that (and neither does she) but she was right and if I had funding, I’d give her a prize. (Sorry Shell.. I’ll buy you a drink sometime?)

I’m a bad fan. I’ve been neglecting my Orioles. It’s late in the season and there really isn’t much we can do and they’re not on TV where I am so I get distracted very easily. I realized that today. I have a lot of work to do but I keep getting distracted by e-mail, web sites and the new music I put on my Ipod. For instance, right now I’m listening to Alanis Morrisette/Jagged Little Pill. I remember getting that CD my second year at Columbia Greene and seeing her in concert. It was a great show and I think my sister got drunk beforehand and threw up in the Burger King bathroom in Schodack which is where we ALWAYS used to stop on the bowling bus in high school. As coincidence would have it, that’s where the bowling team stopped that very night, making it kind of awkward. I think that’s the same night that Tracy came downstairs and asked where her prom dress was because she was DJ’ing a dance at the school (she wasn’t). What was I talking about in the first place? Oh yeah.. the O’s.. not watching but still love and still a loyal fan. I mean, look at those arms. GRRRRR.. Just waiting for Cal to get in the Hall and everything will be at peace.

Not much else going on as we speak so I’m gonna get a move on and try to make it through my weekend. If anything else good comes up, you’ll be the first to know.

Long weekends can make for long (short) work weeks

So, it’s Tuesday but felt like Monday. I guess that’s better than Monday feeling like Tuesday because then you still have four days left of the week. I, on the other hand, only have three. Yay me (and the majority of the rest of the world). Let’s update, shall we?

Spaceballs. FINALLY saw it and it was hysterical! I was right in that J. quoted most of the movie, but he didn’t do all of them out loud so there was still an element of surprise to it. I put other Mel Brooks movies on my Netflix so I’ll keep you posted. I also watched Donnie Darko. Interesting. I liked it, but I’m not really sure why. It was… strange. But I think in a good way. Maybe I should watch it again.

I spent hours upon hours putting my old CD’s onto ITunes this weekend so I could finally update my ipod. I admit, I was pleasantly surprised by some songs that popped up today. I now have over 1300 songs on my ipod. Now, if only I could figure out how to make a playlist AND shuffle it without having to do it myself I’d be a very happy girl. But still, mission accomplished! I also did something else that was on my to-do list for a few weeks and that was order pictures off Shutterfly.com. If you don’t have it, you should really give it a shot for sharing your pictures online. When you do want to buy the prints they’re only $.20 apiece for a 4 x 6. I got four albums worth for $30.00. Good deal. I just really like having the actual prints of pictures. I mean, I know we’re in a modern day and age and everyone sends things electronically but someday I’d like to show people real pictures!

The Chatham Fair beer tent was entertaining as always. We went on Saturday AND Sunday night. Saturday night, my friend Chad’s father’s band played. We had a good time watching people dance and listening to some good tunes. Sunday night there was a DJ and there is nothing like watching white trash grind on each other. It’s kind of like a car wreck… You don’t want to see but you can’t force your eyes to look away. You all know what I’m talking about! I got some great pictures (some of which I posted yesterday) and I got my annual corn dog. It was the perfect blend of corn and dog and I even persuaded Sarah to try one. Also got gravy fries, one of the greatest invention known to man (and woman). We’ll be back next year so my cousin Chrissy and I can fake conversations over the dull roar of the tractor pull. God I love living in the country.

I had dinner with J., his brother, his brother’s wife and his roomie on Friday night. Yep… met some of the family. His brother was very nice and entertaining. His sister in law was not overly nice, but she wasn’t outright mean to me either. Apparently she’s not a huge fan of J. so I’m already guilty by association. Perhaps it was that 23 oz beer I ordered the minute I sat down to dinner. Hell, I’d had long day of nothing and nothing cures that like a 23 oz Miller Lite. Funniest thing was that his brother wanted to go bowling after dinner. Now, for those of you who know me, you know I’ve been bowling since I was 5. I can’t just “go bowling.” So, luckily, my father was on his way over to my house right after I found this out and he bought my bowling balls with him and I subsequently put them in J’s car, just in case. We decided to just play some darts (J and I beat his brother and roomie) which worked out so much better for me. I don’t know… it’s just weird to go bowling with people who don’t know how. I can’t really come up with a great analogy for the situation without making it sound like I’m “professional” but hopefully you get the idea. My ball has grips and it’s mine. I like my shoes. I’ve had them for at least 15 years. I’m not about to use a house ball and shoes hundreds of people have worn before me. It’s not my thing. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: I am a bowling snob!

OOH… finally saw the missing episode of Project Runway. Jeffrey is a classic douchebag and I hope he gets booted in the very near future. As much as I didn’t like Angela and her rosette filled concoctions, I really wanted her to be able to see Jeffrey walk away before her. So yeah, Angela got booted what seemed like mere minutes after arriving in Paris. Now THAT sucks! Also, what was up with the zipper on Jeffrey’s pants? I can’t believe he won because Michael clearly had a better outfit and it traveled very well. I’m curious to see what they do with these people in gay Paris. And another thing, in this day and age is it even possible to buy people plane tickets (especially someone you’re not related to) with no destination on them and all that jazz? I’d be shocked but hey.. it’s TV! So anyway, this is who we have left: Vincent (again, why?) Kayne (better step it up) Laura (Snarky McBitch) Jeffrey (Supposed Former Crack Junkie) Michael (I have nothing to say, he deserves to be there and he’s a nice guy) and Uli (again… love her. Think they’re going to challenge her in the near future because she has gotten away with doing similar designs each challenge). So, if all goes the way it should, my top 3 would be:

Laura - as much as her attitude and her collarbones get on my nerves, she’s really done a pretty good job thus far;
Michael - he’s made some amazing outfits and I’d love to see what he would do with a whole collection; and
Uli - her lack of fear in using color and her personality are tops with me. Plus, I hate Jeffrey and am kind of indifferent on crazy Vincent and Kayne.

Only a few more weeks left! I hope to catch the season premiere of Nip/Tuck tonight. There are LOTS of celebrity cameos coming up and some of them even include nudity. That Mario Lopez sure is broadening his resume with this guest spot and Dancing with the Stars. I mean, look what it did for Kelly Monaco!! Um.. who? Yeah… After I wrote that I was thinking the same thing.

In great Oriole news, Nick Markakis was named the AL Rookie of the Month for August. It’s an incredibly well deserved honor and congratulations go out to Nick. I would be more than happy to personally deliver that trophy to him… in his hotel room…. wearing nothing but a rain coat and heels.. Oh shoot! Did I say that out loud? Anyway, in news about other O’s that hold a soft spot in my heart, I’m almost positive that tomorrow is the anniversary of a very special day in O’s history. Correct me if I’m wrong, but September 6th (1995) should be at the tops of everyone’s list if you’re an O’s fan. If you’re not, then you don’t get it and I really can’t waste my time dealing with your ignorance right now. Let’s just put it this way: Cal is and always will be “the man.” Nothing anyone says (ever) can change my mind, so don’t waste your breath.

Happy short work week and I’ll catch ya later.

Holiday weekends can be fun!!

I didn't have time to construct a post so I figured I'd put some pictures up from the beer tent at the Chatham Fair to keep you thoroughly amused. Who wants a corn dog?????

I must be getting old

Ever since I can remember, I would work my night around the MTV Video Music Awards. I was always so excited to hear who would be performing and I remember ripping up my Darryl Hall and John Oates poster when they beat my beloved Huey Lewis for a moon man. This was back in the day when the awards were on the same week that school started so it was always hard to get your parents to let you stay up for the whole thing. Also, my old dance class was on Thursday nights (and it was inevitable that would be the first night) so I would rush home to catch the opening sequence. I came home from wing night last night to find the awards on and I switched it to a rerun of Grey’s Anatomy. So this is what 30 is like. I’ve heard the show was pretty shitty and god knows they’ll rerun it 1400 times this weekend so if there are any parts I actually did want to see, I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity. It’s just hard to admit your age sometimes, that’s all. It’s like I’m realizing I may not always be “hip.” Why God, WHY?

Since we’re on a trip about how old I am, I’ve had some time to compile a list of 80’s toys, by request of my friend Eryn. Some of these are my faves and others just ones I found interesting and remember slightly fondly.

Cabbage Patch Kids - I went online and found the site where they have adoptable dolls that are already named. You can adopt one and give it whatever name and birthday you want, but I believe the ones with names are “vintage.” So, I checked through and found that not one of those dolls was named Kara. I mean, I don’t have the most common name in the world so I thought I’d have a shot, but alas. I remember my first Cabbage Patch Kid. She was blonde with pigtails and her name was Glynis. After that I had a preemie named Kendra. I think a Koosa (the pets) came after that and since I was a twin, I had to have a set! They were redheads with braids. They were so damn cute. I don’t remember how many I had but I know it was more than that because I remember having pictures taken with all of them and I was surrounded. I had one of the ones with teeth too. Those were fun. I think there were some that had glasses too. That Xavier Roberts, he sure knew how to start a frenzy.

