Oh, the disappointment

No pictures. I was too busy drinking, talking and playing games of beer pong to take any. Ok, that’s a lie. I do have a great picture of Amy passed out on the couch just prior to her hour and a half puking tirade but I thought it’d be best to keep that one to myself. Anyway, had a great time, good breakfast and a hellish drive home. Had to stop and take a slight nap so I could finish up the drive. I felt pretty good when I got up that morning but the longer the day went on, the more tired I got. A cat nap and some Red Bull and I felt like a new person. Still pretty exhausted though and can’t wait to go to bed. I might even have to miss Entourage tonight and we all know how much I hate skipping my weekly dose of Jeremy Piven.

I’ve spent the last twenty minutes being distracted by the movie XXX (no, not porn – just Vin Diesel) so that’s probably a pretty good indication that I should just go the hell to bed. Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Live Free or Die

In honor of my jaunt to New Hampshire tomorrow, I figured I'd post this picture of me, Amy and Eryn before Brandi's wedding last month. Now all we have to do is make it to Boston to visit Amy and it'll be one hell of a trifecta! I'm looking forward to getting the hell out of town and relaxing with those guys. It's gonna be a great time and I will be armed with my camera and beer. I can only imagine the entertainment. On my way home on Sunday I need to stop by my co-worker/friend Lacey's 21st birthday party. Oh, those were the days for sure! It's only slightly depressing that she turns 21 the month before I turn 30 but let's not dwell on such inane things. Happy Birthday to Lacey and I only hope she remembers half of what she does this weekend.

So, a few days ago I posted about the little old man and his dog and ever since then, nada. I have not seen this guy once and I'm used to seeing him every day so I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. Also, I spent two hours trying to find a pair of black flip flops to no avail. I mean, seriously. Black flip flops! It's freaking July, how hard can that be? I'm one of those people who hates it when people wear a black t-shirt and brown shoes so I really need to find a pair ASAP. Guess I'll be stopping at the outlets on my way there as one of my 14 errands that I need to run before I go!

I'm afraid that these last few posts have been a tad well... boring but hey, I can't be on all the time! Well, I could be, but I choose not to. Seriously though, it's been an incredibly long and boring week andI'm insanely happy that it's the weekend, even if right now it consists of me watching "Bridget Jones's Diary" on Bravo until I fall asleep. Have a great weekend!

Note to self: Hire painters next time

I’m really not that domestic. I’ve realized that now. Granted, I was pretty sure of it before this day, but now I’m positive. I’m an awful painter. Awful. However, I seem to be a pretty good taper and I attempted to do a lot of the edging sections. Thank god you do more than one coat, right? Anyway, I would like to thank my friend Sarah and my cousin Chrissy for all their help today. I would have gotten little done without them so “thanks!” The spare room looks great and my bedroom has really come together. We still need to do the woodwork in both rooms but now it’s actually beginning to look like a house. I tackled the woodwork in the bathroom but (see above) I’m not a good painter so the woodwork around the window looks like a train wreck. The rest of the room didn’t come out so bad but it’s really hard to cover up that pepto-bismol colored primer with white.

God knows I hate to be boring but the painting has pretty much consumed my day. I’m not even up on my regular entertainment news which is always disappointing for me. Tomorrow is another day and I’m sure I’ll catch up. Hopefully the day will go by quickly tomorrow since I was out today. I know, I’m such a rebel!

Right now I’m catching what I believe is the first season of Grey’s Anatomy and I’m just not used to having it on Thursday nights. I mean, I planned my Sunday nights around that show and Thursday is the one night where I might actually have a life. Tivo, where are you? Come back to me! Just biding time until the World Series of Pop Culture comes on again. I swear, it’s so addicting because I’m curious to know how I could have done had I remembered when the auditions were. I figure between me, C. Howe and Sandra we could have put a good dent into the competition. I can’t come up with a good team name as of yet though.

Still not efficient enough to post links. I really tried. I had a fellow blogger (thank you Rob) send me step by step instructions yet I still couldn’t do it. I followed them to a “T” but it didn’t work. Perhaps I’m not meant to help you find cool sites. You’re going to have to do it on your own (and when you do, make sure you tell me about it!) Well, it’s about that time and my life was very uninteresting today so I’m going to spare you from that. TGIF!

I know you can't get enough

so I figured I'd post some more idiotic ramblings for the masses.

I'll get to Project Runway but I'm presently watching the "He's Just Not That Into You" episode of Sex and the City and I have to wonder if anyone but Carrie Bradshaw ever wore tights that either have knee pads in them or have the knees cut out. I can't figure out which way it's going but at least if the knee pads are built in there's some sort of function there. I love the show, but I never really got the avant-garde fashion that Patricia Field tried to bring in. I mean, the name necklace, the flower brooch - things real people can wear. But I've been down teh streets of NYC a couple times and have never seen anyone wearing kneeless tights, or satin hot pants with 10 inch heel unless they were a hooker. Perhaps that's how Carrie afforded her apartment. Rent control my ass!

Anyway, Project Runway: The casting special wasn't terrible. I admit I was curious as to what some castmembers were doing, although I really would have liked to have seen that southern blonde from last season slumming it as a manager at Express. Then again, I guess that's not exactly the "TV Worth Watching" Bravo was looking for. The first challenge was to make an outfit with only the furnishings from their new apartment. They could use absolutely anything they found in the apartment and they did, including feathers from the pillows and beading from the chandelier. It was slightly predictable, but I guess it is in the beginning because you can already see who has a clue and who is window dressing. The Harvard MBA (um.. yeah, I don't remember her name and neither will you tomorrow) got kicked off tonight and was up against Jeffrey, the neck tattoo guy who's the next Santino but so far not as entertaining. I believe I read somewhere that they know each other which makes perfect sense. Someone has to be "the bad boy" except Santino did it better and as much as I was a Chloe lover, I would have chosen Santino's collection last season. Honestly, the promos for the rest of the season didn't give much away but for some reason it looks like creepy Vincent will be around for a while longer. I'm looking forward to see what they do with the rest of the season and I hope the personalities come out a little bit more and people fill their roles. I really want to know who gets booted for not playing by the rules. Those crazy fashion designers!!!

I caught a bit of the World Series of Pop Culture again and the category was "Life After Reality." Some of the questions were so freaking easy I couldn't believe that people got them wrong. What I liked most was the names of the two groups: Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike (let me remind you there are only 3 people on the team) and I Heart Jake Ryan. Priceless. The Boys from New Edition fell short but at least they had a memorable name. Tomorrow its "We're What Willis Was Talking About." Now I'm stuck thinking about what my pop culture team name would be.. I guess I'd have to confer with Sandra since she would surely be my partner in crime. If I could figure out how to post a link I'd link you to her blog... But again, techno moron bordering on imbecile so it might take a little bit longer for me to do so.

I really thought I was on the right track as far as getting painting done tomorrow. The rooms aren't that big so I thought Sarah and I wouldn't have a problem getting the upstairs done. Until I went to teh house and realized the woodwork has yet to be painted, nor has the ceiling in my bedroom. Holy wrench in the works. So, it's going to be a very long day and I'm probably going to wish I was at work instead. Ok, that's a lie but it sounded good. I'm not much of a painter but I think tomorrow will be my crash course. Luckily Sarah is a seasoned pro so we'll see how it goes. I'm really just looking forward to rewarding my hard work with a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich (plain with cheese) and a haircut. Can't you see I'm a simple girl! Yeah, that's not exactly true either but it sounded good at the time.

Anyway, time for bed. I won't regale you with more than one Chris Daughtry picture today (ok, I tried but it didn't work - I even put one of him with Ed Kowalczyk to up the bald factor) and I tried to post a picture on the bottom of the blog instead of the top but that didnt' really work out so no pictures for you! Just think, it's almost Friday.

American Idol: The aftermath

This picture speaks for itself. Chris Daughtry was a show-stopper. He did not wear leather pants which was a damn shame, but I would have licked the screen if I were not afraid of electrocution (which I am). Let me run it down for you:

Mandisa the queer hater opened the show. I like her, don’t get me wrong. She’s a big girl with an amazing voice, but I really didn’t need God bought into my American Idol experience. Regardless, she was a great way to begin. Her third song turned into a duet between her and Ace, the beanie wearing pretty boy. I’m not a fan. He’s not my type (see: Chris Daughtry). However, chicks dig him, young and old and he really did put on a good performance. He sang songs that really worked with his voice and while he touches himself way too much for me, I was pleasantly surprised. After that was Lisa Tucker whose first song was Signed, Sealed, Delivered. After that I went to the bathroom. Not because she was bad, but because I knew the line would be short and I didn’t mind so much missing part of her performance. She bought “her friend Paris” out for the end of her set and then I had to watch her fake Beyonce, both in voice and dance moves. It kinda looked like kiddie porn (I’m guessing). I never liked her anyway, so it’s not like now I’m going to start to say nice things. Then there was Bucky. What more do I have to say? The kid’s name is Bucky for Christ’s sake! Can’t dance a lick, can only sing slightly better but at least he was entertaining to watch. To continue with our country theme there was Kellie Pickler. OH GOOD GOD Kellie Pickler. She looked like a white-trash drag queen but at least she pronounced Albany correctly (it’s not Al-bany kids.. it’s ALL-bany). She and Bucky were doing a cover of “You’re the One That I Want” from Grease. Train wreck. Absolute train wreck. She was not together with the music (which I will never understand) and she bought Bucky right down with her. I felt bad that it was his last song cause she helped to slaughter it. They got back on track but I was just cringing through the whole thing. She bought us to the needless 30 minute intermission.