Um… there was a Boy George Doll? Sorry I missed out on that one!

Etch a Sketch: I could still be completely transfixed by Etch a Sketch.. and Lite Brite for that matter. I was not (and still am not) artistically inclined but I loved trying to make things on my Etch a Sketch. I loved watching those people on TV who could make works of art from it. I could barely draw a square. But hey… all you had to do was shake it and you could start from scratch.

Fashion Plates: Don’t you wonder how many Project Runway contestants got their start designing with Fashion Plates? If you don’t know, they were plastic plates that had different tops and bottoms so you could design your own outfit. You would then put paper on top of your plate and rub something (crayon, pencil, I think most actually had a special contraption for it) over top of it so you would have the outfit and you could color it any way you wanted. Again, no artistic ability, but I do have some fashion sense. If I weren’t reading this is probably the toy I was playing with when my mother literally threw me outside in the summer, mumbling something about “fresh air” under her breath.

Freakie Freezies: Ok, so they weren’t a toy but how f’n cool were they. They were the precursor to Hypercolor (admit it, you all know you had at LEAST one hypercolor t-shirt; can you imagine the sexual harassment complaints if they released hypercolor in this day and age?) and way more fun because they had actual designs that showed up when it got cold. What a fun reason to go outside in sub zero temperatures.

Get in Shape Girl: I think I had every single GISG package. They always came with a tape (I believe white, with a pink sticker) and I believe my favorite was the ribbon. I always had these huge gymnastics aspirations, mainly because I thought I was cool cause I could do a one handed cartwheel. I think I still can but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, GISG has been re-released for the children of today and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or bad thing. Granted, most of the kids in the USA today are either overweight or underweight so I guess it’s good to get kids moving early, and in a fun way. But are we starting them too early? Who knows? Anyway, I loved GISG and I still remember the theme song to this day cause “you know the feeling” and “it’s so appealing.” Yes, Get in Shape Girl, I agree.

He-man/She-ra: Obviously I was more of a She-ra fan, but my sister was a bit of a tomboy so she had all the He-man stuff and we ended up having to play with that too. He-man ranks right up there with GI Joes and Matchbox cars for me.

Jem: She’s excitement, outrageous, glamour and glitter, fashion and fame. Isn’t that enough? I LOVED Jem. I’m pretty sure I had everything. I remember the dolls, but not much else. Although, I was so obsessed that I’m sure I had everything Jem that was manufactured. I probably even had the doll of that two-timing greasy bohunk of a boyfriend of hers. Bad role model? Perhaps… but one hell of a cartoon for us gals.

I miss Nintendo. Life was so easy then. My sister just bought and Xbox and trying to work that controller is just too much work for me. Give me Qbert and Super Mario Bros. anyday!

Pogo Balls: Do you remember these? They were basically a pogo stick without the stick. Damn, they were fun. I remember having competitions to see how fast and/or far you could go without falling off. Falling off really sucked because they were REALLY hard to get onto. There was a certain way to hold your feet against the ball and it wasn’t easy. Once you got on it you prayed to God you didn’t fall off cause it might be hours before you were able to get on again. Ok, maybe that was just me, although I doubt it because I’m pretty coordinated.

Speak and Spell: I just recently heard this Dane Cook sketch and if you click on this link, then press play, you will totally understand and more than likely agree. Hysterical! I LOVED the speak and spell until it let me down in the fifth grade spelling bee. I’ll never misspell curriculum again, I’ll tell you that much.

Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine: I’m pretty sure this didn’t come out in the 80’s but it’s a classic and I loved it. That, and the EZ Bake Oven. Both rites of childhood passage and hopefully someday your child will make you a half baked chocolate concoction and force you to eat it. At least the sno-cones were pretty edible no matter how bad you screwed them up.

I know Eryn wants me to wax poetic about the Thundercats and Transformers (inside joke) but I can’t. I remember playing with Transformers (neighborhood full of boys and tomboy sister) and I remember Optimus Prime (yet another entertaining skit from Dane Cook) but Thundercats I just wasn’t into. Those were boy type things that I avoided at all costs. I was probably too busy reading “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing,” or writing my own mini novel “Henry the Pig.” Oh yeah… it happened. I wish I could find that. I was such a talented child.

In conclusion, the 80’s were great for toys… not so much for style and clothes. No one is more mortified than me that leggings (or as Lacey calls them “flasdance feva” pants) are making a comeback. I refuse.

Back to normal: O’s won in extra innings a couple nights ago but couldn’t pull it out last night. My boy Nick is still kicking some major ass and is looking to have an incredible second half of the season. He’s batting in the three hole now and that doesn’t seem to have an adverse effect on his hitting. The picture I’ve posted is of him and my other boy, Brian Roberts. Oh, to be the catcher in that picture. However, I’d be wearing WAY less equipment. Happy Holiday weekend to all and I’ll try to post some pics from the Chatham Fair, if we don’t get rained out this weekend. Always a rip roaring white trash good time. Have a good one!

This made me laugh

I mean, come on.. Ain't that the truth? I'd post more but I've got nothing. Tried to watch Spaceballs last night but the DVD I got from Netflix had a HUGE crack in it. Not impressed so far, but I filed a damage report and a new one should be out to me in the near future, so they say. I didn't get to actually watch Project Runway and I heard I missed some good Angela/Jeffrey banter so I don't want to comment until I can hear it in all it's snarky wonderment. God knows there'll be a marathon on this weekend. I love Bravo!!

Does this fact disturb anyone but me?

October 8th is both Clergy Appreciation Day and National Children’s Day. I know there has to be a joke there but all I can think is “that’s just wrong.”

I got my first Netflix movies yesterday and they are as follows: The Notebook, Donnie Darko and Spaceballs. Yep, something for everyone. I’ve never seen Spaceballs and when J. found this out I really thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. Therefore, I hightailed it to No. 1 on my queue and we’re going to watch it tonight. I have a feeling he’s going to irritate me with his incessant quoting (he’s already warned me so I know it’s coming), much like CJ sang through Rent. (Yes CJ, you sang through Rent no matter how many times you deny it. I can track down the poor unsuspecting victims that sat in front of us so don’t even try it.) He has yet to see Swingers so I’m sure I’ll quote the hell out of it and we’ll be even. As for Donnie Darko, I’ve heard it’s a tad disturbing and I really don’t know what it’s about off the top of my head. I know I’ve read a synopsis and it interested me so I guess that’ll be review for another day. We all know what a chick flick person I am (and thanks to Lynn for almost always being my partner in crime for them) but somehow The Notebook slipped by me. Maybe because it’s a bit of a period piece. I like my movies in modern day. That’s really my only quirk. Something has to look really phenomenal for me to see it if it takes place in a different era. But I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about this movie and I really like Rachel McAdams so I’m willing to give it a shot. Once I send these back I believe I’ll be getting the first season of Rescue Me. Speaking of which….

Interesting finale last night. I’m not really sure what to think. I mean, I’m glad that Probie’s straight (and the camera angle when he had his “revelation” was priceless) and that no one is leaving the firehouse but the ending… a fire? They’re most certainly not going to kill off Tommy (although it has been said that sometimes the dead have bigger parts than the living on that show) and it would be too easy to kill off crazy Sheila. With Johnny AND Sheila gone, Tommy can run back to Janet and raise his baby (hopefully a boy). I don’t think everything will be wrapped up with a nice little bow. I’m guessing Sheila’s going to get hurt and she’ll guilt trip Tommy because she went back into the house to save him. Just a guess. I won’t say I’m disappointed in the show, I just expected more.

Georgia beat Japan in the Little League World Series, making it the second consecutive year an American team has won. I’ll be honest, I saw Japan play and I never thought anyone had a chance to beat them. A two run home run by Cody Walker was all they needed to win 2-1. I’ve read some other posts about how people think ESPN is basically whoring out these kids and that there should be other things on TV but I think it’s great. I mean, most of these kids (no matter how good they are now) are probably never going to get the opportunity to play baseball on TV again for one reason or another and for two weeks, they’re stars. Think of all the people who didn’t know who Aaron Durley was before this started. I would have killed to have that kind of experience when I was a kid. I’m already planning a road trip to Williamsport for next year, to come after my road trip to Cooperstown for Cal’s induction. Guess I better save up my vacation days!

Last night my sister, my friend Lynn and I went to see Little Miss Sunshine. Again, it was bargain night and it was pretty packed for a Tuesday. Anyway, the movie started out a little slow but it became increasingly hysterical. Was it believable that so many bad things happened to one family on a road trip? In any normal situation, no. But for these charcaters it made perfect sense. I highly recommend it based only on the sheer hilarity of the actual Little Miss Sunshine pageant. It’s pee your pants funny! Ok, I kind of have a weak bladder so maybe that’s not the best description, but if you don’t laugh your ass off you are a sad, sad little person. While I am a huge fan of the The Office (just got the first season on DVD for $23.00), I’m really not a huge Steve Carell fan. However, he was really good in this role. He was sad, yet funny. I might like him, 40 Year Old Virgin be damned! I did see that movie, but fell asleep. I’m wondering if it’s going to be like Anchorman, where I have to watch it over and over again until I realize how funny it is. Greg Kinnear’s character is completely unlikable, but he brings it home in the end. I really think the best role in the whole movie was the mute son, Dwayne. SPOILER ALERT: he took a vow of silence until he can get into flight school (it’s been about nine months) but during the movie he finds out that he’s colorblind and will never be able to fly jets. It was funnier when he was writing things down on a notepad instead of talking, but it was still an entertaining role.

Sorry for the lack of pictures lately. My computer at home has been screwing with me so I’ve been doing my posts at work where I hardly have any pictures saved. My friend Eryn has been up my ass to do a post on 80’s toys so I guess that’s gonna be in the works. I think that’s something I need to do a little research on instead of just putting it together halfassed. However, she sent me this link that was pretty funny so I’ll share it with all of you as a precursor to that inevitable post. Happy Hump Day to all and have a great night! I’m off to Bombers Burrito Bar for a triple date and then Spaceballs!!! I know.. you all wish you were me.

PS

Almost forgot:

O's swept Tampa Bay this weekend and Markakis is still contributing heavily. Someone who has been in the past but won't be in the future is Jeff Conine, who's been traded to Philadelphia. I have always liked Conine and it's a shame to see him go. I hope he does as well in Philly as he did in Florida the last time we traded him away. Maybe we'll get him back next year. Conine's a bit like a bad penny and I mean that in the best way possible!

Monday is the new black

It was an interesting weekend, that’s the best way to put it.

The deck party was Friday night and we had a great time. There were way more people than I had expected and J. got to meet the majority of my friends. Everyone seemed to like him and I think it was a success. He got ID’d by both bartenders (he’s got a bit of a baby face) and my friends gave him shit so I think that was a good sign. Everyone was pretty much in the bag which always makes for entertainment. For example, my sister asked a busboy how to say “funbags” in Mexican. Yep… Mexican. Apparently we’re all hitting up the demolition derby at the Chatham Fair on Thursday to cheer on Ronnie. I’ve never been to a demo derby (or derby of any kind for that matter). I might have to bring my camera.

Saturday we went to the Dutchess County Fair which I’d never been to. I mean, it’s a fair. It was a tad bit nicer than the Chatham Fair but I’m probably not a good judge considering I spend most of my time in the beer tent. Ok.. all of my time unless I’m out getting a corn dog. That’s my favorite part of the fair.. the corn dogs. I had one on Saturday but it just wasn’t the same.. too much corn, not enough dog. I will have to make up for it this weekend. After we got home from the fair I cleaned the house. What can I say? It was kinda disgusting and I really can’t deal with that. Plus, I was peeved because my whole goal for the weekend was to get my cd’s put into Itunes and onto my Ipod. When I tried to open Itunes it said something else wasn’t working (that was already installed) and since I’m a computer retard I gave it to my mother and hope to God she can get it to work. I really do need a computer geek boyfriend.

Sunday, Tre and I went shopping and I actually got some cute work clothes. I really need them cause I’ve found I’m wearing the same four outfits (Friday is dress down day) every week. She bought Xbox 360 and I believe has now spent the entire day playing Ghost Recon, which I made her buy because I wanted to shoot things. I’ve never really played anything but Nintendo (I miss my Nintendo) and there is just WAY too much involved on these controllers. I just want to jump and hit things… shoot the screen. That’s all. Apparently you can’t do that anymore so now I’m going to have to learn how to play. Maybe one of my younger cousins can show me. Would that be pathetic? Do I really care? To add to the stress of my day, as I was just getting into Target to finish up my shopping day I get the following text message: I'm in big trouble. I'm going to be a dad! I've known for two weeks! I just didn't know how to tell you.

This is coming from my ex that I broke up with in late May. The same ex that texts me every week to tell me how much he loves me and misses me and basically wants to be my sex toy. Um… no. I see now that I have made the right decision on that front. Good luck… don’t invite me to the shower. AND, I had to leave Target… I love Target. I couldn’t concentrate on my love of Target with this hanging over me. He’s not telling me anything about the girl and says I don’t know her, which is probably not true cause if that were the case what would be the big deal in telling me who it is? I mean, I’m gonna find out anyway. I’m VERY resourceful. It shouldn’t bother me. I mean, I don’t love him the way he loves me and I broke up with him, but it’s really about the principle of the matter. And oh yeah, I’m supposed to feel bad for him because she told him she was on the shot. You don’t even like the girl that much but you trust her to be on birth control? Um…. yeah.. no. Use a condom you big moron. Made your bed, now lie in it. I don’t feel the slightest bit bad and you got laid… not taken advantage of. Grow up.

Ok, that’s my public service announcement for the day. I doubt you’ll be seeing it on PBS anytime soon but I gave it a shot! Today was one of those days where I considered jamming a pen in my eye (I’m a little bored) but then I realized it would screw up my laser eye surgery and I’m far from done paying for it. Therefore, I refrained. The other paralegal is on vacation this week so I thought I’d be swamped. Not so much. I feel a sick day coming on.

OOH… let’s talk about the Emmy’s: I’m most thrilled that Jeremy Piven finally won, although I do feel like he looked like he got rode hard and put away wet by the Queen of England. An ascot? I mean, we all know how much I adore him but even I couldn’t get down with that kind of neckwear. The Office won for best comedy which was very well deserved. Apparently there was a bit of a wardrobe malfunction on the part of Mindy Kaling but since I really didn’t see it, I don’t know how obvious it was. I’m sure she’ll get over it. Also, Grey’s Anatomy was shut out and it just might have been thanks to the heinous dress/hair pairing of Ellen Pompeo. Not a good choice. I know most people didn’t like Sandra Oh’s dress but I thought it was pretty. Would have been better without all that ghetto jewelry though. She looked like Mr. T threw up all over her. Katherine Heigl was certainly the belle of the ball. I mean, she looked phenomenal!! Dress, hair, everything was a “10.” That’s the best I can do as I missed most of the pre-show and had to switch back and forth because the series finale of Entourage was on. I could NOT miss that! PS - I love Jenna Fischer - throw Jim a bone and marry him instead of Roy!!!

Ok.. only an hour (give or take) to get some semblance of work done so I’ll call it a night. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Karma's a bitch

I deserved a heinous loss and pitiful display from Kris Benson considering what I said about Boof. But come on people. He legally changed his name from John to Boof. WHO DOES THAT? So, congrats to you Boof on a stellar game. I don’t know what else to say about it because I’m still stuck on the fact that he changed his name….. legally… Are you with me people?

Oh, what a day! I need a beer like Paris Hilton needs the morning after pill. Not only was I stalked by an attorney (no seriously - I think she has the hearing of a bat because I was waiting for a phone call and not two seconds after I got it, she was down here inquiring about it) but then, I played the “hurry up and wait” game, which is always fun. I probably shouldn’t have left the office to go to lunch with my friend Amy as I was playing the “wait” part, but damnit I was hungry and I had plans! Had a really good lunch at Blue 82 on Pearl Street and came back to the realization that I was NOT going to get yelled at for leaving. That’s always a nice thing to know considering I was anticipating getting my ass chewed out in the worst way. So, I’ve now spent the balance of the afternoon registering for Netflix and perusing the internet, explaining how I know Boof Bonser LEGALLY CHANGED HIS NAME!!!

So yeah, I’m gonna give Netflix a try. Everyone seems to rave about it and I rent a lot of movies as it is so I figured I’d give it a shot. My two week trial starts today so if I don’t like it, I can always quit, right? Although, it’ll be nice to rent some of the stuff I’ve never seen like The Godfather and Scarface (shut up - I know). Plus, I signed up for all the seasons of Rescue Me, Six Feet Under and Nip/Tuck. Granted, I’ve seen most every episode of Six Feet Under but it’s been a while and I really like that show. We’ll see if it gives me a reason to actually buy the seasons. I do like having shows on DVD for myself. I watch Sports Night all the time (the most underrated show in television history) and still laugh my ass off.

Last night was wing night and boy was it worth it! I had some naked seasoned wings and fries with cheese and gravy. Yep… I’m still not sure how I didn’t have a heart attack right at the table. I bought wings home for my sister and we watched the end of the Little League World Series game that was on. After that, J. showed up and my sister begged him to play beer pong. He agreed, but since he had to work at 4 am there was no drinking for him so I had to take one for the team. That was not good when we got our ass kicked the first game but luckily (much like darts), the drunker I get, the better I am. So, I think I got 5 of 6 cups the second game (we were lacking in cups so we only played 6 on a side) and then we won the third game. Then I went inside and passed out. Yep… I’m a great date. Oh yeah… it’s official. We’re dating now. I don’t really know what that encompasses or what it means but I guess that’s what happens when you hit the eight date mark. Yay me.