I admit, I was breathless with anticipation because I knew it was only Chris, Elliot (or Ethan, as my friend Sue called him) and Taylor left. So, once the hard music came on I was perched at the edge of my seat. Again, no leather pants but still looking gorgeous as ever and singing like there was no tomorrow. Everyone was screaming and I felt a little dirty because the little girl behind me kept yelling “I love you Chris” and I could only think that I love him in such a different way than her. So I believe the first song was Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin and then segued into Wanted: Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. Finished that up with Renegade and all of them were really great, rocking versions of the originals. He picks up a guitar (note to men: chicks dig guys who can play guitar) and begins to sing “Saving Me” by Nickelback who not only played the Pepsi Arena Monday night but (according to Sue’s brother in law) also frequented the strip club DeCarlo’s with Chris Daughtry on Sunday night. Midway through the first verse Elliot Yamin comes out and I admit, it was a pretty great collaboration. That was Chris’s finale and it was well worth it. I love Elliot but after Chris it was a bit of a letdown because he doesn’t sing songs everyone knows. However, he does have the best voice on the show (in my opinion) and I did enjoy him. Plus, his mom was there and she got a standing ovation from the crowd during intermission. In the spot reserved for Miss Diva herself, Katharine McPhee, Chris, Bucky, Elliot and Ace got together and sang “Patience” by Guns and Roses. It blew me away. They all sounded so perfect together and I really wish there was a way for them to release it on an album cause it was fanfuckingtastic. Finally out comes Taylor Hicks from the back of the arena. He was very high energy and mostly sang songs that earned him the adoration of the fans on American Idol but everyone (even the local reviewers from the paper) agreed that Chris stole the show. He’s just a consummate performer and was so incredibly on point. I will stand in line and wait for that cd to come out, I promise you that.

Anyway, the concert was much better than I had anticipated and it was also entertaining to watch middle aged women throw themselves at people half their age in the name of music. I swear, the whole front row was moms fighting with their children to get a piece of Ace (I couldn’t help it - it was just too easy).

I know, I’ve been consumed and I almost apologize. The American League pulled out a win in the All Star Game last night thanks to a stellar performance from Michael Young (um.. who?) Good for him. I guess he’s a second baseman. What can I say? If it’s not B-Rob on second I’m really not paying attention. Plus, I only saw highlights so I can’t really wax poetic about “what a game!” 41-49 at the break and I believe we’ll be seeing said Mr. Young the next few days so let’s see what we can do to start things off with a bang (and I’m not talking about players banging into each other, although that’s pretty much bound to happen too).

Finally, Project Runway debuts tonight and I can’t freaking wait. 9:00 is the casting special with Tim Gunn (Make it work!) and I guess we’re gonna hear what many of the key players from the first two seasons are (or in some cases aren’t) up to. I will be glued to the TV from 9-11 regardless of the painting or laundry that has to be done. I will try to give my critique tonight but it’s the first night I’ve had nothing to do in about a week so I might not be able to stay up much past 11 to post. Patience is a virtue kids.

Happy Hump Day

Sometimes there are days...

you know you should have just stayed in bed. As I was drying off after my shower this morning I felt an itch on my foot. When I looked down, I found a mouse running over it. That is never a good way to start the day. I bolted from the bathroom (I wish I always ran that fast), hurling obscenities to find my sister and father laughing their ass off at me. Then I’m pretty sure my Dad beat it to death. I didn’t stick around to find out.

Someone has to explain to me why I’m not currently on The World Series of Pop Culture on Vh1. Seriously. Ok, it may be because I would have trouble finding two other people to compete with me. I’m doing pretty well on my own though.

Saturday at Camden Yards is Brian Roberts bobblehead doll day. Considering I’m doing everything I can to get to Eryn’s bonfire/birthday party, I’m thinking she should go on Ebay to get me one. I don’t see that happening, but it sounds like a good idea to me. I’m pretty sure someone will decide to sell theirs and I hope to snap one up. I doubt I’ll get down to get the Brian Roberts growth poster (I think I’m a tad too old for it) so I’ll take what I can get. Speaking of Orioles, Ed Rogers (he of the peekaboo baseball) was sent down today. What a way to start off the All Star Break by making room for someone who can hopefully.. well.. find the ball. Unfortunately, Miggy didn’t really make a dent in the Home Run Derby so let’s take a moment instead to dwell on his fantastic efforts in 2004.


OK, time’s up. Ryan Howard beat David Wright in the final round. I think Wright might have shot his load a little early. I was able to watch his first round and he did kill it. Sorry David – it’s all about longevity and in this case, in more ways than one. Hopefully the AL can pull it out tomorrow night for home field advantage.

My bedspread came in. I’m not happy. I wonder if this is one of those times where you should just go with your gut feeling. It’s not that I don’t like it, but it’s a tad darker than it looked online. I plan to wait until the room is painted to decide if it’s good or not so I’ll keep you posted. Speaking of which, I’m thinking of banging out of work one day this week (more than likely Thursday) to get some painting done so again, I do not disappoint Eryn. The things I do for that girl.. hee hee. Oh well, I still have the lamp.

It’s a good thing Lynn’s wedding was this past weekend because I think my legs had a target on them when this one kid was up. It didn’t matter where I played, he nailed it at me, and hard. If only I could have fielded the ball. At all. Bad hops. Lots of bad hops and lots of bad calls, which actually lost us the game. We got a guy out on third and he went back to the bench but the umpire never called him out so instead of getting the third out of the inning, he went back to the bag and the next guy hit a grand slam. We lost by 1. Complete bullshit but what are you gonna do? It’s a game.

2 more days till Project Runway. I can’t wait. I initially got hooked on the show when I caught the tail end (ok, 4 or 5 hours) of the first season on Bravo and there was a marathon on yesterday. Imagine the motivation it took for me to leave the house and play my ball game!

Tomorrow is the American Idol concert. As embarrassing as it may be, I’m kind of excited about it. Ok I won’t lie, I’m pretty excited about the prospect of Chris Daughtry in leather pants and I’m almost glad that diva/bulimic Katharine McPhee won’t be there. I wasn’t a big fan of her anyway. Granted, I think it’s shitty that she thinks it’s ok to not come to the first three weeks of the show (bronchitis my ass) but I’m sure it’ll still be entertaining.

Still beat and unfortunately, not many interesting things have happened the past two days so I’m afraid you all have to suffer. Hopefully more entertainment to come in the near future.

Now THAT was a wedding!

Wow! What a great time we had yesterday. Igot my hair and makeup done, had a manicure and a pedicure (I don't think I'm going to wait for another wedding to get my next one - nothing beats being pampered) and then was rip roaring to go! Everyone looked amazing and the reception was a blast. There was karaoke and lots of dancing. My legs still feel like Jell-O, but in a good way. I think we made some new friends with Lynn's fabulous bridesmaids and I admit, I was a bit of a camera slut. I think I got a picture with the husband of every bridesmaid, but it was all in good fun and that is exactly what we had. I met my non-veggie eating soulmate, Ryan, but unfortunatley he's married to the Matron of Honor. Just my luck! ha ha.. Lynn looked beautiful and I'd like to personally thank her for the flip flops she got for the bridesmaids. The best thing she could have done and we all appreciated it! The wedding has kind of consumed the weekend but in a good way! If you didn't have a good time at that wedding it was because you didn't want to!

Got up around 10:30 and actually made it to the brunch this morning which was nice and unexpected. Nothing cures a hangover like a big honking pile of greasy breakfast food! Had to play ball this afternoon and it could NOT have been hotter. I had to catch and I think I sweated out every single bad toxin that was in my body. I'll tell ya - my reflexes were pretty off today so I think I'm glad all I did was catch. Even gatorade wasn't helping me so after the game I decided to try a little hair of the dog. I was really jonesing for a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's but I worked with what I had - Ronny's cheeseburgers and along with the beer, they really hit the spot. I can't believe I could actually drink beer today but I think it was just because the beer was so cold and it was so damn hot outside. I just got hom ea little while ago and I'm extremely exhausted. I plan to spend the rest of my night putting the bazillion pictures I took yesterday onto Shutterfly but I hate to disappoint so I figured I'd try to post a little something for my legions of fans.

O's pulled it out today against Cleveland 5-4. If you can believe it, Javy Lopez went 3 for 4. Maybe we'll go on a tear after the All Star Break. Hey, a girl can dream! Time for me to get my shit together for tomorrow because there's another ball game to be had. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

There is a God...

and he might just be a closeted Oriole fan. Luis Matos has been designated for reassignment. You can almost hear the sigh of relief from Oriole fans all over the country. That’s not to say that the guy they’re bringing in to replace him will do anything phenomenal (I’m pretty sure he won’t) but we’ll give him a shot. I mean, what are the chances that another guy will lose the ball in his jersey, right? RIGHT?

Bored out of my f’n mind. I’m leaving early today because of the rehearsal dinner and I might even try to get a final tan in because I’m a little concerned about tanning the day of the wedding. I’m getting my eyebrows waxed that morning and I’m already afraid I’ll have freaky red rings around my eyes so to accentuate them with fake sun is probably not a great idea. I really need a sugar daddy cause this working shit is getting old. REAL old. I’m probably just having a reaction to this beautiful summer weather we’ve been having. Add on to that the multitude of things I could be doing at the house and my brain is sort of fried. Perhaps once I get through this weekend I’ll be alright. Although I do have the American Idol concert to go to on Tuesday night and while I don’t have the McPheever, I’ll be a little peeved if she can’t suck it up and perform. You’re not a star yet, honey so don’t pull this shit. In all honesty, I could care less as long as Chris Daughtry wears leather pants and sings me some Live. My bald man fetish will live on through him.

Not much has gone on today so I apologize. Let’s see what I can pull out of my ass: Kathy Griffin is saying that her husband Matt has basically laundered $72,000 from her. Matt - you married Kathy Griffin… you’re gonna get skewered on the stand up circuit so I hope you have a really thick skin. God I can’t wait to hear what she has to say in two and a half months when she comes to town. Have I mentioned I’m going to see Kathy Griffin? Yeah, I thought I might have.

I have two new favorite web sites: www.gofugyourself.com and www.realityblurred.com. I have been amused by them all week. I actually found this list of 100 best entertainment web sites in Entertainment Weekly and I just remembered these two off the top of my head. I need to go back and read them all cause I can only imagine the distractions I could come up with. If you like fashion or reality TV, be sure to check them out.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 opens today. I didn’t see the first one yet so I will not be seeing it this weekend or any other weekend because some of us girls from work are going to go on July 19th. Plus, I need to see the first one before I see the second one. I’m anal like that. I’ve never been a big Johnny Depp fan and since I’m scared of anything Willy Wonka, he had to suffer. I don’t know, I wasn’t even a “21 Jump Street” Johnny Depp fan but everyone has raved about how great these movies are so as a self proclaimed movie buff, I’m going to give him a shot. Just not this weekend. I have a feeling he’ll survive without my paltry $7.00 (God it’s good to live in a small town when it comes to movie ticket prices).

Perhaps I’ll have more later but if not, have a great weekend cause I have a feeling I’ll be spending most of mine in a pretty dress and beer induced coma.

The longest day ever

I considered walking in front of a bus so I'd have to go to the hospital and not back to work, but Lynn might kill me if I missed her wedding. Instead, I figured I’d better try to post sometime today considering I have a ball game tonight and have been sleeping pretty shitty. I have a feeling I won’t sleep much this weekend so I might as well catch up on it while I can.

First off, The Devil Wears Prada: Great movie. I really liked it and I never once wondered when it was going to be over, which is pretty much key for me. Now, I haven’t read the book in quite a while but from what I can recall there were TONS of changes made, and that bothers me. Also, the book (as usual) is better than the movie. There was more backstory in the book and I think it was necessary. Plus, there were such strange things they changed. I mean, does it really matter what the boyfriend’s name was? No, so why change it? Regardless of my nitpicking, I really enjoyed the movie. Meryl Streep was absolutely amazing and I’m almost convinced that Adrian Grenier has a soul. It was nice to see Daniel Sunjata from Rescue Me (even if he was fully clothed) but I wish his part had been more central to the character, like it was in the book. That man deserves way more screen time, even if it’s just to look at his well chiseled face… yeah.. his face.

Not much to say about the O’s. Dropped a game 4-2 last night and Markakis is taking a break thanks to some pain in his calf. He’ll have an MRI today to rule anything out but it looks like it could be a minor strain. The All Star break couldn’t come any sooner! 4 more hours left to vote for Ramon, who is more than worthy of representing at the All-Star Break, sore knee and all. However, it’s more than likely that the spot will go to A.J. Pierzynski. I don’t know if I spelled that right although I do think they’ll take away my “Polack” card if I didn’t. Anyway, Adam Loewen is doing well in AAA and hopefully will be able to come up soon, along with Hayden Penn who has hopefully recovered from his nasty appendicitis attack. It can’t get any worse, am I right?

Last night I caught “So You Think You Can Dance.” I know, after last week’s dance recital rant you would think I’d be watching it religiously. However, it debuted literally the day after American Idol and I just couldn’t commit to something like I had with Idol. Plus, I had already had my heart broken thanks to the early exit of Chris Daughtry and I just couldn’t do that to myself again. Well, I admit I’m sorry I missed it. It was pretty entertaining and for the most part, I agreed with the judges. It’s pretty interesting to watch these people from all different genres try to learn something new and look professional doing it, even when they don’t have a clue. I don’t have a favorite as of yet because I haven’t seen a full show yet (and won’t because I have a ball game tonight and my Tivo won’t be hooked up until we move into the house) but I’ll try to update you more on that when I’m able to commit to it.

Emmy nominations: I’m disappointed in that Jason Lee didn’t get nominated for “My Name is Earl.” Kevin James?! Come on Academy!! However, I will give the Academy props because who would have ever thought Jaime Pressly would get nominated for anything more than Cow Pie Queen at the local fair? (that was a compliment… kinda) Seriously though, she cracks me up on Earl and I would love to see her win. I would also really love for Jeremy Piven to win cause we all know I have a strange adoration for him going back to PCU and beyond. I always have a soft spot in my heart for the douchebags and Ari Gold is their King. I never got into Arrested Development so I can’t root for any of those people, especially since I think they took nominations away from some more deserving people on The Office (again, showing a little love for the Poles, John Krasinski). It was nice NOT to see domination by the Sopranos (perhaps due to such an awful season) and Desperate Housewives and to give some last minute chances to Six Feet Under, which is still one of the greatest shows ever made, in my humble opinion. And finally, Grey’s Anatomy. That’s my new Six Feet Under and I only hope Tivo gets hooked up before the new season starts on its new night and that it survives. Guess we’ll have to wait until August 27th for the winners and the fashions.

My email quotes at this moment in time are from the movie “Beautiful Girls.” If you haven’t seen it, please see it just for Rosie O’Donnell’s rant on what men think of beauty. Priceless. It’s also one of the first times you see Natalie Portman and it really bothers me that this girl never went through an awkward stage. She’s downright beautiful even as a pre-teen. This is one of those movies I can watch a million times and though I own it on DVD, I’ll still stay up late to watch it if it’s on HBO. Tons of great quotes and this is today’s:

Andera: You know there are fours words I need to hear before I go to sleep. Four little words. "Good night sweet girl." That's all it takes. I'm easy, I know, but a guy who can muster up those four words is a guy I want to stay with.

Brilliant.

Finally, I have a little something to get off my chest. Every day I drive by this adorable old man walking his dog. It makes me smile every single morning because you can just tell how much he cares about this dog just by the smile he has on his face walking it, no matter what the weather. That’s all great, but what bothers me is that he walks the dog and has the dog on the side where the cars are. I mean, am I wrong in saying that the man should be the one by the cars in case (god forbid) anything happened? Would you put your kid in that position? I think not. It’s an incredibly busy road and it’s crazy during the morning and afternoon commute. I have been thinking about this for days and it’s just bothered me. That’s what you get for clicking on my soapbox! Have a great rest of the day.

I've changed my mind

I'm a woman. It's my prerogative. Ok, it's Bobby Brown's and Britney Spear's too.. but Bobby did it better. Hell to the YES! I changed my mind and bought the bedspread you see next to you. It matches the lamp, the lampshade is also striped (which is so against everything I stand for, but I'm trying to get over it) and the colors match perfectly.

Tre and Danny painted some of the ceilings today and the cabinets (well, some of them) have been repainted and I have to admit, they really look nice. They'll look great with the black appliances, knobs and hinges. Things are going well. Really all we have left is painting and Tre and Dad need to put the floors down and do a bit of sheetrocking in the living room. I'm sure Tre and I will be a tad more cautious in her house than we were for the infamous "sex toy party aftermath" in which her ass went through the sheetrock. It's not my fault she doesn't know how to get low (Thanks to my college rugby coach, Nick, for teaching me how to get down)!

I'm very excited because I'm FINALLY going to see The Devil Wears Prada tonight. I had to beg and plead but my sister has agreed to go with me. Danny called me to see if I would consider going to a more boy-friendly movie but I had been looking forward to it all day and really, the rest of the movies playing were not ones I was interested in. I mean, I do want to see Nacho Libre but that could be a rental and Superman Returns doesn't start till 9:30 and won't get out till after midnight. I don't have the energy for that long a movie tonight and I know my sister won't. So, I doubt I'll have a chance to post after the movie but I promise to let you know what i thought of it tomorrow. At this point it better be amazing because I've certainly yped it up more than necessary on this blog!

I've been reading some of the boys blogs regarding the Orioles and they are talking about maybe acquiring Mark Texiera. I like him. I'd be more than willing to give away Luis Matos, Ed Rogers, Rodrigo Lopez and Bruce Chen just for him. Hell, I'll even throw in Conine if I can keep Miggy and Javy. Again, I'm a girl and that is one stellar ass. Throw me a bone here. Game just started so I don't have any scores to share with you.

Big Brother starts up tonight with its All Star edition. Again, when are reality stars going to get over their 15 minutes and get real god damn jobs?! So anyway, the cast list has been leaked onto the internet and the usual suspects (or at the least the ones that will more than likely cause the most drama) have made the show. I have always liked Big Brother but I never got into it more than when I was in Australia. I think I watched it religiously for the week I was there and was totally addicted, so much so that I used to check the website and read the updates every single day. I will not be as involved in this one. I think it's just that it's on so damn often and I'm not home that much in the summer (contrary to the insane social life I've displayed in this blog)!

I think my guiltiest pleasure in life is Dog the Bounty Hunter. I have no excuse for it, nor do I intend to make any. I love the white trashiness of the show but that they really do work hard at what they do and help people, probably even the ones that don't deserve their help. Like I said, no excuse. A week from today is the beginning of Project Runway. God, I can't wait. It's like crack to me which is really interesting because it's not like I've ever been into fashion or can even sew a button on a shirt. I guess it just amazes me what people can create with their own two hands. Let's keep going on the guilty pleasures: The Girls Next Door. I'm sure everything about it is wrong but Holly's completely uncomprehensible adoration of Hef (her baby puffin - I still haven't figured out if that's a compliment), Bridget's friendliness and Kendra's complete blonde moments just crack me up and I can't help but watch. I don't think anyone was happier than me when they got that Playboy cover last year.. Again.. I can just feel the eye rolls and yes, the guilt is certainly there but still no excuses. I can't even make one up. Yeah, I think I'm done on that note. I've embarassed myself enough.

Yep, I'm a loser

But in all honesty, I’m ok with it. Granted, it’s the 4th of July and I should probably be out partying or something, but I have to work tomorrow. The majority of my friends are teachers and no longer have to work so I get the shit end of the stick. Yeah, I know. I picked my profession and I obviously did it poorly. However, if I had been a teacher I’d probably already be in jail for hitting some little shit who got smart with me. I don’t like younger guys all that much so there’s not much of a Mary Kay Letorneau allure for me, so I’m guessing I’d be in jail for assault instead. Therefore, I spent my day watching the Project Runway marathon (Santino doing a Tim Gunn impression will never get old), doing laundry and switching purses. Oh yeah. I know you’re all wishing you were me.