Time for me to go. My cell (that is not supposed to be on at work) is blowing up with calls and texts about tonight’s deck party at Meadowgreens which is a good sign. I’m looking forward to a good time, even if I have to drive (as usual). Anyway, everyone have a terrific weekend and I’ll keep you posted on my goings on in the near future.

And, it's over

Well, we lost our game last night. It’s a good thing, but kind of bittersweet. I mean, no one likes to lose but we were ready for it to be over. I’m not really one to toot my own horn but I ended up playing like a freaking all star last night. I was just hitting (as has been the case of late) but my cousin Chrissy got hurt so I had to step in and catch. I was “simply en fuego.” I seriously had the game of my life and thanks to a perfect throw from Fish we got this guy out at home, even with him trying to avoid the tag. It felt phenomenal, I’m not gonna lie! As a girl, there’s nothing like getting a guy out. It just feels good. Especially when a girl throws a rope and a girl tags you out. Awesome! But anyway, we’re finally done and I’m just looking forward to our team party. I think it’ll be one hell of a night if last year’s shindig is any indication!

Tonight’s pitching matchup between the O’s and the Twins: Kris Benson v. Boof Bonser. I shit you not. Apparently he’s a rookie whose parents really don’t love him so he better hope he does a great job. I mean, even if Boof is a nickname, how bad is your real name that you’re going to use BOOF as your professional name? I have to get to the bottom of this. I can see the signs already “WHERE’S THE BOOF?” I slay me…

Project Runway. Ok… we all know I love the snark, but Jeffrey has gone beyond snark to douchebag. I mean, I know Angela’s not the easiest person to deal with and since she sprang from her mother’s loins it’s pretty obvious that she’s gonna be a tad tough to take, but he made the lady cry. And look like a navy blue couch. I would have loved to have seen him get booted in part thanks to Angela. It would have been such a sweet revenge for her, although it doesn’t look like his mom being there helped his attitude. Just cause your son was once a crackhead doesn’t mean he has the right to be mean to “normal” sized people! AARRGH. I really threw stuff at the TV last night. I mean, what would have happened if his mom had been treated that way? Ok, well he probably would have knifed the designer with a broken bottle but you get my point. And oh yeah, Laura’s pregnant again. Birth control, look into it. I’m sorry, she’s just gross. Even I don’t like her anymore. I’m not saying she’s not talented, she just irritates me. It was Robert’s turn to leave the runway and I have to say, it was about time. I mean, he’s stunk it up the last few challenges so it was only a matter of time. I think that’s probably the only reason Jeffrey is still there: Robert’s track record. And oh yeah… VINCENT won the challenge. I still don’t understand how because Michael and Uli’s were eight bazillion times better than his, but I guess that goes with the whole “give a dog a bone” premise of the show. Christ, even Angela’s won a challenge. I hope Jeffrey doesn’t. PS - Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week and I can’t wait to get to my mailbox to see it on Saturday. I got a preview of it on www.bravotv.com, but there’s nothing like the real thing, am I right?

Now that softball is over it’s back to wing night. I seriously can’t wait! I’m hungry already and I won’t be eating for at least another couple of hours. I had to go to David’s Bridal on my lunch to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress for a wedding I’m in next June. Yeah… we don’t want to get those dresses too late, do we? Anyway, the dress was really pretty and looked nice on so I’m really glad. And I LOVE the shoes!! I think I raved about them from my friend Shannon’s wedding a few weeks ago so I’m so excited that we’ll be wearing them in this wedding. So, everything’s bought and paid for so if this wedding goes bust I’m gonna be pissed!!! It won’t. Kate and Brian have waited for nine years so I’m sure it’ll go off without a hitch. I’ve posted a picture of the dress for all the world to see. Hope Kate doesn’t mind.

Anyway, it’s time to leave work (yay) so everyone have a good night and look forward to your Friday!!!

Nick Marfuckingkakis

What more do I have to say to convince anyone? The kid blasted three home runs LAST NIGHT for the love of God! He’s been banging everything but $2 hookers since he got thrown into the #2 spot (cause he's not that kind of guy) and yes, we wonder why you didn’t do it sooner too, Sammy. Better late than never, right boys? Perhaps overlooked by Markakis’ performance, Adam Loewen threw a great game, allowing only one run and even LaTroy Hawkins didn’t f it up for him this time. And just for that, I’ve thrown in a little eye candy for the ladies. You’re welcome!

Went to see the Woody Allen flick “Scoop” last night. It wasn’t a bad way to spend the evening. Plus, it was bargain night so I got a movie, soda and popcorn for $10.67. THAT is why I go to the movies in Hudson and not Albany. Next week we’re going to see Little Miss Sunshine, which I’m anxiously awaiting but for now, back to last night. I’m still not sure if I like Scarlett Johannson. I think I’m just indifferent on her and her acting ability. I don’t hate her with the fire of a thousand suns like I do with Kirsten Dunst (even WITH “Bring it On” on her resume) but I just don’t know how I feel about her. Hugh Jackman was also in it (talk about eye candy) and the movie started out a little strange, but the premise was pretty decent. I haven’t seen a lot of Woody Allen flicks in my time so I don’t really have anything good to compare it to. I’m sure me and the five other people in the movie theater enjoyed it. There were some good laughs and Woody Allen and Scarlett Johansson work pretty well together. I guess she’s his new muse or something. She’s skinny, but at least she’s got a little meat on her bones. I don’t want to feed her a burger every time I see her so that’s a plus.

Mom, Dad and Tre are down in Williamsport for the Little League World Series today but they won’t get to see the Saudi team play because they lost to Venezuela in extra innings last night. It really was a heartbreaker. I had tears in my eyes just looking at these kids. I mean, who wants to see a 12 year old boy cry? It’s awful! Granted, I cry from the Maxwell House commercial where the kid comes home from the Army and wakes his family up with coffee, but still! It’s gutwrenching! So, I think they should see Venezuela play this afternoon and then Beaverton, OR later on. Tre likes the Oregon kids so that’s cool for her. I’m still bitter that I couldn’t go because of tonight’s softball game cause I’d have banged out of work!!! I mean, come one! The Little League World Series only comes around once a year and who knows if Ron will be umping in it ever again! I don’t know how it works.

Anyway, I really do have some work to do (I know, the excitement) but I couldn’t let the Nick Markakis thing go any longer than I did. Happy Hump Day to all and to all a good night.

Pooping at Work

I know, it’s an awful title for a post but there’s a story behind it that I had to share.

We’ve all gotten to that point where we’ve had to poop at work. Don’t deny it, it’s happened to everyone. Maybe it was the Taco Bell you had for lunch, or the 18 pack of Keystone Light you had the night before, but everyone’s stomach has backfired on them and forced them to drop the kids off at the pool while at work. You know how it goes… you make sure no one is in there and then you let loose… until you hear the door open. Then you have to hold it in and hope to God the other person will pee quickly and leave. Everyone’s been that “other person” in the bathroom too, whether you know it or not. It’s the absolute worst feeling in the world and we’ve all had it.

Last night I was sneaking out of work early to make it to my 6:00 ball game (it’s getting darker out earlier so we’re trying to start early as we are STILL in playoffs) and there’s someone in the bathroom when I walk in. So, I go into the handicapped stall and begin to change for my game. It is after I pee and change into my uniform that I realize there has been absolutely no sound from the other stall. No pee, no flush, nothing. I am the other person and I’m torturing the hell out of whoever is in the other stall. I admit, I felt awful about it but where else was I supposed to change? So, I hightail it out of the stall and gather up my stuff. I washed my hands real quick and hustled out of there. I mean, I still needed to put my hair back and such, but I thought I’d give this person the benefit of the doubt and I hope they were able to take care of business with little discomfort after I left! So, I apologize to the phantom pooper!

As you may have noticed, softball is still not over. We had to play at 3:30 on Saturday and we lost to a team we shouldn’t have because no one hit the ball and we had a bajillion errors. For those non-softball types, that’s a lot! We then had to play at 8 am on Sunday. It poured the entire night so I left my phone on in anticipation of the rain out call that never came. So, a bagel sandwich and some doughnuts later we won 23-2. Hitting was obviously not a problem for us that day. Maybe we should always play at 8 am! Anyway, we then had to play last night and we won 6-1. The team we play tomorrow night is a team we beat our first game of the season but if we continue to not hit, we’ll lose. They’re good and we’re at that point where we either want to be out of it or win the whole thing. I’ve gotten the nickname of Giambi (I’m not happy about it) because I’ve been hitting the ball wicked hard lately and I’ve been the extra hitter a lot. I guess they finally caught on to my Chuck Knoblauch-esque infielding. Bastards.