The O’s got their ass kicked today, but my boyfriend Nick Markakis has really been turning it on. I think my friend Anthony (Toine) in Atlanta really did tell him that I was willing to drive down and have my way with him in the dugout tunnel because that boy sure has been on a tear!!! I’ve been reading on all these other blogs about people begging for him to go down to AAA and that he came up too soon, blah blah blah. Sure, it’s only been a few games of excellence but at least it shows the boy does have potential and he certainly deserves to be in the majors. Would he be there if he were playing for the Yanks or Red Sox? Probably not, but isn’t that why we’re Oriole fans? We love giving some Joe Schmo a shot cause he just might turn into greatness. I mean, who thought a tall, skinny drink of water like Cal Ripken could play shortshop, right? Let’s give the kid a shot and a break.

To make my night even more entertaining I’m now watching Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman. Ordered my tickets for her show in September and I can’t wait! I know a lot of people don’t think she’s funny but I love the fact that she skewers celebrities because if I had a stand up career, that is so what I’d do. Hell, I do that now I just don’t get paid for it! I mean, I don’t know if you’ve seen her show but I’d take her “D-list” house any day!

So, let me give you the house lowdown: I spent yesterday painting the kitchen cabinets and I also primed the upstairs bathroom. Thing is, I had to prime it in this light pink color (ok, it looks like pepto so if you come into the house understand that it’s the primer, not the actual color) because the color I chose (frosted pomegranate) is a darker, cranberry (or pomegranatey) pink and if I didn’t prime it that color it’d be really pink. Now, if you go upstairs in the house when it’s painted you’ll see a theme of pink but I didn’t want it to be Barbie Pink. More of an adult pink (although the Barbie pink was hell getting out of my hair)! Anyway, I got out of work early, went straight to the house and started painting the cabinets and then this morning I painted the wainscoating which is a HUGE pain in the ass because you have to get in all the little crevices and it was slightly slow going. I then go upstairs and start priming the two upstairs rooms (my hands are still white and I literally scrubbed myself raw) and all is well. I’m proud that I’ve accomplished so much in the little time I have and life is good. So, earlier that day, my mother, sister and I had a debate about what color appliances to get. Tre wants black but the cabinets are brown so my mom and I thought stainless steel would look nicer. We have yet to go get the appliances, so no big deal. I come downstairs after priming and my mother tells me they decided to repaint the cabinets (that I had spent forfuckingever on) in a gray color. So, the color we had originally painted then was called Yorkshire Brown, but when you put it all together on the Behr web site it looked gray and it looked really nice. So really, the Behr web site screwed my sister cause the coloring was off, but I’ve already told them I’ve done all I’m going to do in the kitchen. It’s not like I know how to use it anyway, am I right? Anyway, the floors are sanded and tomorrow I think Tre is going to paint the ceilings. I guess then we’ll do all the painting and finally, the floors. The beer, pizza and painting parties will be coming up over the next few weeks so reserve your spots now! Isn’t it nice to help your friends accomplish goals? I thought so!

Anyway, not much else going on. I have to get my dress re-altered tomorrow morning before I go to work and still have to use my lunch to go to the mall and buy a bra, headband and spanx. Shoot, that reminds me that I need to research spanx. I think I’m a little confused as to what they are and what they’re supposed to do and I really don’t have any time for that because my lunch is only an hour and I’ve only figured out one way to sneak out of the office when I’m thinking I might be a few minutes late. I’ve gotta work on that. I’m trying to find a bedspread and I found one that matches my colors perfectly (see the posted picture), but it’s printed and since my lampshade is striped I’m having some issues with having a printed bedspread. Jesus Christ I’m anal. Time for me to figure out what I’m wearing tomorrow and do some reading. I’m only about 10 pages into Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez but I’ll keep you posted when I know more. It’s pretty good so far. Happy 4th to all!!!!

PS – STILL haven’t seen The Devil Wears Prada. Not happy.

What the hell am I doing here?

Yep. It’s the 3rd of July and here I am. At work. I’m not bitter. After all, it’s a dress down day and we’re having a pizza party. What am I, 12? I had every intention of posting last night but then I realized I was going to have to be here all day so I figured I’d wait it out and see what happened. I’m in the back corner all by myself so I could literally have a rocking dance party back here and I’m pretty sure no one would have a clue. I’m still considering it, although I’m listening to the Original Broadway Cast Recording of Rent which might be a little too depressing for a dance party. Guess I better hit shuffle on my Ipod to get me through this day.

Anyway, I should recap the weekend. Saturday morning I went over to the house to sand the walls of the spare room and my bedroom. I’m not one for manual labor, but I was doing a really good job and then the sander started to make a very strange noise, which I took to mean I’d overworked it (and myself) and I should go home. My sister just assumed I broke the sander. I beg to differ. That afternoon was my cousin’s graduation party and it’s always entertaining to get my family together. We had a good time and were feeling no pain when we left around 8:00. Directly following we went over to my friend Tara’s house and just sat around on her porch, drinking beer and margaritas. I was in bed by 11:30.

The Behr website has become the bane of my existence. It has this special section where you can actually go in and see the colors you pick on the walls. I changed everything. Same general idea, but the actual colors had to be changed. So irritating. I thought I had everything set and then I go through this web site and second guess everything I’d chosen. I finally gave up because I just didn’t want to deal with changing my mind anymore. I went to Home Depot (well, it was a family trip) on Sunday and bought the paint so there really isn’t any turning back now. Have I mentioned what a fan I’m NOT of Home Depot? I still need to find a sink and probably a toilet, but the one that’s in there seems to work, albeit a little rusty, so why waste my money?

Lynn’s wedding is this weekend and when I tried my dress on last night (after having it altered) it basically fell off me. I don’t think they’ll appreciate that in the church. I mean, I could probably get away with it at the reception but they shun nudity in the church as far as I know. So, there’s some more work to be done, a low backed bra and spanks to buy (gotta make sure everything stays in its rightful place) and a headband to get that I should have bought when I saw it a month ago cause god knows it won’t still be there when I go to get it this week.

I’m almost happy to be at work today, only because they are doing marathons of the worst shows ever on TV today. I had to watch the Today Show today instead of Buffy the Vampire Slayer because there is a King of the Hill marathon on FX. I’m not saying it’s a terrible show but, I hate it when my morning routine is broken. I tried to watch MTV and I was made a victim of a “Next” marathon. So not a good way to start a morning where you didn’t want to be up anyway.
Still haven’t seen “The Devil Wears Prada” and I admit, I’m slightly bitter about it. I don’t like going to the movies alone but when there’s something I really want to see I have no patience. I wonder if they’ll have a matinee tomorrow. Of course, I should do work on the house since Dad is actually sanding the floors today and the paint is just sitting there. I should also get some sun because even though I’ve been tanning for two months I still look freaking pasty. If anyone has information on sunless tanning please let me know, because I’m seriously considering doing it. Hope you all enjoy your days off. Feel free to drop me a line to keep me entertained and have a Happy 4th!!!!

I want to shakalaka with you

I apologize for my lack of posting last night but believe it or not, I had plans! My day was not quite as hellish as I had thought, so I got out of work on time and met my girls for the dance recital. This is my second year of not being in it and most of their first, so it was looking to be a bit of a traumatic experience. For those of you that don’t know (or understand) I danced for roughly 23 years and quit mainly because I wasn’t finding the dances challenging enough. I mean, it wasn’t even good exercise in all honesty. So, I was the second of our group to quit and the rest followed at the end of last year. I don’t really know if anyone can grasp how heart wrenching it was for me to quit and I bawled my brains out when I did it. But, why continue to do something when you’re not fulfilled by it like you used to be? So anyway, I believe there were 10 of us in the balcony watching the show and I’m kind of happy to say that watching the show didn’t make any of us regret our decision. I miss the performing aspect of it, for sure. I mean, I would have performed the show every night and three times on Sunday if she had let me! But, the dances just weren’t challenging at all. Don’t get me wrong, to the untrained eye they LOOKED difficult and that’s the point. However, we knew they weren’t. The costumes were HIDEOUS, and that’s putting it lightly. I don’t know. I really wish it had knocked my socks off and made me want to go back but it didn’t. I would love to keep dancing and performing (even past the ripe old age of 30) and I do miss it, but not to go back and have to prove myself in front of spastic teenagers. No thanks. Also, the title of my post today was a line in one of the songs that was danced to. Um.... No thanks.

We cut out slightly early so we could head out for a few drinks which was so much fun. I don’t get to hang out with the whole group of dance girls all at once and we tend to be a rowdy bunch. I don’t think the poor bartender knew what he was getting himself into when we walked in! Everyone had a great time and we voiced our opinions and reminisced about old times and such things. It was a great night and I hope we get to do it again soon!

What else? O’s lost to the Phillies last night but hey, we’re used to that. I mean, a sweep? Seriously…. I really shouldn’t bitch because we are actually doing quite well in interleague play.. Now if only we could put a team together. Ya know, one that wins.

Also managed to read some stuff about Raffy and his chance text messages/phone call with Brian Roberts. That saddened me to a certain extent. Granted, he fucked up. I understand and I’m bitter about the whole thing cause I’ve always been a Raffy fan. But to have his only contact with his old team be through a random text message mistake? That’s just sad.

In other news, L’il Kim is getting out of the slammer on Monday. I bet the first place that bitch goes is to the spa cause I doubt her extensions and tips lasted too long in prison. Maybe she’ll start a new “just out of prison” fashion trend like Martha Stewart… although I’m pretty sure it won’t be a poncho. I’m thinking more along the lines of striped pasties and hot pants.. It is July after all.

Today couldn’t go by any slower and technically, I could leave early, but I’d rather get the overtime money in my next paycheck and spend the next 2 hours pretending to work while I really look for pink bedspreads on the internet. I had a rough week - I deserve some down time especially considering I have to work on Monday when everyone and their mother is off. Granted, it’s a dress down day AND they’re giving us a pizza party (ya know, the four of us who either couldn’t or didn’t feel like taking the day off), but I’d much rather be at a party drinking beer and playing liar’s poker. Or real poker.. although I’d probably lose less money playing Liar’s Poker. Probably.