My parents next door neighbor is one of the umpires at the Little League World Series and he had one of the games with the Saudi Arabian team. I LOVE them! I’m a huge Aaron Durley fan and I love the fact that they all dye their hair blonde for the tournament. I really would like to see them win, even though they’re really not an American team. I mean, all but one are American citizens so I guess that’s something. They’re just a really great team and fun to watch. So, my parents and sister are headed to Williamsport tomorrow to catch a few of the games. If I didn’t have aforementioned softball game, I’d be going also. Now I’m just a dog sitter. Ok, not even that because I don’t have time to watch the baby… Maybe I’ll go get him when I get home and he can snuggle with me and keep the boogie man away.

I spent my first night alone in the house this past weekend and it was far from fun. It was Saturday night, when the wind was howling and the rain was insane. Stupid me left the window open and I heard EVERYTHING. I swear a car door slammed at midnight and I looked outside and saw nothing. Paranoid much? I was up for hours. J. called around 1 and tried to talk me off my ledge but even that wasn’t helpful. I finally just crashed as best as I could. To answer any questions, J. and I have gone on 7 dates in less than three weeks. I guess that means things are going well, am I right? We went to Mexican Radio for dinner Friday night and then I subjected him to Melino’s for the first time. Come on, it’s a rite of passage!!! As always, I shall keep you posted until he gets wind of this blog and his presence on it!

I feel old. Both my cousins are leaving for college in the next week or so. One is going to New Paltz and the other to Siena. Granted, they’re not far away, but it’s the principle of the thing. They were too young to enjoy visiting me in college and now I’m too old. That’s depressing! But anyway, good luck L & L!

Ok, I’ve wasted enough time but I just really needed to get that story out before I forgot about it. Haven’t been home so no good TV/Movie news, although I am going to see Scoop tonight. We’ll see how it is. I don’t really care, I’m just lacking in popcorn. And for those of you who are worried about my diet (or lack thereof) I direct you to this article. I’m gonna live! (More on my eating habits to come in another blog, I promise).

I got this picture in my inbox today and thought I should share it with the world. I don't know how Gap would feel about it, but consider it free advertising... I LOVE GAP T-SHIRTS!!!

Just a quickie

I've been saying that I would post pictures for the last week or so but things have been pretty crazy in the last couple of weeks. So, here is a picture of me, Tre, Jen and Fish at our first bar stop on our way to Yankee Stadium on mine and Tre's birthday. Next to that, I've posted a picture of me, Tre and the heckler that I managed to befriend with my feminine wiles.... or my boobs. Whatever.

How come every time you come around....

Well, it’s official. The Orioles have turned against me. I mean, they take two of three from the Yankees, yet can’t win when I’m at Yankee Stadium to celebrate my 30th birthday. What have I done to deserve that? Granted, I haven’t been the most optimistic fan of late, but I can’t be the only one! I acknowledge the bright spots (Nick Markakis, Corey Patterson, etc.) but in doing so it’s only right for me to show my utter disdain for the rest (the bullpen, Peter Angelos, etc.). So, come back to me my Oriole friends. Don’t make me cover that tattoo with the ancient Chinese symbol for victory. Granted, I don’t know what that symbol is and one tattoo is enough for me so really it’s just an empty threat, but it made me feel good to make it. Regardless of our issues, my boys DID pull out two wins against the Yanks and I couldn’t be prouder. Although, there’s an ass whooping just waiting for LaTroy Hawkins cause everything was going fine Tuesday night until he came in. However, I’m not one to blame so we’ll let that go.

Remember the tiredness of yesterday’s post? Yeah, not over it yet. J. came over and we watched Shaun of the Dead. It was pretty funny and an entertaining spoof on the zombie genre. I had caught a bit of it last week on HBO so I was glad he bought it down with him and I got the opportunity to watch the whole thing. He also bought down Team America: World Police so I’m going to try to watch that this weekend also. Tonight I plan on having birthday cake with my parents, doing some laundry, maybe painting my toenails and getting a well deserved full night of sleep! Luckily, I’m pretty confident that the alarm clock is going to work (I’ve almost figured it out) so I’ve been able to sleep a tad more sound since last week.

I did NOT get to watch Project Runway but I did hear that Allison got booted and that upset me. I mean, Robert sucks it up two weeks in a row and gets saved both times. Angela and Vincent are train wrecks yet keep pushing forward. Allison has one off week (and seriously, everything else she’s done has been lauded as nothing short of fantastic) and she’s gone. I really thought she was going to make it pretty far. I also heard that Laura’s been a bit of a uberbitch this episode and I can’t wait to see it. Granted, her freakish body type and flapper like style irritate me, but it’s pretty much a given that I’m gonna root for the bitch. I just always thought it’d be Keith and not Laura!

Check the blog, kids. I called it! Benji won Dancing with the Stars and Travis came in second. He really is a talented guy and I’m sure he’ll be dancing with Celine for some time to come. I’m kind of intrigued to see the tour but I’m afraid I didn’t get tickets when they went on sale so I won’t be attending. A couple people from work will be going so I’m sure they’ll let me know what it was like. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dance “concert” (besides Riverdance) so I’m curious as to how it’ll be staged and all that jazz. I think Benji was the perfect choice considering the prize, but I have a feeling there’ll be bigger things in his future.

This has most certainly been the longest week of my life. Isn’t it always like that when you have a day off in there somewhere? I considered banging in late this morning cause I was still exhausted. So overtired that I really couldn’t sleep. But I took one for the team and decided to come in. God knows I couldn’t have missed the 4 pm fire drill. I really should have taken all my stuff with me and just snuck off as everyone was going back into the building but I’m not ballsy enough (believe it or not).

I believe tonight ABC is airing the Super Bowl editions of Grey’s Anatomy. I’m a huge fan of the show, but damned if I can remember what those episodes are. I know they were a two parter and I’m assuming it’s the one where the guy had the bomb stuck in his chest cavity, but I’m not sure. If that’s the case, that WAS a good episode and if I can stay awake long enough, I’ll certainly be watching it. I’m still not happy about this whole move to Thursday for Grey’s. They were the cornerstone of my Sunday night. I mean, I’m almost ALWAYS home on Sunday. Thursday: not so much.

I spent today listening to Yahoo! Music instead of my Ipod cause I really need to change the songs on it and I’m getting bored with the same shit over and over again. So, I’m going to take this opportunity to wax poetic about the newest releases:

Justin Timberlake: Sexyback - The song doesn’t sound a bit like him, but I think it’s got a great beat and I jam to it every time it’s on. When someone asks me what I’m doing tonight I’ve taken the liberty of saying “I’m bringing sexy back.”
Fergie: London Bride - I don’t hate a band more than the Black Eyed Peas. I don’t know why, I just do. But this song is a catchy little ditty and as much as I didn’t want to I found myself wanting to go down like London Bridge.
Paris Hilton: Stars Are Blind - I can’t listen to this song. It goes against everything I stand for. 1) it’s Paris Hilton and 2) I always think it’s “The Tide is High” by Blondie and then I’m even more disappointed when I realize I gave it a chance.
Gnarls Barkley: Crazy - The first time I heard this song I liked it. That rarely happens to me. Most of the time songs have to grow on me until I find myself not able to get it out of my head, much like the original cast recording of Rent. Today I heard their cover of Gone Daddy Gone and that was pretty awesome too. What can I say? I dig the Gnarls Barkley. I mean, great song and great name. What more could a girl ask for?
Evanescence: Call Me When You’re Sober - Nuff said. It should be every girl’s theme song.

Tomorrow’s Friday. Oh Happy Day!

Inter-species Erotica

I know it’s wrong, but I’m too exhausted to work. I even tried to take a cat nap in the ladies room, but it wasn’t as comfortable as one would think. Let me explain:

I had taken Friday off to prepare for the party and just get the house ready. We set up chairs, tables, decorated a slight bit and cleaned the interior of the house as best we could. I mean, what’s the point? People were going to be trudging through all day anyway so why waste my energy? I got a call from J. on Friday night so I went up to hang with him. We watched Hackers, my choice and one of my faves. What can I say? I have a soft spot in my heart for Angelina Jolie before all the hype. Anyway, no details for the masses, but things are going pretty well. We discussed the smoking thing and he’s gone to great lengths to not to it around me, if at all. I can deal with that for now. So, I got home kinda late Friday night and had to be up to get to my haircut by 9:30 Saturday morning. The rest of the day was spent preparing for the party and (believe it or not) COOKING! I made my mother’s homemade macaroni and cheese and it wasn’t that bad. I think I did quite good! I got compliments on it and if people only told me it was good because it was my birthday, well that’s fine too! Anyway, Saturday was the party and I think it was a great success. It was great to see some of my friends who aren’t local be able to make it (you know who you are) and have a good time! I can’t say I felt fabulous when the chimney people came to do some work around 11 on Saturday morning, but I wasn’t feeling terrible! Or so I thought. We did a lot of cleaning (and there is still cleaning to be done…. maybe tomorrow) and then I had to get out of the house to go to my ball game. I know, I’m glutton for punishment. So, it’s a beautiful day.. I’m sweating out alcohol and I had just eaten Wendy’s because it’s SUPPOSED to make me feel better. Yeah… I’m catching and halfway through the game I feel like that guy in Alien who has the thing come through his stomach. Not good. I manage to make it through the game and just want to go home and go to sleep but alas, J. calls to see if I want to come over and hang out. You all remember that honeymoon phase of the relationship where you’re afraid if you say no they’ll forget about you? Yeah… that’s where we are. So, I went home, took a shower and made it to his place by about 9ish… I got home around 1. Then got up to work on Monday. Oh no, it’s not over!