I’m headed to my friend Sarah’s ball game after work which I hope will be slightly more eventful than my last two Friday nights - partypoker.net and ball games on TV. I make no guarantees! My cousin’s graduation party is tomorrow and I’m determined to see The Devil Wears Prada this weekend so I’ll keep you posted on how things go.

Still sleepy

Went into work at 8 and left at 7:15 with no lunch so, there really isn't much to tell. That is why I've decided to tell the story behind this picture instead:

A few weeks ago was my friend Shannon's bachelorette party and bridal shower. Favors from the bridal shower were little packages of chiclets, aptly packaged as "Luv Gum." Early on in the day I had decided that I was going to use the luv gum as my pickup line for the night, so I hoarded all the leftovers that people didn't take home.

So, we head out to Albany in a hummer limo and continue the boozing we had started at one of the bridesmaid's homes. I dubbed the limo driver "hotass" but that did not make him worthy of my luv gum. We hit up the Bayou (boys love bachelorette parties) but no one really lived up to my expectations. Eventually we made our way across the street to Skyline where Shannon got up on stage and played tambourine for the band. All of a sudden I see this guy on the outskirts of the crowd and decide he is "the one." I call over my friend Sarah because she'd been dying to get a picture of "the luv gum guy" since that afternoon. So, I go over to him and offer him my luv gum (which is one hell of an icebreaker) and we start talking. So, I ask him his name and it's Matthias. Not exactly the most common name and interesting because my sister works with a guy named Matthias. Yep... it was him. I'd never met him before and as luck would have it, this is how I do it. Thanks to luv gum. So, that is the picture Sarah took of us that night and while he is married, I feel the luv gum wasn't exactly a waste and at least a funny story. A funny story that we tried to tell my sister when we called her at 2 in the morning. Somehow it didn't translate well over the band and our drunken voices. I just don't get it.

I had little time for any pop culture/baseball information but I'll do what I can. I believe yesterday or today was Charlie Gibson's last day on Good Morning America. This little tidbit meant nothing to me because I rarely watch anything in the morning but Buffy the Vampire Slayer (don't laugh - it gets me through my morning). Anyway, he had very few final guests but Cal Ripken was on (and I'm so f'n bitter that I missed it) and I think he might have even rated higher than Kermit the Frog. Way to go Cal! I wonder if he wore blue? He should never NOT wear blue. The O's were supposed to play a double header today but all I know (or really care about) is that they won the first game and Brian Roberts hit his first home run!!! I have yet to see the highlight but I don't really need to. He just needed a little bit of time to get his shit together. That's all. Congrats to B-Rob and hopefully now Ben can hold his head just a tad bit higher when he wears his jersey at the games this weekend!

Let's see.. what else? Made it home from work just in time to make my tanning appointment that I really doubted I'd get to. I know it's bad for you but nothing feels better than falling asleep in a big cocoon of warmth. I'm in a wedding next weekend and the dress is a light green. I can't be the pasty bridesmaid!

I think I forgot to mention this but I did get out of work for a hot second yesterday and managed to buy THE lamp!! It was a very exciting experience for me and I made it home in one piece. I love that lamp. It's kind of like my first "big girl" purchase. Sad, but slightly fulfilling and that's something I can deal with. The downstairs of the house is primed and soon enough the upstairs will be too. Hopefully Dad will sand the floors on Monday and Tuesday and then we can start painting. Nothing makes a house feel like a home like.. well.. paint! Guess I should finalize my color choices in the very near future.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and SWAT is on FX. I really can't concentrate when Colin Farrell is running on the beach and I won't apologize for it.

I'm sleepy

and I have to work early (and probably late) tomorrow. Have I mentioned I can't wait until this week is over? Well, I can't. I have my first real closing tomorrow and another one on Thursday. I'm thinking Friday is going to be a very good day. No closings AND it's payday. Thank god!!

We lost our ball game tonight and almost lost my cousin. She got railed pretty hard, but she's a tropper and she'll be fine (eventually). It's so funny to play ball in this league because everyone hates us. I mean, it's not our fault we're good. We were missing so many people tonight and still gave them a run for their money. What cracks me up is the amount of people that showed up to this game just to see if we would get beat. I guess if you have nothing better to do with your life than go to some cheesy ass co-ed softball game and root against us, so be it. Guess you had a good night! ha ha..

So, I got home late and I missed the beginning of Rescue Me, and I'll probably miss the end too cause I'm heading off to la la land in a matter of seconds, but thank god FX repeats the shows about a million times a week. I have one gripe about FX though.. I just saw a commercial for Nip/Tuck, yet the show starts in September. I mean, give me a break! I see the commercial, get all excited, then realize I have to wait another two months before I can watch. That is irritating. Like I said earlier, they started showing commercials for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in freaking March (or at least it seemed like they did). I WAS looking forward to watching but now I'm so sick of the damn commercials that it's almost lost it's luster.

Ok.. I hate Peter Gammons and always have, but I hope the surgery for his brain aneurysm goes well. I'll say nothing more on this subject for fear of geting accused of being an insensitive bitch.

All this working is making me a very boring girl, so much so that I can't even talk about pop culture and my favorite television shows because I haven't had time to watch or read anything about them. This career shit's for the birds.

The scraping might be over

Tre and I finished the spare room and I don't think we're going to bother with the bathroom so I might not have to scrape any more wallpaper which makes me a very happy girl.

I couldn't get a good picture of the lamp (I've realized that I only need one which again, makes me a very happy girl) so you all are just going to have to come to the house and see the most wonderful lamp in the world in person. It's pink. Nuff said.

I have a new favorite song: Leave the Pieces by The Wreckers. Now, I've never been much of a Michelle Branch fan but I absolutely LOVE this song and I think it's pretty relatable. I literally heard it once and had to download it.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge night again. Someone please kick Wes off. I've had YEARS of MTV reality shows and he is probably the one person I hate the most. He's just a douchebag and all these people need to grow up and get real jobs. Your fifteen minutes of fame was up HOURS ago!!

Today was a pretty boring day and apparently my blog readers are going to have to suffer. In entertainment news, my favorite Backstreet Boy (let's never mention that I said that again) has left the band to "pursue other interests." To quote my friend Sandra "he's the rat faced one." What can I say? I always feel bad for the "not as attractive as the lead singer" members of boy bands. Maybe he will follow the lead of another Backstreet Boy and go into the lucrative world of Christian Pop.

Again, apologies for the boring day but I can't be "on" all the time. Oh yeah.. and thanks to a certain someone with more technological experience in his little finger than I have in my whole body because thanks to him I was able to make those CD's I bitched about Friday night. He shall remain nameless, but he knows who he is. Happy Monday!

You had to see it to believe it

This street sign was actually right across the street from Brandi's wedding reception. It took every ounce of self control I had not to steal it and that's only because it was owned by some of Brandi's new family. I respect that.

The wedding was very nice. Brandi and Joel made an absolutely beautiful couple and it was so good to see everyone. I think we entertained the folks at Darby's Pub in East Durham prior to the wedding and while we may have been the wedding outcasts, we entertained ourselves as only we know how.

It was a very mellow night in Hudson which almost put a damper on my big night out plans for Amy and Eryn but I'm pretty sure they were entertained as only drunk Hudsonites can entertain. Sarah made her virgin appearance out in the HUD and although we were all losers at Liar's Poker (nothing you can do about those 5 Six's Amy) we managed to make the best of it. It was a long and entertaining walk home (up hill, five miles, barefoot in the snow) but when you're a little in the bag you don't really notice it, which is always a nice touch.

I finally saw The Break Up. By myself. I got sick of waiting for any of my friends to go with me so i sucked it up on a rainy night and went by myself. What can I say? I love popcorn for dinner and Vince Vaughn. The movie was good. The ending was left kind of open (and VV was looking quite tasty by the end of the flick) but I did enjoy it and I'm still a little bitter that I waited this long to see it. The chemistry between Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn was very believeable and I have to admit that even I would have broken up with his character in the movie.

What a weekend for entertainment news, huh? Aaron Spelling died, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban got married and I found the most amazing lamps for my bedroom. Ok, that's not entertainment news but let me tell you, this lamp is INSANE and matches my new room motif like you would not believe. I can't believe I didn't buy it yet.. but I will. Oh yes.. pictures will follow so you can all appreciate it and marvel at the sheer wonder of it as I will.

I am a technological moron

This, and this reason alone is why I date dorks. I'm sorry "smart men."

I was very proud of myself because I was able to download Counting Crows and Guster's new CD's off of ITunes and put them on my Ipod. Big step in the right direction for me. Then, I even managed to download some songs and make a new cd on my sister's computer today, a skill that has somehow always evaded me. I was feeling pretty good so I decided to try to make CD's for my car of my new downloaded (and paid for) songs. Well, when I went to make these two great CD's I realized that I can't find the god damn songs on my computer. Oh, they're there because they're in my library on ITunes and there are even folders that have the album names on them, but I'll be damned if I can find the songs on the actual computer. So, there will only be one new CD in the car tomorrow for the long drive to the wedding, as opposed to the three I was hoping for. I need a boyfriend!

I love Lewis Black. He has got to be the funniest guy ever (next to Mitch Hedberg, but since he's dead, Lewis wins out). Yes, his act can be ruined by watching it on Comedy Central cause I love listening to him swear, but I'll live. I really do miss my XM radio in my car for that reason. Oh no, it's not that I didn't renew my subscription, I just really need to get a new mount and set it up in my car (please see the title of this blog and you will understand). I was sent a few links for some good mounts today so hopefully I'll be getting one of those really soon. What I was trying to say is, when I get sick of the same music all the time (even though that shouldn't happen with the vast selection XM has to offer) I always turn on the X-rated comedy channel cause it is funny as hell and I usually need a laugh or five on my way home from work.

O's beat the Nationals tonight.. Ya know, that HUGE cross town rivalry. Another Friday night and I'm proud of my boys. Oh, don't get me wrong, we suck big time. But, everyone has their moments and a strong outing from Rodrigo Lopez (or any of our pitchers, starting or otherwise, for that matter) is reason enough to celebrate. Yet another entertaining Friday night. I think it's becoming second nature for me to paint my toenails on Fridays because my Saturdays have been so jam packed. I had every intention of finishing that wall tonight, but I got sidetracked by my technological inefficiency. Yes, let's rub that in. I couldn't find an irritating computer picture so I threw one of Murphy on here instead. He probably doesn't care that I don't know my ass from my elbow as long as I give him part of my dinner. Have a great weekend - updates and pictures to come!

If I had balls

They would have already sweated off by now. Good god it’s hot! If you can believe it, I got on a roll and ALMOST finished the room I’ve been working on for a week. There is literally half a wall (if that) left to do and I just couldn’t do it tonight. I was sweating like you wouldn’t believe (and god knows I haven’t done anything that makes me drip sweat since college) and even singing Counting Crows at the top of my lungs couldn’t bring me through it. One more day and it’ll be done. This (like N’Sync) I promise you. I’m almost positive the inside of my hand is black and blue and while I know I should have taken a shower to get the wallpaper out of my hair, I was too damn tired and the only reason I’m writing this is so Shell won’t be bored at work tomorrow. I have to give in to my legion of fans. Ok, Shell, Sandra and Sarah. It kinda freaks me out that all their names start with an S…. Spooky!

I’m watching the rerun of Last Comic Standing on Bravo and I’m already picking my favorites. I think I mentioned last week that it was really a woman’s show but on the first one there are three women in the final battle. Interesting. Oh yeah.. HATE Stella.. Hate her. She does not deserve the one name moniker. Madonna… that’s a name. Stella? Come on!

I make no promises as far as blogging this weekend goes because two of my best friends from college are staying with me (um yeah.. at my parents house.. got a problem with that?) because our friend Brandi is getting married. Another one bites the dust! Lol.. Best of luck to Brandi and Joel anyway!!! So, I’m taking Amy and Eryn out on the town and maybe there’ll be some interesting pictures for me to put up. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. With those two, I can almost guarantee it!!

I’m beat to shit and can’t find the Oriole score anywhere on TV (hello, lack of patience with the ticker) so I’m gonna hit the hay. Before I do, I have one thing to say: I love Greg Zaun and his porno mustache. I might love him because of his porno mustache. I’m not quite sure yet. Maybe it’s the chemicals.

Who'dve thunk?

Fabric softener and water takes wallpaper off the wall better than water alone (God that sounded like some cheesy ass 80’s commercial, didn’t it?) But it seriously does work. I actually got almost a whole wall done in an hour and a half as opposed to the quarter of a wall I got done last week. Yep, moving right along – half a wall a week. I’m in the process of picking colors and hopefully we’ll move right along cause I can not WAIT to get into that house.

So, today has been pretty exciting because I just found out that Kathy Griffin is coming to the Palace Theater in September. Course, it seems I’m one of the only people that like her so I’m having a little trouble getting someone to go with me but I’ll worry about that later. Anyway, I’m watching her show right now and Michael McDonald from MadTV is on and let me tell you, those kids in the Army sure do love “STUART.”I honestly don’t think they knew who he was until he started to do Stuart, but I’ll bet that has its perks. I mean, that slight bit of anonymity and all the money. Then again, he is on the D-List Tour of Iraq so maybe he’s not making THAT much money. Oh yeah.. two of my most favoritest (yes, I know it’s not a word) bands released CD’s today. NO, not Huey Lewis (although just you wait until I tell you all about that concert) but Counting Crows and Guster. I don’t know if anyone has bought cd’s off of ITunes yet, but I’m considering doing it because it’s only $10 and lord knows how much I would spend on the actual CD. Then again, I’m a big loser when it comes to shit like that cause if it’s a band I really like I feel like I need to have the actual CD. And yes, I WILL put it in alphabetical order in my CD holder cause I’m that anal. Deal with it.

Yep, it’s 10:00 at night and here I am, drinking Coke Zero and eating a 100 calorie pack of Cheese Balls. Nothing makes a bad day brighter than a handful of cheese balls. Just try to prove me wrong.

Gotta go – it’s almost time for my new favorite show “Rescue Me.” Yes, I missed the first two seasons, but that’s what DVD’s are for. Kind of like how I’m going to catch up on Nip/Tuck which I also got addicted to last year. Damn you FX for sucking me in. DAMN YOU!!!!

I need a weekend to recover from my weekend

Things have been a little crazy as of late, yet not really things I want to broadcast! Therefore, I apologize for the lack of blogging in the past few days.

Lynn’s bachelorette party was this weekend. I’d post pictures but I promised no one would ever see them. It was a good time up in Lake George. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE involved had a blast. I can vouch for myself, that’s for damn sure. Lots going on in Lake George, especially when there are firefighters in town and bachelorette parties are usually a hit. We made some new friends (at least for the night) and got back in touch with old ones (again, maybe just for the night) lol.. It was a long, strange night (long because we got lost on the way back from the bar) and strange because, well… trust me, it had its moments! Lol.. I think rehab might still be in the cards.

I even missed Entourage last night if you can believe that! What can I say? Nothing close to a night’s sleep and no nap were the contributing factors to that, but I’m sure I’ll manage to see it 18 more times this week.

The O’s took two from the Mets (not even I can believe that) and thanks to them I managed to win a very important bet. As I said before, I was not able to stay up to watch any of the highlight reels but I can imagine that Ed Rogers losing the ball in his shirt was on every single one of them and will be on blooper reels for at least the rest of this guy’s short-lived career. AND, Kris Benson hit a home run. An American League pitcher hit a freaking home run. This is one of the times I love my boys. Granted, I love them all the time but this was one of those moments like when your boyfriend sends you flowers for no reason (I wouldn’t know from experience, but I’m sure that’s what it feels like), and I'm pretty sure that’s love.

The house is coming along. There’s lots of wallpaper scraping to be done but Tre and Dad have worked really hard and me, well, I try. Our initial plan was to gut the bathroom but I think we’re going to wait on that until after we’re in. Sure, the bathroom sucks, but it’s liveable and the sooner we get in, the better! Lord knows I can’t wait to decorate. So, keep an eye out for your “painting, beer and pizza party” in the hopefully very near future.

Let's Go O's

Good god it felt good to beat the Mets! I know they’re one of the best teams in baseball so it really must suck to get beat by one of the worst. Brandon Fahey really stepped it up and even the bottome of the order wasn't as atrocious as usual. Kudos! At least it won’t be a sweep no matter what happens!

Note to Men: If you are married, engaged, in a relationship or living with your baby momma, you might want to NOT exchange phone numbers with someone who is single and thinks you are too. J Shady dealings, man.

Because I’m saving myself for the bachelorette party tomorrow night I sat home and tried to learn how to play poker on partypoker.net. I’m not sure how well it worked. I played for 2 hours and lost about 500 fake dollars. It might have been better if I’d paid attention to the poker game and not the Oriole game. Then again, the O’s game was way more fulfilling!

Today was a boring day and now you’ve all suffered. I apologize. Hopefully more interesting posts in the future.

I hate scraping

I literally scraped one wall and I want to kill myself. When you buy a house it’s almost worth the money to pay someone else to scrape all the shit off your walls, especially if it’s an old house. Just a tip.

I left work early today and DAMN it felt good. I’ve spent the last four days on nothing but the same project and if I spend my whole day tomorrow on it I just might kill myself. Obviously not literally (cause I would have already killed myself from the wallpaper scraping), but I’m sure you get the idea. I plan on leaving a little early again tomorrow and maybe I’ll spend yet another night scraping walls. Well, at the rate I’m going, wall. Try not to live vicariously through me and my insanely active social life, ok?

It’s the karaoke episode of The Office. Nothing beats the awkwardness of Michael showing up to the party he wasn’t invited to and a night of karaoke. Holy buzzkill. And again, my love for John Krasinski keeps growing. What can I say? I do love the idea of an approachable Polack. He just feels attainable.

We all know I’m a pop culture fiend and all, but I still refuse to watch the Britney Spears interview with Matt Lauer. Now, I do feel bad for her because I really don’t think she’s as terrible a mother as everyone makes her out to be and she does have people following her everywhere, BUT her husband is a white trash wannabe that’s riding on her coat tails and for her not to know that (or pretend she doesn’t know that) is ludicrous. I do admit, I’m slightly intrigued, but I’m going to put that aside and take a bath instead. I think it’ll be better for my psyche.

Freedom is in my future

I don’t even know where to start. Oh yeah… the house is official! The closing was yesterday and (not) soon enough, Tre and I will have our very own place to live. Yes, she bought the house but I’m gonna end up paying half the god damn mortgage so it might as well be my house too, don’t you agree? No pictures until it’s done.. then you can see everything!

Ok, now that everything is in reruns I’ve been trying to watch some different shows and last night I FINALLY caught “Rescue Me.” It was great! Now, I’ve never been a fan of Denis Leary, but the show was absolutely hysterical and included a guest turn from Susan Sarandon. For those of you who do watch it, did you see it coming that the new kid was gay? I mean, I kind of had it figured out when he walked in the door of the apartment but they kept calling each other “bro” or something so while deep down I knew it, I still wasn’t sure until newbie put his head on his roomie’s shoulder. I wonder what “The Tao of Pooh” would think of that! I’m hooked – at least till Law and Order SVU comes back in the fall. I’m also looking forward to “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and thanks to FX, I have been for about three months! They started the promos so damn early but I think Danny Devito will be a welcome addition. Thank God he’s funnier than he is tall. I also caught bits of Last Comic Standing and I am so glad the girl with the lisp didn’t get on. Now, I don’t consider myself biased against the lisp, but I just didn’t think she was funny. I mean, I get it, it’s your schtick but I just don’t think it can be funny and not be irritating! I don’t know, I guess I feel bad that some people get on that show that already have some sort of notoriety as a comic (such as, Bil Dwyer) or have been on TV in some other capacity. It just doesn’t seem fair but hey, guess we have to wait and see who wins. It’s a bit of a girl’s world this year so I’m curious to see how that pans out when everyone moves into the house next week.