Monday night we went to see Clerks II (hence, the title of this post). HYSTERICAL! I love me some Kevin Smith and this movie is a noble bow to the first movie. You didn’t need to see the first one to like it, but it would help you to get some of the inside jokes. Two words: pillow pants. See the movie, read this blog again, and laugh your ass off. His wife is a terrible actress so she better never leave him cause I doubt she’ll get another job anywhere, unless it’s in the View Askewniverse. So I didn’t get home till 11 that night and had to get up early on Tuesday morning. I only worked from 8-12 because yesterday me, my sister and two of our friends went to the Yankee-Orioles game for mine and Tre’s birthday (which was yesterday - we’re 30 - oh good god). So, we left around 2 and had some road sodas.. then hit all the bars from our parking garage to the bleachers. We got in the bleachers and we were in the “family” section. Probably not a good idea. So, Tre, Jen and some douchebag Tre met go to see if they can get in the drinking section. Well, I had to go to the bathroom so when I come out, Jen tells me to stand where I am. This is because she managed to bribe an usher to let us into the drinking section. $5 per person later and there we are.. beers in hand. It’s not over though. This guy also got us seats right behind the foul pole in right field which was way better than our crowded seats out in center field. So, I got heckled by a Yankee fan who wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom, but when I got back I put him in a headlock (which he seemed to like) and harassed me in a funny way the whole game. It was fun! Thanks to the O’s bullpen (as usual) we lost 6-3 regardless of the solid outing from Erik Bedard. So, last night we didn’t get home until about 1:15 and I had to get up for work at 6:45. Since my alarm clock isn’t necessarily working quite the way I’d hoped (or at least I’m not sure how to make it work) I was kinda sleeping with one ear open anyway so I slept like shit. I made it to work, bloodshot eyes and all and thought everything was going ok. That is, until we went to lunch at our favorite diner. It’s a beautiful day so we sat outside and I had a cheese omelet. YUMMY! About an hour and a half after that, I get called by my friend Lacey and I walk into the kitchen to find everyone getting ready to have cake for my birthday. Lacey (good listener that she is) got me a cheesecake which was scrumptious, but now I’m languishing in the most obscene food coma the world has ever witnessed. One more hour here and I don’t know how I’ll deal. That, and tonight is our last regular season ball game. I might die. Oh yeah, and J. is coming down to watch a movie tonight… or watch me sleep cause that’s more than likely what will happen. Poor guy. So, luckily the minute he leaves I can go to sleep instead of drive home. That’s a plus, right?

So, there’s your explanation. A little compassion please!

The finale of So You Think You Can Dance is on tonight and they will finally unveil the winner of the prime spot in Celine Dion’s Vegas extravaganza.! I’m curious as to who’s going to win because I think everyone but Donyelle is worthy. Honestly, I think it’ll be Benji. I think he and Celine would get along tres magnifique! Tonight is also another episode of Project Runway and the cattiness is coming out. I wish I had more to say but my brain is like Bradley’s outfit from last week: shiny, but not worth much.

Thanks for being patient with me and hopefully I’ll be back on track after a night or two of sleep! Happy Hump Day!

The time has come, the walrus said

First night was a success. As you can see from the picture, my curtains came in and while they’re not quite what I thought they were, they are pretty and will do the job. I unpacked every single box that I had to unpack for the upstairs, although I’m a tad perturbed because I still haven’t been able to find my tap shoes. I don’t know where they could have gone. I don’t know if you can adequately see my new clock radio but it’s supposed to be able to wake you up to your Ipod. The directions were great as far as setting the alarm time, but not so much for setting the actual alarm. Therefore, it didn’t work this morning but I think it might have been my fault because I had my Ipod on hold. It’s nice to use it as a charging dock regardless. We’ll have to see if me and my electronically challenged mind can figure it out. This room is bigger than anything I’ve ever had so I’m not used to having that much space to move around in. It’s gonna take some getting used to. LOVE my new bed spread and the lamp is a smashing success. Thanks to everyone who’s helped us out, be it painting, scraping or just plain bringing beer!

I got to see just a smidge of So You Think You Can Dance and while I find it creepy when Heidi and Benji dance together, their final number was a showstopper. I have absolutely no idea who will win, but it won’t be Donyelle. She’s just not strong enough and when she dances next to Heidi she pales in comparison. I think Travis and Benji are kind of evenly matched, but there’s something about Benji that makes me think he’ll win the whole shooting match. Unfortunately, we have to stay tuned until next week to find out who the big winner (cause there’s only one - thanks Katie) will be!

As for winners, your Last Comic Standing is Josh Blue. What the fuck is wrong with you America? I get it, he has cerebral palsy and we feel bad for him. Yes, he’s funny, but I really didn’t America had that much compassion to name him the winner. In all honesty, I don’t find him funny at all and never thought he was gonna make it through the first round. Whatever, in a year or so no one’s gonna remember his name anyway (I watched LCS religiously and I barely remember what the last winner’s name was). I remember the names of lots of the comedians that were on it last season, but I drew a blank on the winner (John Heffron) for a good ten minutes. So, welcome to your future Josh Blue, and congrats! In more reality TV news, Theo of Road Rules and MTV Challenges fame, won the online competition. I was hoping he would win, mainly because he always made me laugh during the challenges with his sarcastic and sometimes nonsensical wit. So, congrats to him too. Maybe now he can get an almost real career and stop competing on those damn challenges (which glue me to my TV screen every week - damn you MTV).

It’s Project Runway day: Bradley has finally met his maker, as he probably should have weeks ago. The job was to update a fashion icon. Bradley got Cher. Do you have any idea what that means? He could have sent his model down the runway in pasties and a cork and Michael Kors would have praised it as something Cher definitely would have worn. Ok.. maybe Vera Wang would have, but you get my point. Instead he sends her down in some lame alien looking shirt and white pants. Um… no. Robert was once again in the bottom two for being boring. It was so boring that I don’t even remember what icon he had. The winner did not get immunity this week and I believe that’s because there was a twist this week in that the models got to choose the designer AND the icon. I thought for sure that Kayne was gonna win, but turns out they chose Michael’s nod to Pam Grier. Both designs were impressive and it figures Michael won on the non-immunity week. Maybe because Kayne already won for the Miss USA dress. I don’t know. Anyway, Laura is becoming a bit of a crusty bitch and I’m so digging it. It’s like Angela is the smelly kid in the class and everyone picks on her. God is she ever gonna rub it in their faces if she gets further than any of them. I’m still gunning for Allison and Uli in the top 3 but I’ve yet to figure out my third choice. Probably who ever shows the most snark factor and right now it might be between Jeffrey and Laura, or as Keith called her (RIP Keith - who’s definitely gay btw), Mean Mommy. I LOVE IT! Viva la Project Runway!

So, breakups are the thing in Hollywood these days. MTV is 3 for 3 with their “love themed” reality shows as Travis Barker of Blink 182 and Shanna Moakler have called it quits. I’m pretty surprised by this one, only because they were always so on top of each other and professed their love by the minute, so it seems. Perhaps that is the kiss of death. I’m now going to continue my search for the perfect man: Not a drop of PDA and completely noncommittal. Yep, that’s my guy. I don’t know, there was something so wrong about their relationship (looks wise) that I really thought it was going to work. I was surprised to find out what a sap he is and perhaps after watching the show, he won’t have much trouble finding another woman, despite the baggage. Maybe now poor little Atiana will get some attention from someone other than her nanny. I mean, am I the only one that felt bad for her? Once the new baby came it was like that kid didn’t exist. Also in reality TV world: LC of Laguna Beach and The Hills finally called it quits with her crackhead, half retarded boyfriend Jason. I really hope that whole internship in Paris thing was a crock of shit or else she must be throwing herself off a bridge right now. Not to be outdone, Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner have gone their separate ways. Who? My point exactly.

Couple more hours to waste before I can hightail it to the ball game, my first one in what seems like weeks! Like I needed help playing like Chuck Knoblauch! In baseball news, ex-Yankee Ricky Ledee was traded to the Mets. I saw him play in his first game ever against the Orioles. He’s an ugly mother fucker but I like him just the same. The O’s lost another one yesterday and today is an off day. Two monstrous series are coming up: Boston this weekend, and the Yanks during the week (at which I will be present on Tuesday the 15th). I think it’s only right that the O’s wipe the floor with the Sox on Saturday since technically it’s my birthday party and then they should kick some Yankee ass on Tuesday since it’s my birthday. All in favor?

Anyway, I should do some work today, although I’ve been pretty good at making myself look busy. Today is my Friday as I have tomorrow off to get some house stuff done and prepare for Nytropalooza. I’m sure pictures will be forthcoming. If I don’t get a chance to blog, have a great weekend!!!

I'm too tired to think of a witty title

I wish I had something to write, but I really don’t. I’ve spent the last two nights coming home from work, packing, then going to the house and unpacking. I’m pretty happy with the way things look and I can’t wait to get in. I loathe moving. I mean, it’s not like anyone really enjoys moving but I’m bad at it. I’m your stereotypical girl. I have absolutely no muscle therefore, am no real help. So, I prefer to clean and organize. Tomorrow the kitchen floor is going in and so is the rest of our stuff. Preferably before I get home from work. I know, it’s an awful attitude to take but I can guarantee it’s best for everyone.

Another update: I’ve talked to J. a few times via email and phone and things are going relatively well. We did decide that we would like to “hang out” again (whatever that means) so I guess that’s a step in the right direction. I’m laying off the smoking thing for the moment. I mean, it’s really unfair to say to someone you’ve barely been on a date with “hey… it’d be great if you could quit your addictive behavior. I’m sure it’ll be a piece of cake” I think a little bit of time is in order. We shall see what happens.

Well, the O’s beat the Blue Jays 8-4 and believe it or not, Cabrera pitched. Markakis went 2-4 with a home run and Tejada contributed a solo shot as well. I will get down on my hands and knees and (get your minds out of the gutter) beg and plead to keep Tejada in Baltimore, along with Roberts, Mora and Markakis. I’m pretty sure if Tejada goes, Roberts won’t be far behind him and I’m so not having that. Baltimore needs a (kinda) hometown hero and I want it to be B-Rob. Who’s with me?

Franco’s new girlfriend has a retarded brother on Rescue Me. One of the guys asks if he’s “rain man retarded or Paris Hilton retarded.” How can you not love these writers? I believe the answer was Paris Hilton retarded only because the brother can function and pee on his own. And I don’t want Probie to go. His douchebag buddy outed him at the firehouse last week and now he’s getting ragged on for being gay. I mean, he experimented (as a blow job receiver, not giver) and decided he likes girls. Now he’s getting harassed at work and wants to transfer, which honestly, I can’t blame him. But I don’t like it one bit and he can’t go. Maybe by the time the episode is over things will change, but I doubt I’ll be awake long enough to find out.

Time to pack up my shoes and go to bed. I may be MIA for a few days until I can get my computer up and running at home. If so, I’ll be SURE to post my Project Runway thoughts from work on Thursday, as long as you promise not to tell that I’m using work time for my (and your) entertainment.

Why does that dress look familiar?

Yes, you've seen that dress before. It's the bridesmaid dress from the wedding I was in back in July. Hey, if you pay $225 for a dress, you have every right to wear it as often as you can! I never imagined that someone from the last wedding would be at this wedding but as luck would have it, the best man from the last one was also at this one. So, he cracked on me the whole time about the dress but that's ok. It fit and was a nice change from the sea of black dresses that usually populate a wedding reception.

The wedding was such a great time. Shannon was the most beautiful bride and I think everyone had a great time! I danced a lot, drank some more and as always, made friends with the bartenders! They are good people to know because I was never without a drink and most of the time, I had two. I was back at Chez Kenny around 11:30, ate pizza and little smokes, watched some of Pulp Fiction and was asleep by midnight. I could have stayed longer, but it’s probably a good thing I didn’t. This morning was a little hairy, but Dad made breakfast (what should be the last) and that always helps!

I have yet to take a nap so forgive me if my stream of consciousness is a little sketchy! I ordered my curtains online, changed my address and then it was time to go pick up the futon I had bought. My sister’s co-worker sold it to me for $50 and it’s in great condition so it was one hell of a deal. It looks great in the spare room and it’s relatively comfortable to sit on. I don’t know about sleeping on it, but I’m sure someone will use it next weekend so we’ll find out! I brought some stuff over to the house but god sidetracked when a few friends showed up to see the house. I SHOULD have gone back to the house tonight but instead I got some stuff out of the attic and got it ready to go to the house tomorrow. I wanted to go to Counting Crows/Goo Goo Dolls but Sarah has a ball game so she had to bail on me. It’s probably for the best because I really do need to do some things at the house the next two nights so Wednesday can be our first night in the new place. I’m so damn anxious. Once I was walking around today and saw how well “the lamp” looked, I was so motivated to move everything in!! I admit, I lost that drive but I still can’t wait to get in there. Just a few days! Shit… then what am I going to talk about?!

Here’s what you’ve all been waiting for: Details on the pseudo blind date. I met up with Lacey and her friend Mike around 7:30 on Friday. Mike’s family owns a farm in Schodack and they have llamas, which sometimes you can see from I-90. So, Mike knew I was a fan and bought me over to see them. It gave me weird Catskill Game Farm flashbacks, but in a good way. I was so excited!! After that, we continued to J’s house where we finally got to meet. He’s a nice guy and pretty easy on the eyes, which is never a bad thing! Lol.. So, J’s roomie has this dog who let out what I can only describe as a fart reminiscent of an A-Bomb. This thing cleared the room in 2.5 seconds. So, we’re all outside and pretty much everyone but me pulls out cigarettes. For those of you who don’t know me very well, a guy that smokes is pretty much a deal breaker for me. I just don’t find it attractive to kiss someone whose mouth tastes like an ashtray!! I don’t lecture those who do it, but it doesn’t mean I need to completely tolerate it either. Plus, both my maternal grandparents died of lung cancer so I hold a bit of a bias. Anyway, so that turned me off which sucked cause we were getting along pretty well I think. Then again, what the hell do I know!? So, we decide to go see Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, which had its funny moments, but it’s no Anchorman. Then again, I hated Anchorman the first time I saw it so that might not really be a good way to describe the movie! Anyway, after the movie we headed back to Mike’s house (where my car was parked) and we all hung out for a little while longer. Two other guys showed up and since it was getting late, I decided to leave. Leaving was so insanely awkward cause it was all these people I didn’t know and what was I supposed to do? I think I might have slapped him goodbye or something! Lol.. I should know what to do by now, but I really didn’t. So, I have no idea what this kid thought of me and God know what he thinks I thought of him since I basically left and that was it! Lol.. Oh well, I guess that’s what dating is all about. So, in a nutshell; he’s a nice, cute guy and we just basically gave each other shit the entire night which I think was better than things being awkward cause it really wasn’t at all until the end! I’ll keep you posted if there’s anything to keep you posted on!

So, that was my weekend. Never long enough but that’s the story of my life! I hope everyone had a great weekend and try hard to make it through your Monday!!

Where do I begin?

I turn 30 in exactly 12 days (depending on when you read this) and since I got my sister what can only be described as the most kick-ass 30th birthday present (which I can’t tell you about on the off chance she’ll read this blog – the VERY off chance), I think it’s only fair of me to put my own birthday wish list together.

Tickets to a Broadway show (preferably the revival of A Chorus Line)
Window mount for my XM radio
Movie tickets (I like going to the movies)
Gift cards to Pier One or other such stores
Plane tickets (to anywhere –I’m not picky)
Jewelry – chicks dig jewels. I’ve had one guy give me jewelry and it was a watch. I’m not really sure what that means.

Ok… I’m kidding just a little bit but hell, you only turn 30 once so I might as well try to milk it for all it’s worth, am I right?

Last night I auditioned to dance in a local production of the Will Rogers Follies. I say I auditioned, but really I showed up and that seemed to be enough. It was me and three other girls that I used to dance with so I’m pretty sure I’m gonna make it. However, I’m not gonna lie. I’m rusty! I really didn’t think I was, but I realized that I am. I mean, when I was dancing on a regular basis I could pick things up like it was nobody’s business. I really had trouble last night. Not necessarily picking things up, but keeping it in my head. I guess I should give myself a break considering I haven’t put a pair of tap shoes on in two years, but it’s not my style and I expect more. I guess it’ll just be getting back into the swing of things. That and finding my own tap shoes that are somewhere in storage. I had to borrow my cousin Lindsey’s! Anyway, I’ll keep you updated on the show. They don’t have a leading man as of yet so I’m not 100% sure it’s going to even get off the ground!