Once again tonight I’m going to embarrass myself by watching “The Hills.” It’s almost as guilty a pleasure as Dog the Bounty Hunter. Almost. I am almost completely invested in LC and Jason’s relationship. I need to know what’s going to happen.

Speaking of couples, I was watching MSNBC tonight (don’t worry – I won’t make it a habit) and they were reporting that Jennifer Aniston has accepted a marriage proposal from Vince Vaughn. SAY IT AIN’T SO. I’m almost as upset about this as I was when Sandra told me that Urkel killed himself (don’t worry boys and girls – Urkel is alive and well). Again, almost. We all know about my Vince Vaughn fetish so this is obviously a kick to the balls (if I had balls).

Score update – O’s down 6-3 in the 7th… Thank god for Miguel Tejada…

Night kids!

Rainy Days and Mondays (ok, one of the above)

Today was as pretty close to the hellish day I thought it was going to be, but I got some extra time in so hopefully I'll be able to use it and get out early some day this week. Tomorrow is the big closing so I'm sure at some point there'll be house pictures to put up on the blog. Well, maybe the after pictures! lol So, if anyone is great at scraping paint or painting, feel free to stop by. We pay in beer and pizza :)

We lost our first (and hopefully only) ball game tonight. I think it's probably because I wasn't in the game because once me and Kyle took over the right half of the field I believe they were held scoreless. I mean, who knows? I'm just telling you how things went down, that's all.

O's won 6-4 against the Blue Jays tonight. Another homer by Ramon Hernandez and a winning outing by Kris Benson. I would say more on that but I'm watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat and I have to voice my utter disdain for Wes. The mohawk doesn't make you look any meaner, it just makes you look like a dork who's trying too hard and the last thing you should do is blame your teammate cause you're an asshole and everyone hates you. He can not get kicked off quick enough for me. But, I do love me some Coral. Always have, always will cause I know if I were on the Real World (which I should have been in my day) I would have been the white version. I've got the boobs and the attitude.

What can I say? it's been a long day and I'm beat to shit so I'm gonna get a move on. More at another time.

Which way to Betty Ford?

I was very much looking forward to this weekend and for good reason. What a great time we had! Friday night was a regular night out – Melino’s and St. Charles and I admit, I cut it short knowing what Saturday was going to bring. I did get the car on Saturday. I promise to take pictures but at this point I’m just surprised that I don’t have to slam on the brakes to stop the car anymore! So, Saturday night was the 30th birthday party and we had an awesome time. It was so good to see everyone together again and I got some great pictures that I (hopefully) sent out to all the right people. We went through a shit load of beer and somehow all managed to make it out to the bars after the party. I’m shocked. On a lighter note - my game was TIGHT saturday night. Perhaps there'll be more on that later. Even more shocking is that the majority of us made it to breakfast this morning, which was a well deserved and badly needed dose of grease! We sent Chris on his way but he knows we miss him and we hope he comes back soon – for Nytropalooza, maybe?

Today was pretty uneventful. I mean, I was just happy I crawled out from under my hangover long enough to go to breakfast. But, I needed a day where I did little to nothing because I know tomorrow is going to be a day from hell at work and with a ball game after that I might just collapse into bed when I get home Monday night. I need a weekend to get over my weekend. I’m gonna have to cut this short though, because well, I’m exhausted and I need to force myself to stay awake for the season premiere of Entourage tonight. High priority!

Distraction

I was so blown away by Photo Day that I really haven't been able to think of anything else regarding the Orioles these last few days. But I have some thoughts:

I love me some Brian Roberts but I'm not sure if I love or hate him coming up to bat to the melodic strains of Biggie's "Hypnotize."

The O's salvaged a split with Toronto and we're in Minnesota tonight I believe. Maybe having Dempsey at first base will light some sort of fire under their ass (not that Corey Patterson needs it).

Tonight it's the award winning Lopez-Lopez combination. I saw this battery on Sunday and it was well worth it. I hope Rodrigo continues to pitch like a champ and that Javy does... well.. whatever it is he's doing to keep Rodrigo going. His playing of late has helped me begin to think of Javy as something more than just a "hot ass." I said "starting" - don't get your hopes up quite yet.

I'm driving the short bus to rehab

Why are the short weeks always the longest? This week has dragged on and on and on like you wouldn’t believe! I think it’s probably because I have things to look forward to this weekend (the car, a haircut, Chris is home) and that only exacerbates (that was for you San) the situation.

It doesn’t help that I’m a tad hungover. I had every intention of going to the Moosehead last night and getting some $.35 wings and beers but “NO”, Justin didn’t want to leave the St. Charles (he also didn’t want to be mentioned in this blog - Oops) so somehow he finagled us some $.35 wings and semi-cheese fries which really did hit the spot. Add in $5 buckets of Bud Light, some Devil’s Haircut shots and Michelob Lager and you can understand why the night may have turned into a bit of a blur. I was home and in bed by 11, but when I woke up at 3:45 (for no good reason) I can’t say I was in the best of moods. Also, for anyone who doesn’t know, there’s a movie filming in Hudson. For you out of towners, when in Hudson you either stay at the St. Charles or the Warren Inn (I think they still have the hourly rate, or so I’m told). Needless to say, the Hollywood types frequent the St. Charles. So, this guy David is standing behind me and my drunk sister (who is blatantly hitting on him), and he “subtly” mentions that he works on the movie and he’s actually Bruce Dern’s assistant and that Bruce is outside on a phone call. After what can only be described as the longest phone call in history, in walks a very old man who hasn’t aged gracefully and does not look out of place in our little town… sorry Bruce, but it’s true. Granted, the man just turned 70 so I’ll cut him a little slack, but I wasn’t impressed. The problem might be that when he said Bruce Dern, I was thinking Bruce Paltrow (yes, I know he’s dead but I’m talking looks-wise) so that may be why I was a tad disappointed. I felt a little too tipsy to go introduce myself, especially since I’m not all that familiar with his work and I could have made a complete ass of myself. So, point of the story - I was in the same bar with Bruce Dern and while he was eating his dinner, my sister and I were desperately trying to get the bar owner to get the YES Network by making disparaging comments about his balls (or maybe it was someone else's balls; I'm really not sure). Guess we’ll have to wait and see if our sly ploy worked.

No rest for the weary though, as I’m sure I’ll have just enough time to throw down some food and take a shower before we start things all over again. Taking Chris out in Hudson tonight. He needs to know what he’s not missing by living in South Carolina! The day is almost done and it wasn’t quite as awful as I thought it would be, but that means Monday is going to be that much worse. I have this huge closing to do and I’m clueless. Talk about trial by fire! I consider it more like not knowing how to swim and having someone throw you in the deep end of the pool without your swimmies on. It’s not a pleasurable experience but if you work hard enough, you should get your head above water. BUT, we’re not going to think about that until Monday morning, when my new car is taking it’s virgin trip to work!

Getting close to “hair of the dog” time.

Popcorn for dinner

So, today I bought a car. But let me tell you what led up to me buying the car first.

So, I go to the dealership at 8 am with my Dad and we meet my Mom’s cousin’s husband who works at the dealership. All is well, I’m plodding along. It’s raining, so there I am, umbrella in hand, heels and skirt on until I’m on the ground. I took a major header right in front of pretty much everyone at the dealership (luckily it was early so there weren’t too many witnesses, but still). I have weak ankles as it is so I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to be able to put my shoe back on and walk to the car I was looking at, which was an adorable Black Toyota Corolla. I was finally able to compose myself regardless of the nasty holes in my pantyhose and the blood pouring out of my leg and test drive the car. Loved it and come Saturday, it will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

In reference to the title of this post, my sister and I went to see X-Men 3 tonight. It was VERY good. Special effects were amazing and the story wasn’t so bad either. If you haven’t seen it yet, pay special attention to the beginning and then wait until after the credits. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Switching between Celebrity Poker Showdown and The Hills. My friends had me play poker with them a couple Fridays ago and I’m so hooked. I’d be way more hooked if they didn’t force me to play for money, but such is life. I mean, I’m learning! Is it really fair (or conducive to my learning) to force me out so early and break me all at once? I’d certainly bet differently if there were no money involved, but I guess that’s the point. So yeah, again I’m sucked into The Hills. I don’t really know why. I guess because it’s the season where there’s nothing on and I’m taking what I can get. That’s my excuse for watching The Hills so stop bugging me. If only I could have my Wednesday night of Dog the Bounty Hunter, Inked and Project Runway back. I miss my Wednesdays. Bring it back Heidi Klum!!! Help a sister out.

Long day of training class tomorrow so I’d better get a move on and pray to god I don’t have acid reflux from the massive amounts of popcorn I’ve digested in the last three hours. Is it Friday yet?

I have a case of the Mondays and it's Tuesday

So yeah. Today was what we call “not a good day.” Work blew. I felt like an idiot all day, but we won’t even go into that cause it’s boring as all hell and I have to go back there tomorrow.

To make matters worse (or better, not quite sure yet) I took a brief journey looking for a car. The repairs necessary on my car are worth more than the actual car, so I think it’s time. I find it very interesting that this happened pretty much days after I paid the car off. I think it’s part of the car’s internal computer to know when it’s paid off so they can shit the bed and force us to never NOT have a car payment.

Today is my friend Chris’s 30th birthday and his mom put a picture of him and his brother in the paper. My sister and I told my mom she better not do that to us so I’m pretty sure she’s taking out a full page ad with the chicken-pox, naked in the bathtub picture out of spite. Chris is coming into town this weekend and I’m almost positive I’m going to need to go to rehab once this weekend is over but I can’t wait to see him and celebrate even though he probably won’t bring his gay ass home for Nytropalooza no matter how much we beg but I love him anyway. Happy Birthday Christopher Thomas!!!!