So, I couldn’t post last night because I was kinda busy. Near the end of So You Think You Can Dance (more on that later) I got a phone call… from a boy. I’m not gonna lie – I considered not answering the phone because Project Runway was coming up, but I answered it anyway. Anyway, the story is this: My friend from work has decided she wants to hook me up, which is not a terrible thing. She’s been trying to do this for about two weeks and it just hasn’t happened so this week she decided she would make it happen. I didn’t really want to do a blind date thing (which really isn’t fair cause I’ve seen pics of him, but he not of me – hi awkward) so she decided we were going to get a group together and do something. So, as of tomorrow night, we’re going mini golfing and to a movie. I met Lacey’s man today (he’s adorable) so at least I’ll know someone but her, which is a plus. I’ve also emailed with this guy (we’ll call him J.) and we had a pretty decent conversation last night. He’s younger than me (and honestly, that’s usually not my thing) but I’m not getting any younger so why not give it a shot! Lol.. So, basically what I’m trying to say is that I’ve got a pseudo blind date tomorrow night and we’ll see how it goes.

Ok.. back to business. PROJECT RUNWAY! I admit, I was on the phone for most of it, but I got the gist. Keith did get booted, but not for the reason they made it out to be. I had heard tons of rumors that he stole his designs from another designer but it seems he got booted for having how-to books under his bed. How were the producers alerted to this? Kayne, the pageant queen. God, that should make for one hell of a reunion special, don’t you agree?! I can’t wait!!! Anyway, apparently he also left the production for a few hours and used the internet, two things that aren’t allowed. So basically, he made his bed and needs to lie in it; just no longer at the Atlas Hotel. No one really seemed sorry to see him go (at least not from what I saw – he WAS a bit of a diva) but the show must go on! On the runway the two teams with the highest votes were (can you believe it?) Angela’s (who somehow got to be the team leader even with her lame ass sketch that is now being sold on a t-shirt at Macy’s – it is NOT on my birthday list) and what used to be Keith’s group, which includes Allison and Jeffrey. Honestly, I liked Angela’s outfit and it really kills me to say that. I don’t know, she just rubs me the wrong way and as much as I didn’t like the people she conflicted with, I didn’t like her either! Well, the two top teams were told they would have to go to Macy’s the next day to see who won the challenge (ooh, the anticipation) and were dismissed. The bottom two teams, led by Robert (Barbie) and Bonnie (Nike) had to explain themselves. I was just saying last week that I liked Bonnie and thought she was doing a really good job of flying under the radar, but she killed it this week (and not in the good way) with the most heinous, ill-fitting pants I’ve ever seen. Needless to say, Bonnie bit the big one and had to go home. Next week it looks like Jeffrey’s going to take on the bitchy diva role and allow Angela to become someone’s prey. Do we see a trend? I can’t wait!

All I can say about So You Think You Can Dance is that my ideal final four are Natalie, Heidi (again, hurts me to write it), Benji and Travis. I would like Natalie and Travis to win. Oh wait.. does only one of them win? I don’t remember. Anyway, it’s way past time for Donyelle to go home and Ivan just isn’t as charismatic or as trained as the other two, in my opinion. Then again, I just told you how rusty I am so do you really trust my dancing judgment? I want to smack Mary Murphy almost as much as I want to give Paula Abdul a muscle relaxer during the AI judging. Anyway, I’m actually watching the results show as we speak but I’m watching Omarion perform and god knows if I’ll still be writing in 15-20 minutes when they announce who’s going home. If I am, I’ll make an update, I promise!

I went to see the movie John Tucker Must Die tonight. It was pretty entertaining. I liked Brittany Snow from when she was on American Dreams and the abs on that girl are insane! You would never know they were underneath her clothes unless that was a really good makeup job. But anyway, the movie was pretty funny and I’m happy to say we weren’t the oldest people in the studio. Plus, I got popcorn for dinner and I never complain about that.

I came across something wonderful yesterday: Peanut Butter M&M’s. Oh my god, they’re like eating a piece of heaven. I think I’m addicted to them and if you like peanut butter, you will be too! Granted, they’re basically Reese’s Pieces, but they’re chewier. Try them my blogging minions, try them!!

Hmm.. what else? Today I was listening to my Ipod at work and was perturbed because I could see it was playing, but I couldn’t hear anything. I checked the settings and I even checked to make sure my headphones were plugged in all the way (they were). I probably should have checked to see if the headphones were in my ear because they weren’t. Note to self: if the headphones are not in your ear, it’s more than likely you won’t be able to hear the music. It’s been a long week.

O’s lost a heartbreaker last night, 2-1 to the Mariners and Brian Roberts got ejected from the game for the first time in his career, apparently for arguing balls and strikes. I’m sorry, but it had to be pretty bad for him to say something cause from what I’ve seen, he’s not the most vocal guy. Javy Lopez was put on waivers, not that it really means anything but hey, we’ll see what happens. I can’t seem to find any scores for tonight, and in all honesty, I’m not sure the O’s are playing tonight which could make it difficult! What can I say? I can’t be the only one who’s getting a little bored with the season considering we’re out of it! I’m not afraid to admit it.

Ok – it’s results time: Natalie’s going home which is complete bullshit and America basically gave the competition to Heidi cause there is no way Donyelle compares to her. I can’t bitch because I meant to vote but didn’t (I did the same thing to Chris Daughtry so I’m an equal opportunity non-voter). It’s probably best for Natalie cause the winner gets to dance in Celine Dion’s Vegas show and I’m not sure if that’s a punishment or prize for her. She can do so much more and I certainly hope she does! As for the boy’s Travis is safe (YAY) so it’s just a matter of minutes before I find out if I was half right tonight (after the break of course).

Barry Bonds 715th home run ball sold for $220,100 on Ebay. I hope most of that money goes to a good cause, like the insurmountable legal fees he’s caused for all those involved in his run for this record. Just my opinion.

I was right! Ivan is going home, as well he should. So, I really don’t know who to predict as winners because Benji really is talented, even though I like Travis more. I can’t pick one person to win (nor do I know if I have to) so I guess we have to just wait and see what happens next week. Stop crying Travis!!!!

Ok, time for the finals of the World Series of Pop Culture (priorities). Night all!

Happy Birthday MTV!

I was only (almost) 5 years old when MTV debuted, but I actually remember when they played videos. Anyone else? For those of you who know me, you know I’m addicted to most MTV reality shows, but I still wish they played a video anytime other than TRL. Regardless, Happy 25th Birthday to MTV and all that goes along with it.

The O’s suffered a 10-5 loss last night but my two favorite boys contributed home runs, B-Rob’s all the way to Eutaw Street. And oh yeah, we all know I love me some Javy (ok… I love me some Javy ass) but I really wish he’d show more of that and shut the fuck up. You couldn’t handle first base and you’re not that great a catcher anymore so no, you’re not playing on a regular basis. VERY observant. Regardless of that fact, it’s not something you need to broadcast to the world. Do the Orioles even have a public relations department because it sure seems like anyone on the team that speaks to the press sounds like an absolute moron or fucks themselves. Speaking of Lopez(es), Rodrigo pitched 7.2 innings and got the win in a 2-0 defeat of the Seattle Mariners. Markakis and Mora contributed the two necessary RBI’s and again, take that Markakis naysayers.

I made a wonderful discovery today and that was the Real World/Road Rules blog. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure this out, especially considering it’s on blogspot. I actually spent the last half hour of work today (don’t tell) perusing web sites of former Real Worlders. I got bored with it pretty quickly, but considering I don’t have the time to commit (or energy to care) about what’s going on with every single alumni of the two shows, it’s pretty nice to have one place to go to get all my news. I’m still a little stunned by all the incestuous relationships between these people (and how they score with models considering they have no real jobs) but hey… take the opportunities you can get, I guess. So, as appalled as I am at myself, I am still quite happy with my find. Deal with it.

However, I made a much more interesting find on the internet today. Not only is there a Dwight Schrute bobblehead (which will look adorable on my desk next to my Brian Roberts celebration bobblehead – ya know, once they fix that coloring issue) but the next best thing has come: A Tim Gunn bobblehead doll. It actually looks like him and the stand it’s on says “Make it Work.” I must have one.

I really love Rescue Me. I haven’t been around to watch it the last few weeks, but the first few minutes of tonight’s show was absolutely priceless and reminded me why it’s one of the funniest and entertaining shows on television.

House update: My rug is on backorder, the sink won’t work and my shelves don’t fit. But I did buy new sheets today because you can’t go into a new house with old sheets. It’s just not right. My sister has finally resigned herself to the fact that we won’t be in the house this weekend like we’d hoped, but I believe all the stuff will be out of storage this weekend, which is a step in the right direction. Now all we’ll have to do is take our bedroom stuff over to the house during the week next week. We will BARELY be in before Nytropalooza but I guess barely is better than not at all, am I right?

Time for bed