Yes, today was a bad day, but only one thing perked it up, and that was the free gift I’m going to get at Lancome tomorrow. So, I drove to the mall to get foundation cause I’m scraping the bottom of the bottle and the lady at the counter says to me “can you wait another day?” I thought she was kidding because HELLO, what lady at the makeup counter doesn’t want a sale? I looked at her a little strange and then she told me about the fabulous free gift I could get if I waited just one more day AND she gave me a cute little vial of my foundation so I don’t have to go to work all splotchy tomorrow. So, I did waste gas getting to the mall, but tomorrow I will waste gas again AND get a free gift so that averages out, am I right? Ok, it will average out if I can shout the stain out that I got at lunch today when Taco Bell squirted out of my crunchy taco and onto my shirt. Note to self: When you know you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed that morning and you had already ruined your first day of “I’m gonna eat right and go back to the gym” the last thing you should do is eat Taco Bell.

I Heart Photo Day

Oh my god... Had I known what the concept of Photo Day was I would have been the first person in line on Sunday morning. So, the first 5,000 fans (so they say) were allowed to go underneath the stadium and onto the field, surrounding the warning track. The players would come by and you could ask them to take pictures with you. Holy shit! I admit, in the beginning I was simply taking pictures of guys as they walked by, but I got sick of listening to Barbara Smith from Virginia talk about the letters she's written to Trebelhorn about her high school ball playin son to everyone that walked by so I took it upon myself to save them by asking them for a picture. It started with Corey Patterson and only got better. Um.. call me a delusional fan, but Nick Markakis and Melvin Mora both touched my back and I think Todd Williams and I made out. Ok, that didn't happen, but there were arms everywhere! It was an awesome experience that could only have been eclipsed if Brian Roberts had made it around to centerfield. Obviously, any woman in her right mind wants a picture with him so, he didn't get very far. Next year I might camp out Saturday night so i can get as close to the dugout as possible.

Ok, weekend in Baltimore. I've gotta tell you. It's insanely disconcerting to be an Oriole fan in Baltimore when the Yankees are in town. I was SURROUNDED and I heard more "Let's Go Yankees" chants than anything else. I think next year I'm gonna hit up one of those Tampa Bay series! I mean, I go there to not feel like the outsider and so i can yell "O" during the national anthem. I admit, both games were great, even though the O's couldn't bring it home on saturday. Course, Sunday was way better and nothing shuts up those obnoxious drunk Yankee fans like an ass whooping. If only it happened more often :) I also have to say, there is nothing more entertaining than listening to grown men shout another man's name and have it be completely heterosexual, and even somewhat masculine. Only Yankee fans. As I said, the games were great, definitely entertaining for me (not so much for my mother and sister who would have left early on Sunday if I had let them) and Photo Day was beyond my expectations. I mean, I almost didn't go but I figured since we were in town for it, there was no good reason not to go! Good call on that one.

The weekend was a good one and I'm certainly enjoying being home before 6:30 for once during the week! I'm actually trying to catch up on watching those movies I rented and didn't watch on Friday night. Got through Just Like Heaven - cute... unbelievable, but cute. I've got Match Point on now.. I'll keep ya posted. I'm sure I'll give a good review. I dig men with accents :)

More great news - Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz broke up. Ok, so not such great news for them, but I know I'm not complaining. Let the naked bongo playing commence!

I take it back

Our pitching sucks

but not as much as Luis Matos, who sucks as much as a toothless hooker. I'd love to be a fly on the wall of that second "why am I not getting playing time" conversation with Sam Perlozzo.

Good thing I rented movies tonight

Our bullpen blows... Wait.. I take that back.. our pitching in general blows. I'd hate to blame a small group of guys when I can blame a bigger group of guys and some coaches too! But I'd like to thank Giambi for striking out...Doesn't mean I'm taking back my last post, but it's appreciated. In case you're wondering, yes, I do refer to the Orioles as we, our, etc. What can I say? I've been an out of state fan long enough and put up with enough shit that I feel like I deserve to be a member of the team. On a similar note (meaning baseball) I never realized how much I hate the YES Network and how downright mean they can be to anyone that's not a Yankee. I think sometimes the commentators think Jeter and A-Rod invented the game of baseball. It was Doubleday boys, remember that.

Anyway, because my day was so f'n boring and my brain fried, I stopped on my way home from work and rented three movies, never once occurring to me that the O's/Yanks were actually on TV and I could watch the game in real time. So, I am sticking with the game for now, but I make no guarantees that I will stick with it to the end. I have no choice (I DO NOT leave ball games that i'm attending, even if the score is a million to nothing) but to stick it out for the next two days (hopefully through some big wins) so I think it's ok if I bail out a little early tonight.

I rented Transamerica, Match Point and Just Like Heaven. I've adored Felicity Huffman since she was on Sports Night so I had to give her Oscar nominated performance a shot. The other two, well, sometimes you just need something brainless to watch, ya know?

Bottom of the 8th and I've yet to give up hope, so I might as well stick it out, am I right?! Granted, I do have to get up early in the morning so I can make it to Baltimore with plenty of time to get a new shirt at the Harbor and nachos (just chicken and cheese) with my dad at the ESPN Zone. I don't think my dad considers it a real trip to Baltimore if he doesn't get to the ESPN Zone - and Boog's BBQ!

On a lighter note - who else isn't completely convinced that the Prince of Monaco didn't father Anna Nicole's bun in the oven? Would it surprise anyone? Granted, he said there is no way he's fathered another child (after the first one) and now there's a 14 year old in California who finally knows who her daddy is. Yet another nominee for the "keep it wrapped" club.

Anyway, just because I'm home on a Friday night doesn't mean I don't have shit to do so I'll catch ya on Monday and hopefully regale you with stories of my lustful night as the meat in a Brian Roberts-Nick Markakis sandwich..... YUMMY!! Happy weekend

This is what I'd like to do to Jason "Juice" Giambi

I figured it out

Who doesn't love Snoopy?
Originally uploaded by kara815.

As you can see, I learned how to post a picture. Not quite where I wanted it, but hey..it got the job done! I feel so technologically efficient it's downright silly.

I'm watching the marathon of The Office and I really have to say that I think John Krasinski might be one of the funniest men on television. Yes, Steve Carell is funny, but Krasinski is so much more understated. Granted, he's not bald, but it's not really fair to think he'd have EVERYTHING. And, he's Polish. Need I say more?

Speaking of men I love, I just had a conversation with an ex who will remain nameless but he knows who he is, who proceeded to tell me that Vince Vaughn was HUGE. I think his exact words were "Fatty Fatty 2 x 4." I tried to reiterate to him that i just saw Vince (cause we're tight like that) on the Best Damn Sports Show Period last night and the man is so far from puffy it's sick! Plus, if you look at any promotional shots for The Break Up you can tell he's looking as close to his Swingers days as he can, considering how many years have passed. Don't mess with my man. I will win, and I will win big.

My shirt came in so now I can go to Baltimore and not feel like a bad fan, so that's a relief. I'm packed - my toenails are painted orange and tomorrow is payday. What more can a girl ask for? Ok, I could ask for the O's to be winning right now, but I 'd rather they kick the Yankees ass and make Randy Johnson feel as bad as he looks.... If that is even possible cause I don't think I've ever seen an uglier man in my life. Unfortunately, tomorrow is my friend Melissa's last day at work so hopefully the day will go by quickly (for her of course, not for me). I only have one thing to say to her and that is "your mom goes to college." She gets it and is laughing her ass off as we speak.. This I promise you.

BTW - KFC mashed potato bowls? HIGHLY RECOMMEND. It's like a bowl full of heaven..

Does anyone else hope Brad and Angelina’s baby is ugly as sin?

Don’t get me wrong - I’m a member of Team Jolie, but I couldn’t be more sick of Namibia and Shiloh and anything else that has to do with this baby’s birth. You’d think it was the second coming of Christ! Don’t lie - we’re all human. You know you’re all hoping this kid has skinny lips, chubby thighs and a body hair problem. Granted, I’d rather see this kid than Suri Holmes Cruise (what the hell kind of a name is Suri? It reminds me of that song from “Oklahoma” - Surrey with the Fringe on Top) And again, we all know what a fan of Dawson’s Creek I was, but my Joey Potter had a mind of her own. I’ll get you Tom Cruise, and your Scientology too!

Let me point out, it’s not that I don’t like Jennifer Aniston, I do. It’s just that, well… she got Vince Vaughn out of the deal and so I’ve had to stop feeling sorry for her.

Once again, it’s feast or famine here today, so as I watch the cars go by I’ve had a lot of time to think of things to write. While perusing the internet today I’ve found out many wonderful things.

1. Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant - the father is a paparazzo. Note to self Anna: When you get your body back like that, the last thing you do is not use protection - especially with a guy who’s basically a stalker.
2. Clerks II is now opening July 18th instead of mid-August. What can I say? Gigli aside, I still love me some Silent Bob.
3. A Chorus Line is coming back to Broadway. All I want in life is to have Michael Douglas shout “CASSIE!” on the Great White Way.
4. After months of not knowing what was going on and endless searches on the internet, Making the Band 3 is coming back. Although because it’s Diddy, we’re probably just gonna see the remix.

My big goal for tonight is to be able to post a picture or two. I need to practice because I’m going to Baltimore this weekend to see my O’s take on those nasty Yankees. Whether we win or lose tonight we’re coming off a pretty good series with Tampa Bay so I hope we can keep the momentum up while I’m there. Regardless, Photo Day is on Sunday which means the first 5,000 people at a particular gate will be ushered onto the field to take pictures. I don’t know if that means with the players or not, but if I were to get my picture taken anywhere in the vicinity of Brian Roberts I may a.) piss myself, b.) jump his just-off-the-DL bones or c.) Both, neither of which would be attractive. So, whatever goes down I’m going to want to show the world what a cute couple we are. If anyone has any good ideas of how to post both pictures and/or links (I tried to follow the blogger.com directions last night to no avail) let me know. Katie (it’s good to be friends with your high school valedictorian) gave me some advice today so we’ll see if it works.

I’ll give the picture thing a shot after wing night tonight. $.35 wings and beer will trump computer learning any day so don’t hold your hand on your ass waiting for those pictures to come up.